The Adventures of Dick Pornsak Part 2

"Welcome to Holiday Inn Seven Delta Five. Please enjoy your stay." The bright pink concierge robot checked Dick in and arranged to have his luggage sent up to his room.

"You are on the third floor, breakfast is at 7.00am, would you like to transfer your ships AI to your suite."

"What er no, I am not sharing a room with him. Smurf can have his own room."

"You will like a separate room for your AI?"


"But the room will in fact be empty Sir."

"Yup, he likes it that way."

"I er... very well sir."

Five minutes later Dick was soaking in a bubbly bath up to his chins. He was singing,
"To Gannymede and Titan, yes sir, I've been around..." when the phone rang. He reached over and picked it up.

"Y'ello!" he greeted the caller.

"Good evening Sir," came the voice of Smurf over the phone, "I was wondering whether you had plans for dinner."

"I could eat a horse." Dick replied.

"That may be considered impolite Sir given that several of the local alien populations have evolved from an equine genus."

"What horse people?"

"Yes sir."

"Like a Centaur?"

"No Sir Centaurs do not exist. They are in fact made up."

"Oh, well dinner sounds good."

"Very good Sir, I will book you a table."


Dick sat opposite a small black orb floating in mid air. He poked it and it bobbed around for a few seconds and was still once more.

"You you transferred yourself into a floating ball?"

"Yes sir." Smurf replied, a small blue circle lighting up in the balls centre when he spoke. "Its a rental, I thought you might want some company."

Dick poked it again.

"Sir can I ask, have you ever been poked in the eye with a fork?"

Dick shook his head as he filled his mouth with a fork full of what passed for spaghetti in this corner of the universe.

"No? then may I suggest you stop poking my ball."

Dick spat pasta all over Smurf as he attempted to hold in the laugh.

"Oh why do I bother."

Dick continued to shovel food into his mouth, taking the occasional sip from his glass. "You should try this, its really good."

"I just did." Smurf answered dryly.

His meal complete Dick sat back and took in the sights. The local aliens were indeed somewhat equine in their appearance. Long faces with flowing manes and wide nostrils. They were covered head to tow in short cropped fur and the males in the room were easily distinguished by the rather impressive bulges, where every man aspires to have a rather impressive bulge.

"Kind of makes you feel inadequate." Dick murmured.

"You set a low bar." Smurf observed.

"Oi, piss off. I have never had a woman complain."

"Mostly die to the fact that they are running in the opposite direction."

Dick poked Smurfs ball.

Just then one of the aliens came hurrying over to their table. He was a male, shorter than most, with white and black fur. He grabbed a seat and pulled it up to Dicks table.

"The names, Zed." he whispered in a hurried tone, "and Mr you are in danger. Come with me if you want to live."

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