Cattin Around

Meanwhile in a Galaxy Far Far Away:




Sandy Bottoms

are still on their intrepid journey to find and rebuild the Calamar Homeworld.
It is a long perilous journey full of danger, hardship and random acts of stupidity. When we last left our heroes Franky tricked Jaxx into a hot pepper eating contest against a race of Iguana people in order to win free supplies they badly needed. After a gruesome win Jaxx and some industrial strength Antacids Jaxx accidentally activated the Half Sandworm-Half Human bodyguard/love slave called Sandy Bottoms. After being trapped with Sandy Jaxx was forced to dedicate all his free time to training to avoid spending time with her. In the meantime the supplies began to get lower with one extra mouth to feed.

Over the next several months, Franky made more progress with his new Calamar body using his new equipment and supplies to upgrade his new body. Through hard work and a lot of luck Franky had made a few good breakthroughs in his research and got so excited he turned on some music and blew off some steam dancing.

Franky’s jam

During that time Jaxx had become even more focused on his training in order to avoid the nonstop advances of Sandy. For several months she had been wearing skimpy clothing around him and constantly trying to join him in the bath or his bed despite his pleas for her to stop. Jaxx was doing his best to stay loyal to his beloved wife Evelina. However after Sandy’s imprinting to Jaxx she had a strong desire to win him over as her mate. The only way to avoid her constant seductive attacks was to train as much as possible. Since Franky was very strict on both of them during training Sandy was not allowed to hit on Jaxx when he was training. As Franky was parading like a dancing queen, Jaxx and Sandy had their concentration broken by the loud music.

Sandy said, “Wow he sure is quite a site huh master?”

Jaxx replied, “Uh yeah, Master is sumthin alright and stop calling me master. My name is Jaxx.”

She said, “So wanna grab some food and take a bath? I’ll wash your back master.”

He looked at her like a deer in headlights as he answered, “Uh I’ll pass on tha bath ok. Like let’s just get some grub with Master mmmk?”

She gave a devilish smile as she replied, “As you wish master. I’ll wait till you change your mind.”

He sighed in relief as they met up with Franky and grabbed a quick bite to eat. As they talked to Franky about his progress they noticed the food supply was getting low. Adding Sandy to the crew cut into their food supply despite what they acquired from the last station they looted. Franky then decided to run some scans for possible food supplies out in space. While looking for more food they landed on an inhabited planet with what appeared to be a settlement of humanoid cats. The Cats seemed to be descendant from the humanoid Cat race that left the Red Dwarf and settled down on the planet to make a life for themselves. After they landed near a forest the three leave the ship and walk around to see what they can find. While walking around, they ran into a female Cat named Ariel heading out of the forest and talked to her.
Ariel Onatopp

After some introductions Ariel told them they were not far her place in the forest. As it turned out her sister was the local religious healer and she was training under her. Ariel also mentioned that she is heading into town to do some shopping and she could show them where the small city was. She even offered to guide them to the places they were looking for in exchange for helping her carry her shopping bags. Franky volunteered Jaxx to carry her bags while he did his errands. Sandy quickly objected, but Franky kept Sandy with him so Ariel could borrow Jaxx as part of his diplomatic training since he needed to improve drastically. After they get into the small city they are amazed by how nice and simple the city is. In fact the city resembles a futuristic version of a medieval design. The city has signs everywhere and merchants are constantly trying to hustle business. Eventually Franky takes Sandy to take care of his errands as Ariel borrows Jaxx for some heavy lifting. As Jaxx follows Ariel all over town carrying her supplies he sighed as he had to smile and bear with it. Ariel seemed happy to have Jaxx as her packing mule as she was buying a lot of supplies.

Ariel looked at Jaxx as she said, “I really appreciate you helping out Jaxx. Normally I have to make several trips to get everything. Now I can do all my shopping all in one trip.”

Jaxx replied, “Uh yeah sure.”

Ariel asked, “So tell me were those ladies your girlfriend and sister?”

He replied, “Huh? What? Oh hahahahahaha. Naw big one is my Master Monk and the other is like my fellow apprentice in training.”

She smirked as she said happily, “Oh really. That’s good to hear.”

He was confused as he said, “Wut? Huh?”

She smiled as she said, “Master huh? So you and that redhead are traveling space and training what exactly?”

He nervously rubbed the back of his head as he said, “Oh hahaha like we are doin Calamar Monk training.”

She asked, “What’s a Calamar Monk?”

He answered, “Huh? Oh yeah well like fix problems with words or fighting.”

She smirks and said, “Wow so you must train a lot since you’re so big and strong huh?”

He chuckled like an idiot as he replied, “Uh yeah but, I like totally still got a long way ta go and stuff.”

