Niples - "Royal Boobage"Posted by
Posted: Apr 1, 2009, 4:08pm
OOC - Warning. This post contains a lot of royal boobage.
"Hi Queen of the Hymenoptera. I'm Queen Brittany of England. Want to share
tips?" Brittany said sarcastically.
"So how do we get out of here Alota?" Seymour asked his small daughter as he
wiped the tears from her small face. She cooed and started making sparks from
her chubby fingers. She waved them round and a crimson hold in space started to
form around them...
Who: Seymour, Queen Brittany, baby Alota, and a bulbous monstrosity
Where: The King's palace, Paradise City
When: After escaping via wormhole from the Hymenoptera
The first think Seymour felt as the wormhole deposited him in this new location
was warm water being sprinkled on his face. Alota sat under his legs, and
Brittany probably wasn't too far away although Seymour didn't see her at
Baby Alota looked up in shock and burbled. "Monster!" She said, and giggled.
Alota's first word. Seymour's jaw dropped. His daughter had said her first word!
He was so proud... he was... He wasn't looking at what she was pointing at, and
thought he'd better.
The room they were in was filled with warm steam, it looked to be an elaborate
bathroom, and they were stood in the shower.
A creature next to them screamed. It was pink and rotund, and was very very
naked. The creature seemed to be female, and Seymour's only rationale for this
was that she seemed to have several hundred bulbous breasts hanging from all
over her body. They drooped from her body and swung like pendulums as she moved.
The creature screamed and quickly reached for a towel to cover itself up.
Seymour was mortified, the creature was so disgusting he wanted the shower water
to wash away what he'd just seen.
The alien woman continued to scream, and Seymour now tried to do his best to
calm her down. "Madam, please. We didn't mean to disturb your shower. We'll
leave you in-"
He didn't have a chance to leave however, as the door flung open and a Mollopod
stood in the doorway. An ornate blue cloak hand from his neck and a crown sat
atop his head.
"Dearest are you okay-" Then he saw a strange man standing in his wife's shower.
"GUAAAARDS!" He called.
"Look, please... I can explain!" Seymour started, but it wasn't long before the
guards arrived. They dragged Seymour out of the room and into the throne-room
Seymour was flung to the floor, and his young child was placed down next to him.
A short moment later, guards dragged Brittany out of the same room. "This one
was hiding in the airing cupboard sire." Said the guard. "We think they're sex
"Explain to me why you're here!" The King demanded.
"We... we... " Seymour started weakly. "Are you the King?"
"I'm King of Little Cheftonia yes. Now answer the question!"
Seymour pointed to Brittany. "She's the Queen of England."
"AND?!" The King questioned. "Why should I care?!"
Seymour shrugged. "Well I thought I'd point out you had things in common. Maybe
you could join a club or some such thing."
"Enough!" The King shouted. "The penalty for seeing the a Queen naked in Little
Cheftonia is the death penalty!"
"We didn't see the Queen naked!" Seymour said quickly.
"Yes you did. I just saw you in her shower!"
"Oh THAT was the Queen? Sorry, I thought it was some sort of mutant or pet."
The King grabbed a spear from the guard next to him and swiped Seymour around
the face with it. Seymour fell backwards and held his cheek as it started to
"How dare you!" Said Seymour. "I'm a Royal Ambassador don't you know!"
The King shrugged. "What do I care? I'm a King you moron. You're outranked!"
The King sent his guards away, leaving himself alone in the room with them.
"You should be ashamed of yourselves. Spying on a Queen's private areas and
bringing a baby! What sort of sick parents are you?" The King said in disgust.
"Oh, we're not... I'm not the mother." Brittany quickly pointed out. "The
mother's a rabbit from another dimension."
"Shh!" Seymour hushed. "We've just gotten her away from people who want to study
her abilities, lets not deliver her into the hands of another! Just leave the
talking to me. I'm used to talking to royalty."
