Politics and Broken History Abound

Artemis awoke to an ornate, carved ceiling. The smell of fancy liquor and potpourri filled the room, a pleasant change from the stink of the Alamo.

"Well, my atmospheric processing isn't picking up millenia of rust and sadness so I know for a fact I'm not on Blue Dwarf" Artemis joked to the empty room, sitting up and stretching. He pulled out his holo-unit's control module and consulted it to find out his new identity.

Bull Pritchard II, the son of Artemis "Bull" Pritchard III and a man history will remember as the "God of Modern Anesthetic". His experimentation with opiods would later lead to the super-morphines of the future, along with things like medi-gel. Of course, history liked to leave out the fact that he was a cruel mogul who took extreme pleasure in fucking with the lower class.

While Artemis would have enjoyed the living hell out of this a decade or two ago, he wasn't up to being a cruel monster anymore. On top of being a worn out, half decade old scientist he was also a husband and father of eight....those kids and their nuclear powered peppiness really wore him down.

"Mr. Pritchard, we're due for the Prince's party in twenty minutes" Someone called from outside the stateroom.

"Fuck off I'll leave when I'm ready! By the way, where am I?" Artemis snapped.

"Blackout drunk again? Very good sir. You're aboard the RMS Titanic, we're returning to the United States after a.....*cough* goodwill mission to Spain"

Titanic huh? I wonder what the plan is, keep it from sinking or make the sinking 10x worse. I'd be good with either Artemis pondered, slinking out of bed.

"I left the paper on the desk, the British have already published several stories on our trip to Spain, sir"

Artemis picked up the paper. "Secretary of State Pritchard to Spain: Fuck you, we're keeping Cuba!"

Secretary of State?

Artemis checked the control unit again. Apparently, the alternate Alamo lead to Bull Pritchard invading and annexing Mexico for the United States and eventually becoming President for multiple terms. There hadn't been a President since without a Pritchard in the cabinet. Apparently Bull Jr had been appointed as William Taft's secretary of state.

"Secretary Pritchard's visit to Spain, a long overdue goodwill visit in the aftermath of the Cuban Invasion of 1898, was marred by distrust from the second Pritchard landed in Europe....." Artemis read aloud. He once again consulted the control unit....

Apparently the Spanish American War was less about helping the Cubans and more about a personal score between Bull Pritchard and King Alfonso of Spain. The war literally started with Bull claiming he could take Cuba from Spain before he died, and the latter replying with "you're on". The result was Cuba being taken from Spain and annexed as part of Florida.

"Well, we did want to destroy history" Artemis said, folding the paper and setting it back down. "What better way than this"

"Sir, we really should get going"

"For fucks sake man give me a damned minute! My time is more valuable than your entire life!"

Sometime Later, outside the showroom

Artemis didn't quite agree with the clothing he had been left, he was never much of a "fancy dressing fella", even back when he was still totally human. However, he had to look the part. A fancy suit, cloak, top hat, and cane called for in order to fit Bull Jr's medical mogul/politician personality.

Artemis couldn't keep from pulling at the collar of the cloak, which kept tightening around his neck (the simulated nervous system in this holo-body was outstanding, Artemis really felt as if he was being strangled by the damned cloak).

"Sir, please stop, that cloak is worth more than I make in a year" Artemis' manservant Bob (Rob, Tim, Frank, whatever, he still got Boyd's name wrong every so often) complained.


"Tim, sir"

"Frank, if I want to trash this cloak than so be it. I'll rip off your damned skin and wear it instead if you tell me what to do one more damned time!"

Glad the kids aren't here to mimic that Artemis pondered.

"Is this Prince going to show up some time while I'm still relatively young?" Artemis said, checking his pocket watch.

"I don't know sir"

"You told him to meet us here, correct?"

"Uh....I said at the showroom"

"But not here?"


"Walter, I'd beat you if it wouldn't expend energy"

After several minutes Prince Albert and his entourage arrived.

"Mr. Pritchard, Charmed I'm sure"

Artemis tried to think of what Bull would snap back with. He hated the lower class but was basically friends with every ruler (aside from Alfonso) and mogul on Earth.

"I haven't felt charmed since our visit to that island only rich people know about" He said, lying out of his ass.

The prince laughed. "Oh Bull, I wasn't sure you'd remember"

Artemis was relieved, especially since he pulled that bit from a 30 Rock rerun he watched right before the current escapade.

"Come, we may discuss matters of politics later. Right now I hear they're putting on quite a show!"

The entourage took their places at the front of the room. Within minutes the performance began, a burlesque show special for the Prince.

"Marvelous!" the prince yelled.
"Take it off!" Artemis joined in, seconds before realizing...


Artemis stifled laughter and kept up the catcalling with the others.


The ship shuddered as several rounds landed on the deck. The audience began fleeing, the Prince included.

"Come with us Mr. Pritchard!"

"Worry about yourself, good sir, I can handle myself" Artemis said, opting to remain behind and regroup with Cass and the others.

"Your revolver sir" James (bob, frank, greg.....Hank?) said, handing Artemis a gold plated revolver. "Wonderful, let's give these bastards a show of their own shall we?"

The manservant drew a gun of his own. "Of course, sir"

Work and whatnot, you all know how it is. Anyway, I'll follow someone else's lead for this one since I'm going to be in and out with my posting.

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