Re: [JMC_Blue_Dwarf] Pregame Training
OOC: Ignore last one, just have to add beginning bit
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Vega 22 Paintball headquarters
Shortly before Nutter Harrison's post
Yuw'anker, Johnson and now Doom were dressed up in the full grey uniform of
the Space Core. Biff had now flown down to get ready, and was currently
teaching the traitors from Blue Dwarf how to operate the paintball equipment
of the Space Core's Ultimate Marines (S.C.U.M for short).
"This," Biff said, reloading his gun "Is the standard issue Space Core
Wallcoater 4000, the ultimate in long range paint-powered combat," he held
it forward for the recruits to see, "It has laser sight, sniper scope,
automatic loading, pressure sensitive trigger and six constantly rotating
barrels. In the field this gun will save your butt!" he explained.
Johnson gazed admiringly down at his new weapon, in less than two hours he
would be using it on his crewmates.
"If for some reason you are unable to use the Wallcoater, say you faked a
surrender, the gun jammed or the trigger snapped, you'd surpised how often
that happens, you will use your one shot blitz," Biff drew a small pistil
from a holster inside his boot, "This baby has one shot, but it could be the
difference between being in or out of the game."
He moved onto the next weapon, "If you're lucky enough to get five or six of
the bastards in a small area, you can wipe them out with your standard issue
Paint Grenade," he said taking it from his pack.
Johnson put his hand.
"Yes Johnson?" Biff said, catching his eye and smiling, "What can I do for
you?"
Johnson smiled, trying to stop himself from blushing, "Isn't that a, um, tin
of paint?"
"In context, it's a Paint Grenade, if you can get them on the head with it
it's really effective," Biff smiled, quickly putting his macho image up
again he drew his final weapon, "This is for one long range combat just
isn't enough. As you can see, this is a paint brush. It's been covered in
moss genetically engineered to constantly grow green paint. If your one shot
blitz is gone, your Grenade is used up and the Wallcoater is out of action,
this is your only hope."
He stood straight up and saluted his men, "Now, contrary to what you may
have heard, this is no game gentlemen, when we go out there it is war, the
odds are in our favour, we outnumber them, outgun them and have much better
uniforms. We are gonna kick their panzie asses all the way back to Jupiter,
understand!"
"SIR YES SIR!" James and Efof saluted.
"THE TIME OF RECKONING IS AT HAND! MUHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!" Doom said, which
ammounted to the same thing.
"Why is he so insulting about the Blue Dwarf crew?" Efof asked.
"Because we've got to hate them if we're gonna beat them," James explained,
"You can't go into battle screaming 'Die you people who I would probably
really like if I met you socially!' You've got to be ready to kill them!"
"I thought we were just shooting them with balls of paint?" Efof asked.
"Well yeah..." James nodded.
"Why? I mean back on Ffion we had to kill the bugs to save ourselves, and it
was even a little fun, but why are we doing this? There's no point?"
"It's fun," James shrugged, "We like fighting."
Efof frowned, people were being unpleasant, violent, paranoid, yet he could
see James's point, it WAS sort of fun...
"Haven't your people ever had a war?" James asked.
"There was a bar brawl once," Efof said, "It was a grave day for Ffion kind,
I don't wanna talk about it," he sighed.
"Fine, let's just kick those Blue Dwarfer's asses!" James said, pumping his
gun up.
"Why do we hate them? I thought we just doing this to avoid being in jail?"
Efof asked.
"Yeah, but, well I've been thinking, I was never really appreciated there, I
mean I came out here for adventure, but all I do is make the tea and sit
behind a desk all day. The Space Core, now they're PROPER space explorers! I
mean think about it, you watched the space around here for years..."
"..weeks..." Efof corrected.
"You know this space better than anyone, and what are you doing? Garbage
duty! And look at Doom, his cause has been completely ignored by Blue Dwarf,
he deserves better!" James said.
"THE INFIDEL WILL SUFFER FOR THEIR BLASPHEMY! THEY SHALL BE SWARMED BY ALL
THE FURBIES IN HELL!" Doom bellowed.
"See?" James said.
They climbed onto the drop ship, alongside Al Gore and the guy who'd
arrested them at customs. They sat growling at their opposite numbers.
The drop ship launched.
On the planet, the Space Core's military arsenal moved into action, the Blue
Dwarf crew would never know what hit them...
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