As they continued to walk around Jaxx noticed he was being watched by many of the locals. He figured it was because he stood out since he was so big and not a Cat. Then while shopping they ran into Ariel’s sister the Priestess Arien.

Arien said, “Oh hello Ariel who is your friend?” He’s kind of cute.”

Ariel replied, “Oh this is Jaxx he and his friends are just in town to do some shopping.”

He nervously smiled at the rather stunning woman in a red dress decorated with gold and gems. She looked like she was eyeing him like he was the last desert in the pantry. It made him feel very nervous as he saw her eyes staring him down.

Arien said, “Well now I hope you weren’t planning on keeping him all to yourself dear sister. Even though he is not a Cat he is still a male and a rather strong one at that.”

Ariel responded in an irritated manner, “Sis back off he’s not from here and he came with others.”

Arien smirked and said, “Are they men?”

Ariel answered, “No but…”

Arien grinned like a Cheshire cat as she said, “Too bad…..for you. I’m the elder so I get first dibs remember.”

Ariel hissed at her sister and said, “Back off sis!”

Arien reached out to grab Jaxx by the arm seductively as she said, “Hello big boy, why settle for my little sister when you can have her big sister.”

Arien puffed out her large chest as she giggled looked at her sister’s smaller chest. Ariel hissed at her sister’s comment and quickly grabbed Jaxx by the hand and pulled him away as she ran off.

Arien hissed back as she pointed at her little sister and yelled you can run but you can’t hide sis. I will find you and take him back by force!”

Jaxx was confused by what was going on but didn’t feel like hanging around for an explanation as he ran away with Ariel as he hug the shopping bags. The two ran hard and fast through town they were getting a lot of attention. Arien was chasing after them as she yelled out loud, “Come back here with that male sis!” These words echoed through the small city and caught the ears of all the locals. Before he knew it they were being chased by a lot of female Cats and to make things worse the number of pursuing women increased as they passed them by. A cold shiver ran up his spine as he looked back to see the scary lustful looks of his female feline pursuers. The two ran for their lives all across town till Ariel managed to lose them while hiding in one of her private hiding places. As they hid in the abandoned basement they could hear the loud chatter and footsteps from the other Cats in pursuit. After a while they heard them leave and waited in silence for a good while before they could talk.

He asked, “Umm like wuts going on? Why are they like mad at me?”

She responded, “Mad isn’t the word I would choose. More like lust big guy.”

He looked confused as he asked, “Huh? I like don’t get it.”

She sighed as she ran her fingers through her hair as she said, “I’m sorry Jaxx I should have warned you first but I didn’t want to scare you off. When you were walking around did you notice any males in the area?”

He replied, “Uhhhhhh………….now that ya mention it………no.”

She frowned as she said, “You see a long time ago our colony was hit by a disease that killed most of the male Cats over several decades. As their numbers dwindled the females became more and more desperate to protect our race. They eventually became more and more aggressive in finding fertile males in order to breed more males. Any female who gave birth to a male would receive blessings from our church God Cloister the Stupid, as well as live a more comfortable life. The problem however got worse as our males are dying off at an early age and more females were being born than males. Now many of the females are desperate to breed outside our race so they will enslave any male they can get their hands on. Your two female friends are safe but you are in grave danger now.”

She looked at him with a hint of sadness as she said, “I’m sorry you had to see what we have been reduced to. I’m not proud of it but we don’t seem to have much of a choice these days.”

He could see she was bummed out and he didn’t know what to say at this moment, especially after she helped him escape. He could only imagine the look on Eve’s face if he let those women get ahold of him. Just the thought of Eve being mad at him scared his very core. To make things worse he wasn’t sure how to explain to her that Franky was a guy as well, but he figured he would keep quiet about the topic. As he saw Ariel looking depressed he knew he had to say something to her.

He pondered for a bit before he said, “Like it’s cool and all. I’ve totally been through much more heinous stuff before. In fact I like can’t member to many times where some wicked robot or mega monster or gnarly dudes and dudettes trying to pop a cap in my melon.”

She replied, “Your very sweet Jaxx. I wish…….I wish we met under better circumstances.”

Then she looked away to see if it was clear, but mainly to hide her blushed face. After waiting a few more minutes they made a break for the forest and head back to her house to rest up. While they were there he finally was able to put down the groceries and shake the blood back into his arms.

He said, “Wow those babes are totally serious. I’m like kinda wiggin out and stuff. Are ya like sure they won’t find us here?”

She shook her head no as she said, “Unfortunately it’s a matter of time before my sister comes back, so we need to move out in a few minutes.”

He sighed as he asked, “So like where should we hide then?”

She ran her fingers through her hair as she tried to think. Then she looked at him and smirked as she said, “We could hide in your ship.”

He pondered the idea as he said, “Well I guess, like since no one knows where it is and they haven’t seen it yet.”

