Efof and EP - "I think I can taste anus"

Who: Efof Yuwan'kar
Where: Blue Dwarf Prime
When: After Efof and Dysart crash into Seymour's Apartment
Dysart grinned and looked around, the normally immaculate
Ambassadorial Apartment had been devastated. "He's not going to be
happy when he comes back anyway."
<end snip>
Efof left Dysart who had started cleaning up Seymour's apartment. The
memories of Andy the cleaner had some urge to clean up the mess, and
Efof really wasn't that bothered. He just planned to hide when
Seymour came back and went on a rampage.
IF Seymour came back that was, he'd been gone for a long time and
Efof was starting to wonder if he'd ever see him again. Efof was a
little sad about this, even though Seymour had always treated him
like dirt.
The Hymenoptera were making a mess of the Blue Dwarf. Efof wondered
if it would be best to give it up for a bad job and go live on one of
the many other Blue Dwarfs that were out there. He wondered which of
the many alternate ships he'd seen would welcome him the most. Would
it be the one with the monkeys? Or maybe the one where the crew had
no arms or legs? Or the one where all the crew were female. He
wondered what it would be like to live with female versions of people
he knew. And then he thought about what would happen if a female
Seymour fell in love with him or something. He felt sick at the
He pressed the button to call an express-lift elevator and waited.
The door opened and a Hymenoptera warrior bug jumped out at him. It
took him by surprise but was able to duck as it jumped and get into
the lift while it recovered from missing him and hitting the far wall.
He pressed the "close door" button several times and the heavy lift
doors shut before the Hymenoptera could charge at him again.
Efof whistled and then something changed in the air in the lift.
Space seemed to be warping right next to him. He pressed himself
against the furthest wall.
EP then pulled the chain...second before the 'chaun was blasted by
what turned out not to be a missile but something resembling a large
frozen sausage (source unknown)
@@@@@@@ transporter effect goes here @@@@@@
Seconds later EP materialised on some decking..somewhere...Looking
around he could not see MP anywhere
"I think I can taste anus!"
"EEEEE!" screamed EP's bottom.
..... "What was that?"
"Oh no....no no no no no no no"
<end snip>
The shape of Phil Febuggure materialised in front of Efof, facing him
and looking confused. As he turned around Efof saw one of the oddest
things he'd ever seen. Mini-Phil was merged into Phil's body but
upside down. So Mini-Phil's face was where Phil's arse would have
"Phil?" Efof asked. "Are you feeling okay¬Ö. Because you look a little
This seemed to be the understatement of the century, and Phil gave
Efof a look. "It's Evil Phil actually." EP said, as if it should have
been obvious.
"Sorry." Efof said. "I wasn't really paying attention. I was
distracted by the fact you have Mini-Phils face for an ass!" Then he
laughed hysterically as EP sighed.
"It's not funny!" EP shouted angrily.
"It is!"
"No it's not!" EP said.
"Well lets see." Said Efof. "Because this lift is heading towards the
Drive-Room, where I'm sure all the senior staff are. If they last a
whole 10 seconds without pissing themselves with laughter, I'll give
you a months wages."
EP grumbled and kept his back to the wall.
"EEEEEEEEEEEEE!" Screamed his bottom.
As the doors to the lift slid open, the Drive-Room appeared empty. EP
thought he might just get away with it. Then Jay's face peered around
the corner of the meeting room door.
"Efof, Phil, in here. We're just having a meeting about how to help
Blue Dwarf 876, from the `Jamaican Mining Corporation' from
Hymenoptera attack."
Efof nodded, then sniggered at EP, who was shuffling out of the lift
with his back to the wall.
<Tag Phil, how long can EP last in this meeting?>

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