[JMC_Blue_Dwarf] Hello Jilly
Major Frank Harris
Major Harris settled back into the chair behind the desk, there was a loud squeaking every time he moved and it was really starting to get on his nerves and he muttered. "Bet the Captain doesn't have to put up with a bloody squeaking chair!"
He arrived late, after most of the other had arrived at 1900 hours he had arrived at 2015.
"Hey!" Came a disembodied female voice.
Harris groaned and clicked a button on his watch, the image of a woman with long red hair appeared on the screen mounted in the wall opposite of his desk.
"It's about time, Dave." She moaned.
"My name isn't Dave, Jill!" Harris snapped. "It's Harris!"
"Oh, stop moan, Darren." Jill told him. "How long were you going to keep me in that watch?!"
"You are bloody obsessed with the letter D!" Harris snapped.
"Oh, that's good from someone who's addicted to chewing gum." Jill replied.
"I should of let you be rubbed!" Harris said.
"Go on then, I've got a itch behind my left ear." Jill told him.
Harris groaned and put his head in his hands. "Why the hell did I decide to save you?"
"Because you are in love with me and want to have my downloads." Jill commented.
Harris gave Jill a dirty look.
Jill was the computer from his last ship who was meant to have the IQ of 40,00 but only appeared to have the IQ of twenty gym teachers instead and she was about as insane as Harris was after her core program had became corrupted. It was then decided to delete her but he had to save her for god knows what reasons and kept her with him ever since. She did provide to be useful sometimes, but rarely.
"Jill, see if you can bring up the captain's and first officer's records." Harris told her. "And do it quietly, I don't want you getting caught!"
"Oh, and I thought you didn't care about me." Jill told him.
"I don't." Harris replied.
Jill stuck her tongue out at Harris and then her image disappeared.
Harris began to drum his fingers against the desk. This mission was doing to be hell he could feel it. This or jail, at least with jail you could get out but depending on how lost the Red Dwarf was, he could be struck here forever and with the deranged computer, he could be driven over the edge.
Jill reappeared and told him. "Got them and you're not going to like it!"
"Why?" Harris asked, dreading the answer.
"Captain William Cannon has served on two other ship before and by the end of his command on those ships they needed some major repairs." Jill explained. "I also took a goosie at his last two psychiatric reports."
"And?!" Harris demanded. 'Took a goosie' Harris throught shaking his head.
"The Captain got this posting because command throught it would be more relaxed then most of the other posts." Jill explained. "If he was stressed out too much he could go over the edge."
"And Commander Nipels?" Harris asked.
"The Captain and the Commander went to the JMC together until the Captain was offered a ship straight out of training while the Commander was offered a much lower posting." Jill told him. "The Commander was responsible for setting up a independent state for those terrorist Furbys."
"Should have nuked the bloody lot of them." Harris muttered. "Good work, Jill."
"I'm doing back in the watch. Aren't I." Jill commented.
"Yep." Harris answered before tapping the button on his watch and Jill was transferred to the watch.
"Just remove that hair piece of chewed gum before you put you hands in your pockets." Jill told him from the watch face.
"Was looking for that." Harris commented and removed the piece of gum from his pocket and started to chew it.