Doom finally gets it right!

NRPG: Thank you! Thank you! Thank you! I'd like to thank my mum and dad for
their internet access, and an old lady at the bus stop for a nice chat on
the way home.
Now if you'll excuse me...
Ffion Public Transporter Station: Prime City V
Efof was strangely subdued as they entered the building. This was the first
time he'd been near anything remotely like his home since he'd stepped into
that stasis booth six centuries ago.
James glanced around, the room seemed fairly familiar to him as well. It was
a bit like the departure lounge at a spaceport. There were shops and
restaurants everywhere, all empty with strange writing on the signs above
them. Seats lined the middle of the room, vending machines could be seen
around the edge and litter bins rounded off the rows of chairs. There was
something odd about the place though. The vending machines didn't have slots
in for the money, and the shops had no tills in. The waste-paper bins were
much smaller than at home, and there wasn't a no smoking sign in sight. Even
more astonishing, as far as the eye could see, there wasn't a single bill
board, nor a man in a costume handing out booklets nor any other form of
advertising. As they had passed into the building there hadn't even been a
failed policeman to feel them up for weapons.
This was a world where money was needless, where crime, advertising and
abusing your body with drugs were beyond comprehension. This had once been
Blue Midget where Niple's team are
Lloyd glanced over the body of a dead bug found nearby. She'd been given the
delicious task of trying to find a weakness in the creature's body. It was a
strange creature, it had no lungs and no brain, instead it had what looked
like some sort of electromagnetic receiver, and a strange transparent sack
full of green sludge. The nurse had explained that the green sludge was
algie providing oxygen through photosynthesis and food through, well, it got
digested if it grew too fast. Aparently the nurse had seen something on
Earth Jellyfish that did something similar. It meant effectively that the
creature didn't have to breath, and that it didn't think for itself, its
"brain" must be stored somewhere else.
Blue Dwarf
The alien ship seemed to take a deep breath, and exhaled a black cloud that
began to swarm over Blue Dwarf...
Blue Dwarf: Back Up Crew Storage
"Hi there vending machine," Bill said smiling seductively, "How about a cup
of coffee?"
There was a ripping sound and the aisle containing the ship's supply of
backup lawyers was sucked into space. Bill clung to the vending machine as
he saw a horde of strange insect like creatures crawl in from the cold
vacuum outside. Bill gasped, crawling along the floor grill until he was
safely through the door, slamming it shut.
"Bugger! I don't believe it!" he said, gobsmacked, "All these years and
someone is finally dumb enough to try and steal a set of lawyers on ice!"
Back on Ffion Transporter Station
Eventually the party arrived in the central transporter room. Efof ran for
the controls and instantly began to reprogramme the beam out technology. He
locked onto the ship, took the atomic readings, the tachyon spin, the
neutrino levels, then he pressed a big red button and a gigantic gun opened
out of the buildings roof, aiming at the alien ship.
At this point a surviving bug burst through the door, pincers open and
ready. Doom span to meet it but was knocked clean off his feet. James ran to
help but was picked up like a dirty sock and hurled away, he landed in a
transporter cubicle which instantly slammed shut around him. He gazed in
horror as the bug turned on Doom, Doom growled and the bug went off him,
instead appetized by the guarunteed meal of a native Ffionian. Efof didn't
notice, his brows were furrowed in concentration as his four arms danced
over the controls. Doom and the rest of the party turned on the monster,
only to be picked up by their legs and dangled upside down.
The jaws were ready to close, when Efof shouted, "Got it!"
Blue Dwarf
The ship's "tentacles" writhed in pain, the ship's huge mouth opened to let
out a silent roar into the vacuum, then it exploded, covering Blue Dwarf in
enough alien gunk to supply every McDonalds milkshake machine on Earth.
The bug dropped to the ground behind Efof, ooze dripping from its jaws.
James crawled out of the transporter cubicle, "Good work Efof, I would have
handled it differently, but your way was certainly valid..."
"Sorry, but this isn't quite working," Efof said looking stressed, "You see
it's taking way too much power to keep the whole ship in limbo, they need to
rematerialise somewhere!"
A monitor exploded, keyboards melted, the whole room was beginning to smoke.
"Well can't you rematerialise it in pieces? A leg here, a brain there..."
James asked.
"The form is set, I can only control where it goes!"
"Bury it or something!" James pleaded.
The floor boards began to leap up like popcorn.
"Okay...." Efof said.
Suddenly there was a humming noise, and everything died down.
"Phew, what did you do with it?" James asked.
"Buried it," Efof said.
"THE APOCALYPSE IS NIGH!!!" Doom bellowed.
"Doom, now isn't the time!" James said.
The ground shook.
"What do you mean when you say 'bury'?" James asked.
"I beamed it into Ffion's core..." Efof said.
"Do know what happens if the ship atoms, sort of, collide with the atoms in
the planet's core?"
"Erm..." Efof stuttered.
"A big fucking explosion," one of the members of the party said.
The ground shook again.
"Lots of them."
The ground began to crack open, magma oozed through the ground.
"Oh god! The whole planet's gonna blow!" James decided, panicking.
"Why don't we just beam over to Blue Dwarf?" Efof suggested.
James thought for a second, "Say, that's a bloody good idea..."
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