Seymour+Efof "Ironing"Posted by
Posted: May 2, 2003, 8:42pm
Ambassador Seymour Niples + Efof Yuwan'Kar
Onboard Space Eagle 2
The Blue Dwarf's fighter craft circled a swarm of hundred of Blue
Dwarf escape pods like a sheepdog keeping sheep in a circle.
Unfortunately one escape pod staryed away and fell into a small
travelling black hole. Efof who was piloting whisted nervously
hoping that Seymour hadnt noticed.
The curious Ffionian looked around.
"Mr Niples?" Efof asked innocently. "Is it some kind of natural
human instint to need to iron all of the time?"
Seymour was bent over in the cramped back of the small fighter
trying to iron out the creases in the Dinner jacket and silk shirt
he had been wearing for dinner before the order to evacuate was
given. He had no time to change into his Evacuation jacket which of
course he had been waiting to try out for quite some time now.
Seymour was quite miffed at this fact, he had spent quite some time
one afternoon pondering what kind of suit he would most like to be
seen wearing as he was rescued, as of course a picture of him would
have probably been in all the newspapers. And he liked to imagine it
would have been front page news too, as of course he was a vital
aide to the Queen of England.
In fact the average Fred Smith of Earth when asked if they had heard
of Seymour Niples, the would probably have answered "yes please".
Seymour's evacuation suit also had to be able to look good to Alien
cultures if he was discovered by another race, then based on the
neat, tidy and stylish appearance of one man he could hopefully give
a very good impression of humanity and prevent a war which would
kill millions of people and aliens. But unfortunately, this
potentially life-saving suit was left behind and had now gone down
forever with the Blue Dwarf.
He hoped the 300 dollarpounds dinner jacket he was wearing now would
look good enough when they were rescued.
And now he used the small travel iron (which he's made sure was
packed in the Space Eagle already for just such an emergency) to
remove the creases he'd got from sitting in the poilots seat for
"No Efof, I do admit that unforunately not all of humanity prides
itself on appearance, If you are of a higher classes of people like
I then it bodes well for ones status to look smart at all times."
"Ahh," said Efof looking puzzled. "But on my planet we were always
told that it's the person inside that counts "
"Yes, and just remember which planet out of yours and Earth has
stood the test of time!" Seymour lectured.
Efof frowned and looked hurt. "yes sir" he sobbed.
Seymour finished and walked to the cockpit of the Space Eagle (i.e.
taking one step and getting there)
"Why the blast havnt we been rescued yet?" Seymour looked through
the window at the stars and the floating escape pods. "We have
rounded up all 1000 escape pods-"
"999 actually sir "
"We lost one?!!"
Efof bit his lip nervously, "No, erm two people must have doubled
Seymour nodded and Efof looked relieved. Seymour reached for his
mobile phone and tried to dial any of the Starbugs that were
supposed to be looking for help.
First he tried Dean, then hung up.
"What's wrong?" asked Efof.
"All I got was this kind of monkey jibbering very odd that. Maybe
my call was cross-connected again and diverted to that planet with
the monkeys that Earth marketed mobile phones to."
He tried ringing Phil. And hung up looking rather pale and sheepish.
"No, I think my call was cross-connected to an Amsterdam chat
service cos all I got was complete utter filthy talk!"
"ooh let me let me!" Efof tried to snag the phone.
Seymour pulled it away and rang Zodar, "Hello Zodar I- odd the
phone just seemed to make a gurgling melting sound as if it were
He rang Jay this time. "Ahh jolly good Jay your there, whats going
on? I've been trying to contact people all day!"
There was silence and a banging sound. Then Jays voice came back
again. "Sorry Ambassador, you wouldn't believe how hard it is to
hold up a phone with wings!"
"Good lord, did you say wings?"
"Erm yes well it's a long story. Come and join us, I'll send you the
Jay texted the coordinates of the massive alien ship and Efof heded
the Space Eagle in the right direction.
"Lets just hope the escape pods will be fine here." Seymour said.
Out of the corner of Efof's eye as they turned away he saw a small
Hymenoptara scout ship snag one of the escape pods and speed away in
the blink of an eye so fast that Efof wondered of he just imagined
"I urrrh . yes I'm sure they'll be fine sir."
--30 minutes later
"Good lord" Said Seymour, examining the walls of the massive space
ship as they walked out of the landed Space Eagle.
<OOC-That's all I've got time to write folks, I'm very tired but
thought I'd better do something as I've been away for so long, been
on holiday, and have to finish my final project off- and then I'm
free, wahay! What can Seymour get turned into possibly his worse
nightmare, a . tramp?>