Pancake's polygon penis
Who: Justin Pancake and Lester Seventeen-Dot-Phelps
Where: The Enlightenment v0.22 beta, crew quarters
When: After they had just gone through the portal
Justin looked down at his holographic body. Whoever had modeled him in
3D had gone to the detail of keeping the moles, scars and scratches on
his arms, but then Justin looked down his trousers and realized he has
only been given a penis made out of seven polygons.
"Seven polygons!" he cried out, as he pulled his rudimentary penis out
of his pants.
"Only seven bastard polygons?!! It looks rubbish. It looks like it's
been through a tree-shredder not that I would know of course apart
from that I do."
He called for Holly and the face of the computer appeared on a
holographic tv screen on the wall. As soon as Holly saw Justin, he
winced and looked away.
"Gordon benett, put that away that gave me a right shock." Holly said.
"No. Look at it. Just look at it!"
"I don't want to."
"It's rubbish. How come I've got all the scars, scratches and moles
where they're supposed to be, recreated in brilliant detail, but then
I've got some penis shaped like a squashed Christmas-cracker?"
"Probably to save on polygons." Said Holly.
"Well thing about it, theres a whole ship here recreated in
holographic 3D, with an entire crew, also in holographic 3D. All of it
has to be maintained by a computer processor... controlled by me by
the way... so that's a lot to think about. So why waste extra polygons
on some sexual organs that you don't need for this mission."
"I might need them!" Justin said.
"I might meet a girl on the crew, and one thing might lead to
another... and then the situation might arise that... you know... I
don't want to scare her off by getting this horrid looking object out
Holly thought about this for a moment and then said "If it's any
consolation, her genitals are probably just as rudimentary. It will
probably only be a pixel."
Justin winced at the thought. "Holly! I didn't need to know that."
After a while Justin went to find Lester Seventeen-Dot-Phelps, whom
had already told him that he used to work on the AI simulation "Better
"Oi!" Justin said as he barged into Lester's quarters. Lester was
already busy programming new graphics to make his quarters look nicer.
"Have a look at this nasty-looking bad boy. Can you make me something
<Tag over to Lester. I wasnt sure how Lester would react to Justin's