Nurse Coffey : Puke Patrol
Blue Dwarf
During the party
Nurse Coffey was on duty during the party and she was
irritated. She didn't mind missing the drinks since
she'd been sauced enough in the previous few days. No,
it was the obnoxious, confrontational human
interreaction she missed. At the last party she'd
started a drunken brawl on the snack table with a
someone about whether Jean Paul Sartre was more of a
tapioca or rice pudding man. Now that had been fun.
This was a lose-lose situation. The patients suffering
from theta radiation leak were all sedated and
recovering nicely so she didn't have much to do except
sit in the Sickbay and be forced to smell the cooking
ointment fumes of Dr. "Just rub it in" Keto. Or Choice
2 : wander the halls in search of distressed drunks
who might have crossed that fine line between fun and
injury. In other words, the dreaded Puke Patrol. As
Coffey spied Dr. Keto carrying a bucket of lard he'd
"borrowed" from the McDonald's grease bin, she quickly
grabbed her medkit and ran out the door. There _were_
worse smells than regurgitated food. Hell, even ten
thousand joss sticks couldn't overcome that!
A couple of hours later, Nurse Coffey had checked over
too many nauseous partygoers than she could keep track
of, as well as getting the on-duty security people to
take the unconscious fun-seekers back to their
quarters. After extracting a cheesy twist from the
nasal cavity of her last patient, Coffey wisely
decided to wach her hand's on the women's washroom.
Stepping inside, she saw a snoring figure slouched
under the sinks.
"Wake up, Lloyd!" said Coffey, shaking the sleeping
security officer. Lloyd mumbled something about "dirty
pints, gov!" and went back to dreamland. After several
other attempts to revice Lloyd failed, it was clear
she was out for the count. About to call someone to
take Ensign Penny Lloyd to her own room, when Coffey
noticed Lloyd's blandly almost colourless (in Coffey's
opinion) blonde hair.
"Have you ever considered a change in tint? Maybe just
a little darker?"
Lloyd mumbled something unintelligable and continued
snoring. Taking that as an affirmative, Hazel Coffey
dug around in her medkit until she found what she was
looking for. "Ultrafast Midnight Black should do
nicely." Fifteen minutes later, security took Ensign
Lloyd out from under the hand dryer and onto a trolley
to deliver her to her own room.
"Well, the night wasn't a complete waste," said Coffey
to herself. "I wonder what Niples will think of her
new look." Whistling an old English folktune by the
title of "Flies on the Windscreen", she went back to
work.
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