And so were back from outer space....ish.... (Jp by Jay and alota)Posted by
Posted: Aug 3, 2002, 4:04pm
Jay pulled himself up from Phils sofa, and stretched. "UUUUUUUuuuuuaaaaaaaggggggggghhhhhhhhhhh" he groaned, "So...whats the plan?"
White Wolf looked up "Wernt you listening?"
"Umm...would no be the wrong answer?"
White Wolf sighed..."Call Alota...get her to arrange an away team and the fly them to the planet."
"Can YOU call Alota?....she doesnt really like me at the moment..."
White Wolf shook his head, "Jay, meet me in the shuttlebay in 15 minutes, I'LL call your wife!"
"shuttle bay 7 Hamster man!" Jay said
"7?, ok, and Jay"
"Dont call me hamster man" White Wolf scolded, again placing his ear to WD-40's crotch to call Mrs Chrysler.
"Alota are you there?...Alota come in" a strange yet familiar almost gargaling voice came from somewhere, Alota looked around strangely, searching for that damned voice. Walking into her bathroom she heard the voice again,
"Alota..come in Alota" the gargling voice was coming from her toilet,
"Oh my God my toilets possessed!" Alota gasped looking as a small stream floated up from the sacred toilet bowl,
"Alota this is Whitewolf.......toilet?" he started then ended asking, "WD-40 why the hell did you reroute my telephone signals to the toilet?" White wolf asked, a muffled reply was heard from Alota's side and for some strange can't place my finger on reason she didn't want to hear it.
"Alota I need you to assemble an away team...then meet me and Jay in the shuttle bay" he said a note of authority in his voice.
"But Whitewolf sir with all due respect Jay's a smeg!" she exclaimed
"Smeg or no smeg it's a direct order" Whitewolf said
"Yes sir...Whitewolf could I try something?" Alota asked
"Sure" Whitewolf said obviously not paying attention to the question. Picking up her hand Alota placed it on the handle of the toilet, then quickly pulled it down.
Whitewolf was stood in front of WD-40's crotch when suddenly a jet of water came out. Back on alota's side she heard the gargling of a wet hamster.
"on my way commander!" she said chuckling to herself.
"Listen Dean" said Jay, "Lets go over the finer points of poker" he said, watching Dean trying to cheat his way to a victory. "It;'s actually against the rules to set fire to cards you dont like"
"ouch..." Dean whispered, sucking his singed fingers, "I can see why !" he muttered, throwing his lighter to the ground. "Good idea numnutz, throw a lighter near a starbug's fuel line".
Jay said picking up the lighter, it was at this point the away team arrived "Ready Jay?"
"As I'll ever be Ham...I mean White Wolf, Dean, standby for launch with the back up"
Dean nodded and headed out of the bay.
Jay saw Alota in the crowd "Honey...I'm..."
"HM.." Alota huffed, puching past Jay and entering the shuttle.
Jay threw his arms in the air.
"Bad luck man!!!" came a voice from Jays knees. "WHAT DID YOU SAY?!" Jay asked Mini-Phil.
"! hour, 37 minutes!" Regular Phil shouted happily, shutting off his stop-watch.
"look whatever man, get in the shuttle..."
Alota walked into the shuttle and strapped herself down. Not that she wanted to avoid being thrown around by the lunatic known as Jay chrysler,
"Hm stupid muppet" she grunted to herself as everyone walked in, crossing her arms she waited for numnutz ananymous to finally take off. Oh it was definately Jay starting take off, how? you may ask with the site of pilots seat being blocked by a wall, the fact that the bug dropped a few feet as the legs where retracted before flight.
"Asshole" she muttered.
Jay started the engines. "Control room, permission to take off?"
"Um..no...wait a sec.."
"Tough shit i'm goin anyway"
The stabug lifted off and rocketed out of the launch bay.
White Wolf came into the cockpit "YOU WANNA TONE IT DOWN A LITTLE COMMANDER?!"
"What?!" Jay remarked "You wanna get down there dont ya!"
"Just because you're fighting with you're wife doenst mean you can throw us all around like a lottery machine!!"
