Re: [JMC_Blue_Dwarf] Does the Space Hamster come to the rescue?!?

Congratulations go to WhiteWolf who is now a Certified Novell Engineer (CNE).  
(In real life of course, I doubt Lt. Cmdr Smegg's Engineering staff have CNE's.)
 
Cmdr Niples
 
PS- I'd like the Paintball match to be finished off asap now, we've got to move on with the next story!

----- Original Message -----
From: White Wolf
To: JMC_Blue_Dwarf@egroups.com
Sent: Tuesday, November 28, 2000 6:00 PM
Subject: [JMC_Blue_Dwarf] Does the Space Hamster come to the rescue?!?
Lt. White WolfSomewhere in the jungleMoments after setting up Death Wishes CatapultWhite Wolf quickly takes stock of his supplies before entering the brush, (to make sure he didn't drop or leave behind anything important while working with the rubber tree), One fully automatic paintball machine gun with 32,000 rounds of ammo (good for one full minute of auto-firing!) - Check, One blue paint grenade - Check, One 200 gallon a minute water cannon and pump system with a canister of super concentrated "Tidybowl Blue" colorant dye taken from his small ships armament - Check, One remotely detonatable paint mine marked "the big one" in bold letters - Check, One fully watertight sealed Vidman with Holly 2- Check.  But the paintball deflector field generator was missing!Stopping and looking around for a moment to see if he dropped it, the Six foot 1 inch hamster then spotted Death Wish wearing a belt that looked suspiciously like the generator. Shrugging and thinking, "I was going to give it to Major Harris, But I guess is a better idea for Death Wish to have it anyways...". White Wolf then drops to all fours, and darts off into the underbrush.After a few minutes of quietly moving through the bushes, he stops, and carefully pokes his head out from underneath the underbrush looking decidedly like a mouse peeking out of his mouse hole. He surveys the area, yep; he's behind the marines' base. And thinking to himself, "Curse it all! They've cleared most of the brush away from the base; I won't be able to sneak up on them undetected. Hmm, alright, time to switch to plan B." Ducking back into the underbrush, and maneuvering himself to where there is small pond nearby, he quickly sets up the hose and pump system for his water cannon. And then moves over to the dry, soft, loamy soil and begins digging a hole. He quickly gets to his size in depth. He stops and sets up a small trench just deep enough to hide the water hose from the pond to the hole, drops the hose into it, and covers it up again. Then gets into his hole and camouflages the entrance with dirt and underbrush. Finally, the huge hamster shoves most of his gear ahead of him, and takes out one item and quickly rigs the "big one" as a trip wire booby trap to blast anyone stupid enough to enter his hole back out of it, behind him. With that done, he grabs up his equipment and digs downward a ways more. He stops and pulls out his vidman bringing up Holly 2, whispering, "Holly2, I need you to give me a GPS reading superimposed on this planets topographic map." Holly2 nods, winking with his right eye and using closed captioning instead of his voice replies "Uplinking to the Blue Dwarf via transceiver. Connection successful. Crosslinking to the realtime planetary GPS system. Done. Give me a moment while I hack back into the stations mainframe to pull up the topographic maps from their database ...", the huge hamster waits agonizing half minute while Holly 2 displays something that looks rather like a music video. Then a highly detailed multicolored display comes up. "Ace!" whispers White Wolf, and studies it a moment to get his bearings, and begins digging again.Lt. BiffNear the Marines base campMeanwhileBiff, looking rather dejected at being eliminated so easily, wanders back towards the marines' camp. He, of course, is somewhat lost and has been going in circles for a few minutes.Finally, deciding that he's thirsty he doubles back to toward a pond he saw earlier to get a drink of cool water.  He tramps loudly through the underbrush, grumbling loudly "Where's that smeggin' pond?"Lt. White WolfUnderneath the marines base campMoments laterChecking his position on the vidman to where he remembers the flag being at the marines' base one more time before digging upward, he knew needed the timing of this last bit to be right. He hitched up the water cannon to his left shoulder ready to punch it upwards when he broke through to the surface, and he carefully began to dig the last few feet with his right paw. Suddenly, he heard some heavy sounding footsteps from above. He stopped digging. The last thing he wanted was one of those big oaf marines to be falling through onto him. He waited until he couldn't hear any more footsteps.Lt. BiffNear the pond behind the Marines base campMeanwhileBiff finally found the pond. He quickly went over, and kneeled, bringing a cupped hand of water to his lips. He stopped when he noticed a hose sticking into the water. Dropping his handful of water and exclaiming "What the SMEG?!?". He quickly followed the little freshly dug ditch back towards a small mound of leaves and underbrush, which he wiped aside. Puzzled, he muttered, "This is dirt is all freshly dug. I don't remember any of our side putting anything over here..." And then, in a amazing mental feat that Lt. Biff has rarely accomplished before, He came to a correct conclusion.  With voice that spoke volumes of eager anticipation, "It's got to be that smegging rat... I'll fix `em!" And he began to dig furiously.Suddenly, as he uses his hands to scoop out more gobs of the soft loamy dirt, he realizes both his hands are underneath a trip wire. He barely avoids snagging the wire with the cuffs of his uniform as his first reaction to immediately pull his hands out. Beads of sweat build up on his forehead as he concentrates to slowly withdraw his hands from underneath the trip without touching it. Then, a huge bead of sweat forms on his brow and begins to run into his left eye temporarily blinding him there, absentmindedly, Lt. Biff reaches up with a hand to brush the sweat off. The trip wire to the "big one" goes <Snick!