A friendly Handshake

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room.
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Jack looked at his gun, Heat tracers showed two male figures directly
next to the door, alcohol tracers showed large quantitys had been
consumed within the last hour. 'Right, there either russians, or
someone from the crew' said Keats, knowing all to well the attraction
to beer, spirits and methanol that joined the russians and his fellow
Dwarfers. Several words were shouted in russian, the Gun picked them
up, translated and caused even Keats to blush slightly. 'Right,
Jack... umm, act drunk, NOW!' said John, encoragingly. 'But i dont
fee..' Keats rammed his hip flask into Jacks mouth and poured a good
quantity down his throat, the door was forced open minutes later...
The russian soldiers walked in, they had been briefed that two highly
armed men had taken over the coms base and were definatly not
expecting two guys who stank of anti-freeze and were singing along to
a song about someones lady friend. They lowerd their guns and turned
to each other, the two drunkerds approached them, one of them,
wearing a bomber jacket and some baggy black jeans approached one of
them whilst the other fell over.. 'Are yous guyssh from the pub?'
Keats asked, swagering and supporting himself on the mans shoulder.
Jack threw up on the others trouser leg. 'Is shhed shat we would pay
the bill whenss i gesht paid, but..' Keats began to cry whilst jack
laughed oddly and vomited some more, before pulling himself up and
nestling his head in the mans shoulder. 'Dont mind him, hesh shust a
little drunk...' Jack started to snore. 'You want a little tipple'
Keats offerd the man a hip flask. The other one was trying to
politely wake up jack and was preoccupied. Taking his chances, Keats
pulled of a 'Friendly handshake' on the guard, which mainly consisted
of sharply elbowing the person in the stomach, then, as he doubled
over, bring his knee up into the approaching chin, the result, as was
always the same, was a man lying prone on the floor clutching several
areas at once, the other guard, who was somewhat slow, turned round
into the oncoming butt of Keats pistol-like weapon, he to, fell onto
the floor in muchos pain. Jack laughed and threw up again... 'Ok,
Jack, seal up the door, any second now theres gonna be a hell of alot
more of these guys coming through here....