Abstinence: Works (almost) 100% of the time.

Jacky awoke feeling refreshed and confident, as though he could take on any challenge.

Actually no, that other one. The exact opposite of that.

Jacky was terrified to see a large alien resembling a money frog standing in the corner of the room staring at him.

"Welcome to awake." the alien greeted.

"...Hi." Jacky said, trying not to antagonize the creature.

"You comfort?" the alien said. "Com-fortable." the alien corrected itself.

Jacky paused. "Well, I... I guess I'm thirsty."

"Thirst?" the alien repeated and began thinking it over. "Thirst. Oo-waa-turr."

"Water?"

"Wa-ter. Yes. You want?"

"Yes. Thank you." Jacky said. Things were going surprisingly well.

the alien handed Jacky a small cube, likely this civilization's equivalent of a cup. Jacky sipped from it.

"So, uh..." Jacky began getting comfortable with this alien. He seemed fairly nice, once you got past the prisoner thing. "What, er..."

"Wat-er?" the alien repeated.

"No, no." Jacky said. "What's the deal? I mean, why have I been contained here? For what purpose?" Jacky realized he needed to use more clear language.

"Many tests for ancients." the alien said. "You are ancient."

"Ancient?" Jacky repeated. "What are the ancients?"

"You. Your people. We learn of you." the alien explained. Jacky began to understand.

"Oh, I get it." Jacky said. "But you guys seem pretty advanced. Pretty intelligent. What do you guys need us for?"

"More people."

Jacky's eyes widened. "More people? There are more people than us here? More humans? er, Ancients?" Jacky couldn't believe there was a chance-- the human race? Alive?

"No. We make more people." the alien elaborated.

"Oh." Jacky said, disappointed.

Jacky spit out his water then, suddenly.

"Wait, what?!" he shrieked.

"We have your code." the alien presented a vial filled with a gooey liquid to Jacky with the alien equivalent of a smile.

"That's my... that's... my..." Jacky said, beginning to hyperventilate. "And you're going to... with... a..."

"Your code with other code. Make new."

"I-I..." Jacky could hardly speak. "Is that all of it?"

"Little bit."

"That is not a little bit!" he yelled.

"Please, do not anger. Your help great cause." the alien argued. "We defeat hive, your people begin! Again!"

The alien had a point. Jacky was still panicking.

"You become procreator of army."

The alien had no idea why this made the ancient even more upset. Wasn't procreation a joyous event? Ancients were very odd indeed.

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