[Classified Ultra-Purple Secret] - Report on result of USTSN of Prisoner #14590

Report Begins

The result of the first successful USTSN on a non-human species may be called a success. The subject has almost has acheived an almost 99% removal from the space-time continium. We belive this remaining 1% is due to two factors. The first being the subject known as Mini-Phil,who we have still been unable to locate, despite our best efforts. All signs indicate that he is somewhere in this facility. (Note:Order some goats and smut mags to use as "bait")

The subject appears to be on freindly terms still with many of the crew of the Blue Dwarf. He was observeed having a discussion with nother of the female crew at breakfast. This behavior is to be encouraged, despite hispast records as we belive it will distract him from his current situation.

Something else to be aware of. The subject, being a gelf has rather unusual tripple helix DNA. The tripple helix is rare enough, but on further examiniation sever properties about it are noticed.

1 - This configuation is clearly artificial and advanced
2 - Flaws have been deliberatly introduced into the DNA - Why?
3 - DNA reacts oddly in the prescence of drinks like vodka and beer
4 - Conversly, the DNA acts even stranger if even the trace amounts of alchaol in the subjects cells is removed.

1 - The subject is to be exposed to as many sources and variations of alchaol as possible. Start with the weakest and work up to something that could clean the dirt of a mining ship cadmium core. We belive there is no upper limit
2 - We must ocate the one known as Mini-Phil. His very existance is a danger and the USTSN can be reveresed as long as he is alive as well.
3 - Offers of a "kebab"appear to keep the subject compliant. Find out what one of these things are and get some, along with a substance called "curry".

Report Ends


DO NOT LET THE SUBJECT GET THEIR HANDS ON ABSINTHE - THIS IS IMPERITIVE! Exposeing the cells to this particular drink cau..{the report ends at this point, the message garbled}

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