Pancakes racist rhetoric
Justin lay on the ground a short distance away, his pistol melted into a puddle of silver goo, with half a label on a piece of glass next to it. "GUNK" it said.
Rosette turned to face Rufus. "You are amazing..." she said.
Where: The Mollopod Greggs
When: After Rosette punched him
Justin woke up groggily, and realised a fat slug-like woman was trying to force feed him a sausage roll.
"Gnnnugggh!" He cried out, and spat out some pastry. "What are you doing?!"
The Mollopod woman slithered backwards. "Sorry, I thought it would help. When we Mollopods are unconscious, the smell and taste of food often wakes us up. This is Human food called a sausage roll. Do you like it?"
Justin looked around. "Where are Rufus and Rosette?"
"Oh they went away a few minutes ago deary." Said the woman. "They were holding hands, it was quite sweet. They might have gone to have sex. I'm really interested the way Humans have sex, is it true they do it in a bed?"
"Not all of the time." Justin said. "I once did it in a skip."
The woman gasped. "So we're not too different after all!" she said.
She turned and grabbed a list from the counter. "I'm also really interested in making Human food for the tourists we get. What else can you tell me about Humans, what do they like to eat?"
"Erm... chocolate... burgers...."
"So if I made chocolate burgers, would I get lots of interest?"
"Erm... maybe. Where did you say they went again?"
The Mollopod woman wrote down 'chocolate burgers' and looked back up at him. "Anything else?"
"Look I really need to go." Justin stood up and rubbed his jaw which still hurt from Rosette punching him. "She punched me. She really punched me!" He said. "I'm really starting to think she isn't a good choice for my Queen after all."
The Mollopod woman looked confused. "Queen? Do you mean Queen Brittany? She's our Queen too now, we have the same Queen which means we're great allies. The Humans and the Mollopods, this means we can all be great friends!" She beamed.
Justin looked at her disgusting slug-like body. "How can we be super friends if you don't even know that Humans don't like chocolate?"
The woman was silent. "But... but... we're trying. Most of us have stopped eating Humans now."
"Oh good!" Said Justin. "Then that means we definitely should be friends!" He said sarcastically. "Frankly, I think you're dangerous. You've got advanced technology and could wipe Humans out in a heartbeat, and you'd like that because you'd get a nice good meal out of it. Your entire species is dangerous!"
"But..." Said the Mollopod woman. "We just want to be friends."
Justin shook his head. "I don't like you. The only alien race I want to be friends with is the Hymenoptera."
The woman's fat brow furrowed. "The Hymenoptera? The evil race of insects who have advanced technology and could wipe Humans out in a heartbeat? They eat Humans too you know!"
Justin hadn't thought about this conversation before he'd got into it. "Erm... well... if you put it that way..." He thought about what she'd just said, and was about to realise the ridiculousness of liking the Hymenoptera. Instead he turned to her and shouted "Shut up! Just shut up! You don't know anything about the Hymenoptera! When Humans finally ally themselves with the Hymenoptera we'll destroy you and your stupid planet with its thousands of restaurants!"
The woman was silent.
"And then we won't need Brittany as a Queen either. I'll be the king, and Rosette will be my Queen!"
"That woman who just punched you?" Said the woman.
"But she just punched you. How are you going to marry her?"
"I'll cross that bridge when I come to it." Justin said. "But probably by force."
The woman had clearly had enough. "Okay, get out." She shouted, and pushed Justin out of her shop with a large salami. "And don't come back you racist, insect-loving idiot!"
Justin walked the streets of the Mollopod city for a while, and noticed there was some commotion going on at the stadium where the commonwealth games were being held. He tried to push to the front of the crowd but couldn't, so he watched the televisions in a shop front window.
The pod came to a complete stop, at the feet of three vary perplexed looking humans. The lid
opened, and John stepped out bleading on the ground said "Hymenoptera", and crashed to the floor, unconscious.
Justin saw it all on the news channel which was being shown in the shop front window. The mysterious stranger who crash landed in the stadium, and the first word as he emerged: "Hymenoptera".
"Why Hymenoptera?" Justin asked himself. "Does he know something about them?"
Justin realised he had to find out. He turned around to see the police drag the man out of the stadium and take him to a public teleporter pad. "Hospital." They announced, and they de materialised into particles.
"That looks like fun." Said Justin, and followed them. He stepped onto the shiny pad which was in the middle of the street. "Hospital?" He said, and vanished.
Where: Mollopod Hospital
When: Short time after
The room where the stranger was being held was guarded by a fat Mollopod with a massive gooey moustache. "I hear there's a Greggs in town that sells chocolate burgers." Justin said as he approached the guard.
"What! I love Human food!" said the man and squelched away as fast as he could. Justin grinned and opened the door.
Inside was a man who looked mostly Human apart from he was a weird grey colour, a bit like a black and white photo. The man looked up when Justin entered.
"Don't worry, I'm a friend." Justin said. "My name is Justin."
"My name's John Bromin." Said the alien. "Where am I?"
"You crashed on the planet Mollopod, allies of the Humans." Justin said. "So... tell me what you know about the Hymenoptera, I'm a fan."