Re: Still After D.I.C.CPosted by
Posted: Jun 8, 2010, 3:23pm
"Green blood?" Jayne said as Monsoon continued.
"He's a bug." was all Rosette needed to say, before pulling the trigger on her
"We need to get this body to Keto.... He'll be able to make sure." She said, as
the two more squeemish men entered the room...
Who: Rosette, Rufus, Seymour, Jayne and Queen Brittany
Where: Queen's bedroom, Mollopod planet
When: After Monsoon was killed
"Oh dear god!" Seymour shouted and clasped the palms of his hands to his cheeks.
He stood staring at the sight of the dead body of Eddie Monsoon on the floor,
green blood pouring out of his head. "That is just revolting!" He said.
"Yes." Said the Queen. "And it's staining my carpet. Can you take him away
"Very good idea ma'am." Seymour agreed, and glared at Jayne.
"What?" She shot back.
"Well as the senior Security Officer here, I think you should take care of
"And I will!" She shot back, hating Seymour's condescending attitude and
She took out here phone and called the ship. A few seconds later she slapped her
hand on her forehead. "Smeg. Of course, the ship's communication is down!"
Seymour shifted his accusing look to Rufus. "I thought you were going to fix
"I-I-I am!" Rufus said. "I came h-h-here to get some D.I.C.C."
"That's no excuse!" Seymour scolded.
Rosette moved close and held Rufus' hand. "Don't worry hun, nobody's forcing you
to get any D.I.C.C now."
"Okay okay!" Rufus said. "I'll just get a small D.I.C.C, it shouldn't be too
hard to find."
Nobody said anything else on the matter.
"Okay lets get this body back to the Starbug." Jayne grabbed Eddie's legs and
asked Seymour to get his arms.
"Absolutely not!" Seymour shouted. "Why do I get the bleeding end? I don't want
filthy Hymenoptera blood on me!" He looked at Rosette. "No offence." he said.
Rosette didn't say anything, but folded her arms.
"Fine. I'll get his arms, you get his legs."
Seymour complained, but did as he was told. They picked up the body and started
dragging it out of the room.
"So... is he a Hymenoptera?" Rosette asked, watching as the thick green blood
leaked out of him.
"It's h-h-hard to say without the proper s-s-scientific t-t-tools." Rufus said.
"But do you r-r-remember Captain J-J-Jed Calvert? We didn't know HE was half
Hymenoptera until someone shot him and made him bleed. He had g-g-green blood."
Seymour dropped his end, letting the extra weight almost pull Jayne to the
floor. "Of course!" Said Seymour. "Captain Calvert was an Alcoholic, and he
drank to keep the Hymenoptera side of him from taking over. Alcohol is deadly to
the Hymenoptera, and Eddie was Irish so is clearly an alcoholic too!"
"That's very racist." Said Rosette.
Seymour's eyes went narrow and he looked at Rosette suspiciously. "Whatever
happened to your Hymenoptera side? You turned into a full were-hymie! But then
suddenly you're back to normal with no explanation?"
The Queen radiately stepped away from Rosette. "What? Is this true? Are you a
"No of course not!" Rosette laughed. "And I prefer the term 'Hymenthrope'." She
"So you could turn back into one at any time?" Brittany said again, bending over
slowly to pick up the axe which Eddie had attacked her with.
"W-W-Wait!" Said Rufus, and tried to pull the axe off her. "She's not evil!"
"Let go of me!" cried the Queen. "I need to defend myself against her in case
she goes mental like that other nobhead did."
"She's not mental!" Rufus said, still battling to take the axe from her. But
Brittany had a good grip on it.
"You two stop it!" Shouted Jayne, who had picked up the body but now dropped it
again. "Rosette doest have to prove anything. She's a member of the Blue Dwarf
security force now, she's already proven she's useful. Now PUT THE AXE DOWN!"
Brittany pulled hard on the axe and it came loose in Rufus' hands. Brittany held
it firmly in her grip. Feeling the weapon gave her an idea. "Lets cut her and
see what colour is it! I want to see her green blood!"
"NO!" Shouted Jayne, but Rosette calmly stepped forward. "Okay, okay!" She said,
and everyone looked at her. "Give me the axe."
After a few moments of hesitation, Brittany slowly handed the axe over to
Rosette. Rosette took the weapon and drew it across her arm, causing everyone to
cringe. Seymour fainted on the corpse.
A line of blood dribbled to the surface. Red blood, as normal as from any human.
The blood ran down her arm and dripped to the floor, before Rufus handed her a
tissue to press against it.
"See?" She said. "Normal red blood."
Without another word, they picked up the corpse and took it out of the room.
They decided to take it to one of Mollopod's teleportation pads after a
passer-by saw them dragging a dead body and instantly vomited.
They laid the body of Edward Monsoon on the transporter pad, and Rufus started
pressing buttons on the control interface. "I can't use this. It's written in
Mollopese." He said.
Everyone looked at Queen Brittany.
"You've lived here for over a year." Jayne said. "You must have learned some of
"Only the words for types of alcohol." Brittany grinned.
Rufus shrugged and pressed some buttons. The body disappeared.
"So where's it gone?" Jayne asked.
<Tag to anyone really, where has the body gone? Can you think of anywhere funny
for it to turn up? If not just continue as normal! Maybe someone else is going
to try attacking the Queen?>