Justin shoots the Queen
Brittany and Seymour stared at each other, and then Brittany ducked to the
floor. As she did, a bullet smashed through a window and embedded itself into
the back of her throne.
"Some smegger just shot my throne!" She screamed.
"You almost got assassinated!" Seymour shouted, feeling panic pump through him.
There was a crash as the window shattered completely, and one of the Queen's
bodyguards (a fat Mollopod slug dressed like a Beefeater) was thrown in, dead.
Who: Seymour, Queen Brittany and Justin Pancake
Where: Queen's Throne room, Mollopod
When: Just after the Queen's window broke
Seymour stood up and dragged the Queen into the centre of the room, away from
the window. Using an impressive display of masculinity (unusual for him) he
shielded her from danger.
Something metal was thrown in from the smashed window, and it bounced onto the
"A grenade!" Shouted the Queen. "Duck!"
But the device wasn't a grenade. It was a Mollopod teleportation node. The
Mollopods were such fat and lazy individuals that they couldn't ever be bothered
to move quickly. So when they needed to be somewhere in a hurry they used
teleportation. The teleportation node allowed them to materialise wherever the
A Mollopod appeared in a sparkle of molecules, and held a gun up to Seymour and
"Freeze!" He shouted.
"But I'm your Queen!" Said Brittany. "Put your gun away!"
The Mollopod didn't move, instead his eyes narrowed as if he detested the Queen
with a passion. "Just Freeze!" Said the Mollopod. "I'll kill you if you move."
"Didn't you hear me? I'm your Queen, your monarch! Your planet is part of the
Commonwealth of Nations. We're allies."
"Yes. Stand down." Seymour said, slightly less bravely.
Just then, several more Mollopod entered the room in the same way. Metal
teleportation nodes clattered onto the ground, and a Mollopod beamed in,
pointing their guns at Seymour and the Queen.
"Seymour, what's happening? I thought the Mollopods liked me?" Brittany asked.
"I'm not sure Ma'am. I think the Mollopods are rebelling against you!" Said
The first Mollopod squirmed himself forward on his worm-like tail. "Actually,"
he said. "Most Mollopods do want you as Queen."
"Oh thats good. So what are you smegheads doing?" She asked quickly.
The slug smiled. "We represent a group who want things to go back to the way
things were. We don't like being allies with Humans, and we certainly don't like
having a Human Queen."
"Oh." Said Brittany.
"But we do like Humans." The slug continued. "We like to eat them."
"Ah." Said Seymour. "I think we're in trouble."
The Mollopod nodded.
Just then another person beamed into the throne room, the only difference was
this one was Human. It was Justin Pancake.
Pancake looked nervous, but he wasted no time in raising his bazukoid pistol up
towards Seymour and Brittany.
"Pancake?" Seymour asked. "Aren't you Mr Pancake from Blue Dwarf?" He hadn't met
the man very many times, but he'd heard people complain about what a total twat
Pancake held the pistol towards Brittany, his hands shaking.
Then he fired.
Queen Brittany was struck in the stomach by the bazukoid blast. Her midsection
exploded in a bloody mess, which splattered over Seymour and Justin. Droplets of
her red blood also fell onto the Mollopods which were surrounding then, which
quickly licked their faces to taste the Human blood. It tasted good.
"I'm so sorry." Said Justin, as Seymour stood over Brittany, watching helplessly
as his precious Queen bled all over the floor.
<To be continued!>