Pancake in: The Slug and Phallus
Who: Justin Pancake
Where: A sex bar on Mollopod called the "Slug and Phallus"
When: After teleporting out of the hospital
Justin grinned from ear to ear when he arrived at the bar. Dozens of people
there seemed to be having a good time, drinking and dancing, and watching the
Justin was very pleased to see that there were not only fat Mollopods there, but
also some sexy human girls too. He was surprised by this, as they seemed so far
His view of a particularly sexy brunette was eclipsed by a humongous Mollopod
woman. She squirmed over to him, leaving a sticky trail of goo across the floor.
Where she'd come from. She had a sickening amount of bulbous nodules on her
plump body, and Justin wasn't sure which ones were supposed to be her breasts,
and which were just rolls of flab.
She asked him if he wanted her to dance for him.
"Sorry, I like some insects more than others. I prefer arachnids to gastropods."
He said. "Could you send a Human girl over? That brunette one?"
He was worried if she'd think him racist, but seemed pleased to. "Yes dear,
that's fine. I don't like Humans either." she said, and walked off. As she did
she added "...Unless they're in a stew with dumplings."
"What was that?" Justin asked.
"Oh nothing." She said. "I asked do you like her dumplings?" And she pointed
with a stubby arm over to the brunette that Justin had his eyes on.
"Yes very much!" he said. "They're better than yours!" he pointed to her
collection of slimy bulges.
The slug trudged off and the brunette Human came over to him. She immediately
started to gyrate on his lap.
"So..." Said Justin, who wasn't sure if he should be making small talk or just
enjoying this sensual experience.
"Where are you from?"
The girl stopped dancing. "I'm not telling you where I live, freak!" she shouted
"No! No! I was just making conversation. I thought it was unusual to see a Human
in a Mollopod bar so far from Earth."
"Well the Mollopods do have a Human Queen. They're part of the commonwealth of
"Yes..." Said Pancake slowly. "But how did you get here? Travelling this far
from Earth is expensive."
"I used to be on a JMC starship." She said, sitting down next to him, preparing
to tell her life story. "It was the JMC Khaki Dwarf. We delivered a shipment of
ore to Mollopod just after the Queen was coronated here. The Mollopods really
like all that Royal tradition and stuff, there were parties in the streets. I
got really drunk and started dancing, and the owner of this bar, a rich Mollopod
called 'Blub', saw me and told me he would give me triple my salary if I stayed
here. So I did."
Justin nodded. Then he looked around at all the customers. They were all fat
Mollopods, leaving sticky trails where they walked.
"What's it like dancing for these..." he blew out his cheeks and imitated a fat
person, and brought his arms close to his chest imitating the tiny arms the
The stripper laughed. "Mollopods aren't that bad. Occasionally one gets carried
away and covers me in his goo though..."
"Yikes!" Justin said. "But I suppose that's a danger strippers everywhere have
to worry about!"
She giggled, and then shuddered. Then she paused and smiled warmly at Justin.
"My name's Chloe." She said.
"Justin." He shook her hand, fixing his eyes on hers and looking deeply into
A happy feeling overcame him. He could tell that she fancied him. She was the
first girl in a long time to actually pay attention to him and not dismiss him
as a gross, immature pervert.
This was either because they were surrounded by far grosser, sluglike perverts,
or he was the first Human she'd seen in months. He realised that if he played
his cards right, he'd be getting lucky tonight.
That was as long as he didn't say anything stupid. But unfortunately this was
Justin Pancake, and saying stupid things was in his nature.
"So, do you like the Hymenoptera?" was the first stupid thing he said.
Her pretty face screwed up. "No! Of course not! Those evil bugs killed some of
my best friends on the Khaki Dwarf."
"Oh." Said Justin. "Its just that... that... they're not THAT evil."
A silence fell between them.
"Not THAT evil?" She argued. "They murdered my friends and slurped out their
brains while I watched. I HATE them!"
"Oh." Said Justin, trying not to show that he'd been offended. "Can't you admire
their perfection... their beauty?"
"No" said Chloe the stripper.
"Everything about them is evolved perfectly, making them the most awesome
killing machine in the universe." he said. "They are born to kill. They can't do
There was another awkward silence.
Justin stood up and prepared to leave. "I guess you think I'm weird for admiring
the Hymenoptera? I wouldn't blame you? Everyone else thinks I'm a freak."
Chloe thought for a moment, and then said "No I don't."
Justin was surprised. Especially when she took his hand and urged him to sit
down with her again.
"Once when I was young I had a cat called Milly and a hamster called Dave. One
day Milly the cat ate poor little Dave. I was distraught. How could Milly do
that? Dave was so cute!"
Justin stroked Chloe's hand as she told the sad story.
"I was angry at Milly for weeks. She'd killed my pet hamster, and I thought she
was evil. I finally realised that she wasn't evil at all, she was just following
her natural instinct. She couldn't help it."
"So I suppose..." she said. "That's like the Hymenoptera. It's their instinct to
kill. They're not evil. So it's not their fault they killed my friends."
Justin nodded. He was glad that finally someone wasn't disgusted by his love of
the Hymenoptera. He looked deep into Chloes eyes.
She was his dream girl.
<Anyone else want to jump in here and take Chloe as their NPC? >