Pillow talk

<snip>
"Has the woman been taken to my personal chamber?" the Hitcher asked with glee.
"Yes, my lord." the guard responded. "She has been prepared for you."
"mmmm!" the Hitcher said. "Excellent, excellent! You've done well."
</snip>

Cass awoke some time later to find to her horror that she was manacled to a rusting iron bed, and laid on a stained and stinking mattress in a dimly lit room, festooned with a variety of cruel looking instruments of torture
Worse still, she found that while she had been unconscious, someone had removed most of her clothes and had dressed her in some tawdry sexy schoolgirl outfit, replete with a short skirt, a too tight blouse and even a stripy school tie
“Wha...?” she croaked, frowning as she looked around her surroundings, worrying for a weird moment that she was eighteen again, and back in that house in London
Other than the disturbing collection of torture apparatus decorating the room, there was little else remarkable about the rest of the decrepit and rotting furnishings – just some moth eaten drapes, an armoire and a cracked and stained mirror on the ceiling above the bed
The woman reflected back in it looked pale and worried
What the hell had happened, she wondered – there had been some creepy old guy singing his stupid shitty song and then everyone, for reasons beyond her comprehension, had collapsed
It was just a smegging song!
Why was she here?
Pulling experimentally against the manacles chaining her to the headboard, the iron bedframe squeaked alarmingly beneath her as she moved
“Ah good, yer awake!”
The voice made Cass jump, and she twisted to look over her shoulder at its source - the old green cockney geezer, standing framed in the doorway
“What do you want?” she demanded, struggling against the chains to pull herself up into a sitting position
"My oh my" the Hitcher breathed, ignoring her question "Look at them legs of yours - Don't you just look good enough to eat!?"
"I look smegging rediculous" Cass snapped, reflexively curling her legs beneath her "Now why am I tied up here?"
"Well, me gal..." the Hitcher ambled across the room to unhook a wickedly sharp looking meat cleaver from the wall "Since yer mates are going to be busy for a while sorting them forest demons out, I thought I'd come and introduce meself - Get to know each other a bit better..."
"Forest demons?"
"That’s right sweetheart" the Hitcher smirked as he strolled over towards her on the bed "Well, they're not demons per se, you understand, but I don't like 'em, so I calls 'em demons"
"So what are they?" Cass frowned apprehensively as the Hitcher came to a halt in front of her
"You sure like to ask a lot of questions, don'cha?" he mused, idly inspecting the edge on the meat cleaver "They're the indigenous population, girl - Or at least they was here when me and me shipmates crashed down 'ere more'n a hundred year back"
"You've been here that long?" Cass was amazed
"Aye me gal, but them demons keeps killing me crew - Course it would help if we didn't eat them, but you know how it is – A man needs ‘is meat!”
“I can only imagine” Cass sniffed “So where do we fit in with this?”
“What did I say about asking too many questions?” the Hitcher growled dangerously, the meat cleaver flashing in the torchlight as he waved it in front of her face
“Okay. Sorry” Cass said quickly, holding her hands up placatively with a rattle of her manacle chains
“That’s better girl...” the Hitcher nodded slowly and abruptly turned to sit down next to her on the edge of bed, the springs protesting beneath his weight “Much better. Now – I’m sending yer mates out to deal with that tribe o’ them demons - To be honest I don’t expect ‘em to do much good, but it don’t really matter; if they kills ‘em all I’m a winner, and if as they don’t: Well...” he spread his arms wide and smiled evilly “I get to keep me new girlfriend without having to kill ‘em all when they get back”
“Your what!?”
“You heard me darlin’”
“I...” Cass faltered, suddenly acutely aware of her situation
“Now” the Hitcher breathed, leaning in close to hold the meat cleaver up against her neck under her chin “What I’m wondering is: Does my new girl go all the way on the first date, or am I going to have to rape the shit out of her?”

<tag-tbc >
Anyone fancy being a knight in shining armour, or is Cass going to have to kill this odious creep herself?
</tag-tbc >

< Prev : The Hitcher's Guide to the Galaxy Next > : Well that wasn't expected