'Starship Troopers', we're not... 'Kelly's Heros' wanna be's, perha

Where: Some about to be extremely deforested beach on New Ibiza.
When: After WW tossed his cookies from watching Alota & Jay do their
MIB knockoff..
Who: Niples, Efof, White Wolf, Phil, Sydra, Alota, Jay, Cerebrum and
whoever else shows up.
"Looook out, There's one of them over there!" Shouted Sydra pointing
towards some nearby trees, and both Phil & MP emptied thier weapons
magazines into another stand of palm trees. Thier heavy fire quickly
cut all the leaves off the trees, and caused several to fell over.
"Hey, Hey, Hey! Stop shooting!!! It's just me, using the
facilities..." Yelled the overgrown hamster with his paws raised
appearing out of the smoking rubble that used to be the stand of palm
trees, which in a matter of seconds was turned to rubble.
"Oh, Sorry... What were doing back there anyway?" Asked Phil.
"Experiencing the last of my dry heaves after thinking I was re-
experiencing the return of a 'Mary Kay' torture session of yours. My
paws still are breaking out in a sweat... See!" Explained the Huge
hamster.
Rustle came from another set of nearby tress, to which Alota & Jay
quickly responded by tossing a couple of grenades into. And another
stand of palm trees were quickly blown up & reduced to to rubble.
"Ok, I give up! You just got the rest of my mercenary marines..."
remarked a bruised & blackened Cerebrum quickly stepping out the
smoking rubble of those trees while waving a white hankerchief and
wearing only a pair of tattered underwear.
"Our bad... Here, have a wetnap on the house." Commented Alota,
flipping him a couple of the tiny white packages from her portable
first aid kit.
Efof and Niples came running up the beach to them, and Efof
shouted, "Boy are we ever glad to see you! You should have seen it,
mountain blew up, and all these ants..."
"Bugs!" corrected Seymour with annoyance.
"Yeah... Bugs came out, and started regur... Um... re-ggrrr..."
"Throwing up!" corrected Seymour again.
"Yeah, kinda like him." Said Efof pointing to White Wolf, "But only
on everyone & everything around. And the people and stuff, well they,
de... Desol.. Um, Got mushy, and then these huge slurped 'em up and
took off, just like they did back on my planet. But, Only that was a
long time ago, and we didn't the neat exploding volcano and smoke
then."
"And may ask why you were shooting the trees? The main attack force
seems to have moved on to the more populated city just south of this
beach..." Asked Seymour.
"Well, Besides ticking off the local tree huggers and nearly killing
two of our crewmates, we were looking for you, Captain!" replied Jay.
"No Jay, I'm not a Captain anymore. I'm an Ambassador for the queen
and he's going to be your Captain now." corrects Niples, pointing to
White Wolf who's licking off a spoonful of peanut butter & bacon
crumbles he found in the emergency food pack.
"You're kidding us, Right?" replies Alota & Jay in unison.
"Hey, I've got to get something back in my stomach! Besides, how can
I help it if I think bacon & peanut butter taste great together...."
Says the huge hamster defensively as he notices all eye's are on him.
"The Queens is going to pull some strings in the Space Core and get
him promoted to Captain, so I can stay aboard as Ambassador...."
Explains Seymour.
"Bugger... The JMC would promote a hamster to Captain, wouldn't they?
What do they think the Blue Dwarf is, the henchman guild?" remarks
Phil.
The huge hamster hiccupped & burped loudly, while a small blue smurf
jumped out of his fur and ran off down the shoreline chittering to
itself, before it touched the seawater and exploded. showering 'Kay'
with little bits of smurf parts.
Phil glanced worriedly at his watch and then glanced back up at Jay
and muttered quietly to himself, "That really should have kicked in a
long time ago..."
Alota, er, Agent 'Kay, casually wiped the smurf guts off her face and
asked pointedly, "Okay, so we've completed our mission of locating
Ambassador Niples, what's our next objective?"
"E.... Eeee.... EEEE." Answered Mp.
"I don't need to know MP-ese to understand that! Let's go find the
local New Ibiza military force, and help them go kick some bug arse."
Ordered the Big Hamster, while walking over and picking up one of the
stray pulse rifles off of one of Cerebrums dead mercenary Marines.
"There's only one teensy weensy problem with that..." Piped up
cerebrum, "The group that I was with, used to be what was left of New
Ibiza's planetary defense force, thier Corporal was hoping we could
steal your shuttle and get off New Ibiza when he saw you coming in
for a landing. And I tried explaining to him how relieable our
shuttles usually were after a Chrylser or Dean Manuver, but he said
he was getting desparate..."
"EEE eeee eee E?" Asked Mini-Phil.
"Yeah, why didn't they head over to the space port, and get a ship
from there?" Asked Jay, suddenly realizing he could understand what
MP was saying, and started hitting himself on the side of his head
with the heel of his hand muttering,"Good god - I hope that's the
side effects kicking in..."
"I suspect, it's because when the Sergeant and three platoons of his
mucho muscled buddies tried doing that they got creamed, *Literally*,
by the bugs that are already over there cobbling together some kind
of spider ship." replied Cerebrum.
"Hmmm, I guess that means we're just gonna have to try our hand at
the stealthy sneak in the back door approach, rather than just going
up and knocking on the front door and asking the bugs politely for a
ship then." Says the huge hamster, "Okay everybody, grab up some of
these weapons, we're gonna need them if we're gonna go nick a ship a
from a bug infested space port..."
"Have you been dipping in the fermenated gerbil food?" replied
Jay, "If three platoons of marines couldn't do it, how the smeg do
you think we can?"
"Look, Jay, if you or anyone else has got a amazing hidden talent for
turning all these freshly cut trees into a space worthy vehicle or a
inflatible starbug in the life raft, now would be the time to tell
me! Otherwise, I don't think we've got an awful lot of alternatives
here with a crashed starbug with a ruined communications console."
replied the huge hamster heatedly, "Wait a minute - Seymour, do you
still have your cell phone and use it to contact the dwarf?"
"um, well, yes and no." replied Niples holding up the melt remains of
his phone, "One of the bugs spit on it."
"Alright then, we can either try an nick someone else's cell phone,
or a ship from the space port. So, which does everyone wanna do?"
Asks the Huge Hamster of the group at large, pausing and then
worriedly glancing at the horizon north of them, "Unless of course,
each of you prefer to just hang around here and find out how useful
our weapons are against whatevers making that loud buzzing sound
coming this way!"
"I don't hear any buzzing..." Says Phil, "I wonder if hamsters have
more sensitive ears than the rest of us?"
"I think I'll take his word for it..." Replies Seymour as he & Efof,
quickly running to follow the overgrown hamster dashing across the
sand on all fours.
Alota points to a two dark shadows darkening the northern horizon,"I
can barely hear something that sounds like one of those biting insect
repellant commercial coming from there."
Jay whips out his pair of Bi-knocks, (Binoculars...) and looks then
quickly says, "Holy Smeg! I don't know whether thier a wierd cross
between mosquitos and wasps or what - but whatever they are, their
about the size of Saint Bernard with four wings!"
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