>. And then Lt. Biff, realizing what he's just done, let's out a bone chilling scream of "NNNNNOOOOOOOOooooooo!!!" that can be heard several hundred yards away.--------------------------------------------Pvt. Death WishOff in the Jungle sitting upon a rubber tree catapult not far from the marines' base campMere seconds after Lt. Biffs screamUpon hearing Lt. Biff's wailing scream from towards the marine base camp, Death Wish quickly yells, "That must be the signal they told me to wait for!" and quickly cuts the rope tying down the tree. Sending him flying towards the marine camp, while yelling "Banzi!!!"---------------------------------Lt. White WolfUnderneath the marines base campAt exactly the same momentThe huge hamster listens to the silence for a moment longer, and then begins digging with his right paw again. He quickly breaks through to the surface and sees light streaming down. He takes only a moment to eyeball the area above through the small hole to check where the marines' flag is. It's off to his right, and there's a marine standing in front him with his back to the huge hamster. Without a moments' hesitation, White Wolf jams his water cannon muzzle up into the hole and aims it at the marine standing guard, and literally blasts him off his feet! Two marines standing nearby turn around just as the airborne marine goes over their shoulders, they try to duck as a spectacular blue colored geyser sprays them and the entire marine base camp for fifty feet around.  Three more marine guards standing just outside of the geysers spray radius debate what to do, because they can't see how they can shoot at their enemy without getting coated in blue.White Wolf stops his water cannon, drops it, and quickly reaches up with his right paw, and grabs at the Marine's green flagpole, gropes around for a second, and then seizes the pole, uprooting it. The three marines now react, they dash forward while firing, aiming to hit the paw at a distance of fifty feet, fortunately for White Wolf, none of these marines are that good of a shot with a paintball gun. The area gets pelted with green, as the green flag disappears down the hole. White Wolf begins scrambling further into his tunnel, as the three marines nearly reach the hole.  Death Wish suddenly crashes to a ground about three feet short of them. There's a pregnant pause as the three marines stare at Death Wish and Death Wish stares back. Death Wish, realizing this could be his moment of glory, quickly rips open his jacket revealing the multitude of paint grenades, and grabs the pull wire. The three marines quickly swing their rifles around to shoot him. They fire, and he pulls the wire at the same instant. Suddenly, a tremendous explosion roars from the behind the marine camp, which can be heard all the way back to the dwarfers camp. The three blue paint splattered marines and one green splattered Death Wish watch in stunned surprise as a brilliant ball of blue flame gushes upward and Lt. Biff sails through the air away from the camp. Below, White Wolf suddenly realizes he should have consulted Penny Lloyd on how much explosive to use in that paint mine, and quickly reverses courses trying to make it out the hole before the blasts backwash down the tunnel arrives.A mere thousandth of second later, the four men suddenly see the huge hamster suddenly trying to scramble out of the hole. The six foot 1 inch hamster suddenly gets stuck, and yells "Get me out of this!" The four men are a loss for what to do, and then hearing the loud rumble underneath the ground suddenly realize what going to happen, and quickly try to leap out of the way. As the rumble nearly reaches him, White Wolf mutters, while only halfway free of the hole, "This does not bode well!"In a secondary explosion that can also be heard all the way back at the dwarfers camp, the huge hamster is shot out of the hole looking for all the world like a circus act where a man gets shot out of a cannon. White Wolf reaches the top of the arc while still holding the marine flag in the style of a medieval jouster ready to tilt at his challenger. The huge hamster yells "Oooohhhhh Sssmmmeeegggg!!!" as he crashes through the treetops on his downward arc. His 21 point (that's how many trees he hit) decent finishes face first with a resounding crash. The huge hamster was sitting face down rear end stuck up in the air, in a heap in the cleared area in front of the Blue Dwarfers base camp.  The huge hamsters' rear end slowly slumped down and there was no further movement. The dwarfers standing guard around the base, looked at each other in shock as they wondered if the huge hamster was dead, because they've never seen a human being survive that much abuse before. Several moments pass as the dwarfers hesitate a little longer, not knowing what to do.Slowly, the hamster's right paw shakily hoists the green flag, and waves it a little. White Wolf weakly raises his head, and calls towards the dwarfers "I got the flag...  Oowwww." then flops his head back down. OOC - Sorry about the delay in my post, I was away studying for my final test (of six) for my CNE certification. And to make matters worse, Mediaone (my ISP), decided in it's infinite wisdom to perform maintenance, which disconnected the entire town of Hugo (where I live), so I had to wait until my lunch post from my work.Oh BTW - Yes, I did pass the test - So I'm a Certified Novell Engineer (CNE) now!The continuing adventures of the Blue Dwarf...www.geocities.com/bluedwarf2000To unsubscribe from this group, send an email to:JMC_Blue_Dwarf-unsubscribe@egroups.com