"Who says I'm fighting with Alota?!"
"..well she did actually.."
Jay just pulled a face and throtttled even harder, heading toward the planet.
Mini-Phil turned up.
Most of the shuttle crew heard
Mini-Phil found Jays fist was quite hard hitting.
"THAT IS MY WIFE YOU FILTHY PERVERT!!!"
"Hmm..so Jay picking on midgets now are we?!" came the voice of Alota. "You sicken me"
Phil looked at Jay smirking, Jay looked back and said "At least shes talking to me!"
Unstrapping herself Alota got up, 'the nerve of that muppet!' she thought loudly moving over to the drive room to personally kill Jay. A few rumbles made her fall to her feet,
"Alota..." Jay began
"Oh bog off and fly" she said standing up and moving to sit in one of the cock pits chair, the one behind the communications consoule.
"You know Alota!...." Jay began, but was interruppted by a klaxon sounding.
"Thats not good" he said.
"What?" asked Phil, White Wolf and Alota in unison.
Through the plexi-glass windows the crew could see the southernmost oint of New Ibizas main resort, buildings aflame, more importantly a swarm of giant flying insects closing the shuttle from all sides.
Jay put on his 'fightin face'
"Something tells me these guys aint here to say Hi" he said
"Oh really Jay..pray tell jow did you come to that conclusion?!" Alota said sarcastically.
Jay said nothing, he knew better. "EEEEEE!" said MP,
"Mini-Phil, remember what happens when you talk about my wifes bottom?"
Mini-Phil ran away.
Jay, flipped up the cover of the weapons trigger button, on top of the control stick.
"Starbug..147a....ah-ha! laser cannons!." he muttered, and opened fire, a huge blast of laser fire ripped through the front bugs. This just pissed off the swarm even more. Inside the cabin, huge stingers ripped through the hull, tearing it to shreds, "CHRYSLER!!!!" yelled Sydra, "get us outta here!!!"
"WHAT THE HELL DO YOU THINK I'M TRYING TO DO?!"
he said, as the front windscreen shattered,
There was an explosion.
"SMEG!" they got the fuel tanks!, Gonna have to make a water landing!"
Explosions and small fires filled the cockpit, Alota's console exploded in her face, throwing her backward.
"ALOTAAAAAAAAAA!!!" Jay screamed, getting up form his seat.
"I'll see to her, you fly!" said the humongous hamster.
"TOO LATE!" Phil screamed, as the shuttle hit the water, the impact with the water causing it to jump up thorugh the shattered cockpit windscreen, flooding the cabin.
The shuttle slowed down, until it came to a stop on the 'neo medditereanean' sea.
Alota fell backwards whacking her head on another consoule with the blow from her consoule. She feel unconsious after whapping her head.
Whitewolf started shaking Alota, she slowly came too
"Alota....Alota!" she opened her eyes, reached into her pocket pulled out a set of black shades and a long thin silver thing, putting on her shades she pressed a button on the silver thing and it extended revealing a red light,
"What's that?" whitewolf asked,
"Just look into the light" and a huge flash filled the room, Whitewolf was staring over the person like a couch potato,
"Your just an ordinary 6ft hamster acting captain, you also need a shave" Alota said standing up, Jay looked up at Alota,
"Alota?" he asked
"Names K....agent K" she pulled two suits out of nowhere and threw one to Jay,
"Here put this on" she said
"What's this?" Jay asked grasping hold of the suit thrown at him,
"The last suit you'll ever wear" alota said some how managing to pull on her suit in two point 4 seconds.
Jay looked at Alota
"Alota...what's going on?"
"It's simple. Alien life, bugs need to be fought...and it's K" Jay, although bewildered, knew from experience to obey Alota and managed to slip on his suit fairly quickly,
"You know what the difference between me and you is??" Jay asked standing up and putting on his glasses, "You make this look good".
(here come the men...well man and woman in black!...galaxy defenders, oh and btw, lets get some reinforcements down here!)
__________________________________________________________________andy longmanICQ#: 95638653Current ICQ status:
+ More ways to contact me i See more about me: __________________________________________________________________