Seymour finally stood up and brushed himself off. "Look, your majesty... We came
here by accident, but we do want to talk to you regarding this war that is
currently going on. Mollopods vs Humans."
The King sighed. "I'm listening." He said reluctantly.
"Lets call a truce. To show how serious we are at forming peace between our two
peoples, I have brought Brittany, Queen of England here herself."
The King shrugged. "I'm not creating an alliance with scum like you who
collaborate with Hymenoptera. Plus, I don't care who you are miss, but the Queen
of this so called 'England' is of no importance to us."
Brittany looked down in shame at this point. "Seymour, lets just go."
But Seymour's anger had now started to surface. "Hold on your majesty." he
addressed the King. "The British Royal family stretches back several hundreds of
years, and is filled with stories of the most noble, powerful and strongest men
and women, from the best country in the Human civilisation..."
Brittany rolled her eyes. "Save it Seymour, he doesn't want to hear it."
"No. Wait. Have I told you about Henry VIII and his six wives? Well it's an
"Seymour, save it!"
"What about How Queen Elizabeth the first defended England against the Spanish-"
"Save it Seymour!" Brittany shouted. "I'm not even interested in the history of
my family, why would he be?"
Seymour shrugged. "Because it's utterly fascinating!"
"It's not. It's stupid and boring and it's old fashioned."
"You can't say that your majesty!"
"It's true. You want me to be one of those prim and proper Queens. All ladylike
and untouchable. That's just not me. I want to drink tequila shots, get ratted
"Have you noticed ma'am that the Mollopods have a law against seeing their Queen
naked, to preserve her modesty. How about we try that too?"
"Are you having a go at me again for my modelling career? Why can't you just
"Because it's deeply insulting to hundreds of years of the British Monarchy!"
Seymour shouted back.
"I can't believe we're having this argument again!" Shouted Brittany.
"We'll have it until you act like a proper Queen ma'am!"
"Will you two just stop arguing!" Shouted the Mollopod King. Then he shouted for
the Guards. "GUARDS! Take them away please, they're more trouble than they're
Two guards entered the room and Brittany thought quickly.
Brittany had a skill, it was a very specific skill that you wouldn't normally
think about as being beneficial. However, in this exact moment, it was a skill
that saved her life. She had the ability to get undressed faster than you'd ever
In no time at all, Queen Brittany was stood there absolutely naked.
Seymour covered his eyes when he saw what she was doing. "Ma'am! What on Earth
are you doing?!"
The many nude photoshoots she had done for sleezy men's magazines had prepared
her for exactly this moment. She stood there naked, wiggling her body slightly
just enough for the guards to stop in their tracks.
The King of Little Cheftonia stood there gawking at her. "Oh... you're THAT
Queen Brittany" he said at last.
Brittany turned to the guards. "I'm Brittany Queen of England. I've heard the
penalty for seeing the a Queen naked in Little Cheftonia is the death penalty."
The guards stopped in their tracks and looked at each other. Then they looked at
the King. Seymour was sufficiently shielding his eyes.
The guards walked over to their King. "I'm sorry sire." Said one. "Rules is
They dragged the King out of the room kicking and screaming.
Seymour opened his eyes again to see Brittany pulling her clothes back on. "I
can't believe that worked!" He said.
Alota burbled to herself and clapped her hands. Crimson sparks swirled around
"Not again!" Seymour said. Then suddenly realised he wasn't close enough to her
to be sucked into the wormhole.
"Alota, no!" He shouted. But Alota had disappeared into a swirling red wormhole.
The wormhole faded quickly too, disappearing completely before Seymour could
jump into it.
"Where's she gone this time?" Seymour asked himself.
<tag Where has Alota gone? I've left this open so that she can come and meet
your character if you want. Maybe she'll lead you into trouble by opening up a
wormhole to another dimension? Or jumping you somewhere that you aren't supposed
to be? >