She said, “Yes we could wait for your friends to come back while we hide.”

He looked at her eager face as she was packing a few things in her backpack as he said, “Ummm like I don’t wanna get ya in anymore trouble so I like could just go by myself if that is cool.”

She looked shocked and disappointed as she said, “But I have to go. It’s too dangerous if I stay.”

He gave her a confused look as he said, “Huh? How so? I like only thought they wuz after me?”

She paused for a moment as she thought for a moment and said, “If they find me they will make me talk and then they can find you.”

He nervously rubbed the back of his head as he chuckled and said, “Oh yeah I didn’t think about that. By the way why are you pack your stuff?”

She said, “Well we don’t know how long we will be hiding so we may need some supplies.”

He smirked as he said, “Wow you’re totally smart and stuff.”

She blushed as she replied, “You think so?....... You’re the first to say that to me. Usually my sister nags me to be a better apprentice and says I am useless.”

Again he nervously rubbed the back of his head as he chuckled and said, “Don’t sweat it Ms. Ariel my Master can be a bit scary and pushy too, but like he does it to make me work harder and stuff. If they didn’t care they would like just bail on us.”

She sighed as she said, “Yeah I guess you’re right, but the problem is that I don’t want to be like her. I want to find my own path, but she won’t let me.”

He sighed as he said, “That is a most bogus situation. Like maybe it will get better in time.”

She smiled at him as she nodded and said, “I’m sure it will.”

After packing her belongings and a lot of food they took a long confusing route to the ship through the forest to throw off any tracking skills the other cats might have. After an hour they managed to hide their .tracks and make it to the hidden Starbug. Unless they were expert trackers it would be very hard to find the ship. As they entered Ariel was amazed by the high tech equipment and the cool experiments Franky was working on.

She said, “Wow this is so cool can you give me a tour while we are here?”

He shrugged as he nodded and started with the cock pit and moved the Lab/passenger area then he showed her the Kitchen/Training area/Living quarters. While they were there they decided to have a snack and wait for the others to come back. Eventually Jaxx had to use the bathroom and left to the back area while Ariel waited patiently. While in the bathroom Jaxx felt the ship start to rock and shake. All he could do was brace himself from hitting the walls. This lasted for several minutes as he realized they were taking off.

Jaxx thought to himself, “Couldn’t he wait till I was strapped in my chair. This totally bites.”

After the ship stabilized in space Jaxx cleaned up and made his way out of the bathroom. He looked around to see Ariel was gone and he sighed as he didn’t get to thank her for her help.

After he made it to the cock pit he said, “Hey Master wut wit the not to righteous take off? I like almost busted my melon on the sink.”

The Master set the auto pilot and turned around with a grin as he said, “Oceans to Murgatroyd, sorry about that sweet boy but we were in a bit of a hurry after those naughty kitten were coming the streets for your love and affection, even.”

Jaxx sighed as he replied, “Yeah I like waz in a fix for a while, but then this cool babe helped me hide from them. I’d like give ya an intro but sadly she bailed before I left the can.”

Sandy looked at Jaxx with an annoyed face as she pointed behind him and said, “You mean her?”

Jaxx turned to see Ariel smiling and waving at him as she said, “Hello”

He dropped his jaw as he turned to look back and forth at Franky then Ariel.

As he fumbled for the words to use Franky giggld as he said, “Meet your new fellow apprentice Jaxxy boy. Her name is Ariel Onatopp We had a nice talk while you were in the office.”

Eventually reality Jaxx like a ton of bricks as he saw her bags and the food and said to Ariel, “Heeeeeeyyyyyyyyy! You like planned this from the start huh?”

She innocently batted her eyes at him and said, “Whatever could you mean by that?”

He pouted as he said, “Not cool Ariel. You tricked me. Why?”

She smiled at him innocently as she said, “Come on Jaxx, your just a boy and I’m just a girl could I make it any more obvious?”

Sandy made a mean face as she stepped up and grabbed Jaxx by arm and said, “Master already has me so there is no need for you.”

Ariel sat up and grabbed the other arm, smiled and said, “He already told me there was nothing between you two so he is still fair game.”

Jaxx was scared as he looked to Franky for help. Franky chuckled as he said, “Oceans to Murgatroyd, you looking like the last desert on the table even.”

Jaxx pleaded, “Master please? Can’t you help me out and stuff?”

The Master shook his head no as he replied, “This will do wonders for your social skills dear boy.”

Jazz thought for a second then said, “Then like how can I train like this?”

The Master rubbed his chin and pondered for a bit as he smiled and said, “A valid point even, tell you kids what. You girls can play with Jaxxy poo all you want except when he is training ok?

The females smiled at Franky and nodded before looking competitively at each other as they pulled on Jaxx’s arms.

Jaxx sighed and muttered, “Why me?”


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