Danger Lester Phelps, Danger!

Who: Lester's Group (Apparently. See what happens when you take charge?)Where: The wreck of Blue DwarfWhen: Um... now? <SNIP>"Look!" yelled Micky "Daylight!" Jayne looked ahead, sure enough, they were skidding toward a huge rupture in the hull plating, they reached the breach in no time, shooting out into the forest and landing hard on top of something."Talk about lucky!" Micky exclaimed "We even got a soft landing!" "I SAY!" came a voice below them "Would you GET OFF ME!!" Jayne and Micky looked at each other, then at the soft ground. "Hi Seymour!" Jayne said. "Good catch!"</SNIP> The Ambassador struggled upright and regarded the battered couple with at first disdain, then concern. Remembering his etiquette, he led them away from the ship and made the appropriate introductions to the Queen and  Alota. He wondered why Micky was nudging Jayne when he proudly showed them his child but... anyway. 'And the rather miserable specimen over there, tinkering with the unmentionables of several deceased robots, I believe you already know. That is Lester Seventeen-Dot-Phelps.' 'Oh yeah?' Jayne said, 'what happened? Was he caught in the explosion? Soot comes off you know.' Seymour looked startled at the potentially racial slur and looked nervously in Lester's direction. He had fitted several components into a microwave and was currently screwing the microwave to the top of the portable television on its tracks. 'He's not Lester,' Jayne said. 'Don't you tell me this is a parralel universe guy either. I've been there, I've seen how it works. That's not Lester.' 'I'm afraid I don't understand,' Seymour stammered. 'He seems very convincingly Lester... there are physical differences of course but... well...' 'Parralel usses are just like us, aren't they,' Micky tried to give the impression he knew all about dimensional travel. 'We me our usses-' 'Usses?' Seymour asked. 'Yeah, usses. And you and her,' Micky stabbed a finger at Alota. They all looked the same as the usses from our universe. Well mostly. Even the ship,' Micky jerked a thumb at the wreckage, 'that's pretty convincing too.' 'You mean.. that's not our Blue Dwarf?' 'Nah, think we'd crash our own ship?' Micky said far too happily. 'We still have to fix it,' said a voice from behind Seymour. Lester was standing there and behind him loomed... a thing. For legs it had the caterpillar tracks of one of Holly's mobile units, its body was part monitor screen, part microwave and a veritable star of twinkling lights and gleaming sensors was suspended in what Micky was pretty sure was the sphere from a gumball machine. For arms, the assembled group noticed, it had the remains of two Skutters loosely welded on. 'Ladies, Gentleman, may I introduce Winzten. Winzten, say hello to the nice people,' Lester gestured to the mechanical monstrosity with a flourish. 'Kill me,' the robot droned painfully. 'Please... kill me now.' 'I'm still working on his personality,' Lester confessed with a minute amount of embarrassment. 'Winzten,' he said in a more commanding voice, 'initiate self-repair. I want you in tip-top shape as soon as possible.' 'But I'm a shambolic travesty, an affront to engineering,' Winzten wailed in his buzzing, electronic voice. 'Every movement hurts. I can't even look at something without pain coursing through my optical sensors.' 'How would you like to suffer in silence?' Lester asked amiably and the lumpy, misshapen robot trundled off into the wreckage, looking for more parts. 'Nice work,' Micky said. 'Yeah,' Jayne scowled, 'you're like Santa's Elves or something, making such jolly presents for the children.' 'In the time we had, it's the best I could do. We'll need him for our endeavour ahead.' 'Yes,' Seymour nodded, 'you said something about fixing it. You can't be suggesting we patch the Blue Dwarf back together?' 'If we have to. That,' Lester pointed at the hulk of the Blue Dwarf, 'that will need removing completely. Not one scrap of steel, or shard of plastic must be left behind when we finally leave. If we leave here.' 'Smegging hell,' Queen Brittany breathed. 'What for?' Micky asked. 'Time,' Jayne said, still scrutinising Lester intently, 'you're worried about established history right?' 'I couldn't be more worried if established history was a hedgehog superglued to Silverstone's track at the height of the forumla one season,' Lester fixed them all with a hard stare. This was important: 'I don't know about you but I have no wish to suddenly cease to exist on the basis that the Normans destroyed the world with nuclear technology.' Wolfgang had been considering this in dark, moody silence. Finally though, he felt he should say something: 'And just what do you intend to do about it?' His question came in a sneering, officious tone. Lester shrugged, 'I was hoping something would come up,' he confessed with an easy smile. Behind him the mounful robot tore open a bulkhead, disgorging a small collection of charred corpses onto the twisted ground. It rolled over the bodies to get at the electronic and mechanical goodies within this particular chunk of Blue Dwarf. 'Sadly, I'm not feeling at my best, right now,' he said, over the grisly crunching noises. <Tag the guys>Windows Live Messenger just got better. Find out more!

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