The Not-So-Very-Nice Guests Epilogue

Flight deck of the Blue Dwarf . . .
I radio contacted Zack. "Stewie to Zack. Ran out of ink. Used
clock. Set for 2 minutes till detonation."
Zack was astounded. "2 minutes???!!! You won't escape alive!"
"I know. You leave with the crew, tell Nik to fly the ship."
"But I can't leave you there!!"
"Look >Tear-jerking music playing< I="I" was="was" put="put"
in="in" deep-space and I'm going to die in deep-space. Christine? I
know your there. I will always love you in spirit. Niples - thanks
for your support. And Zack - my .. sniff ... good friend. I didn't
get to know you much but I hope you do well at McKenzie's. Tell Smith-
Weston back there that he's temporalily in charge. And a last thing -
tell the Captain about this. Please ask him, if possible, to make me
a hologram. Preferably a Hard-Light Holo-
"Stewie ....."
There was no answer. Even the music had faded. Zack turned to
the crew. "Let's get out of here."
He spoke to thin air. The Space Beetle's hatch had already
closed behind the others, and the ship's engines were warming up.
Zack banged on the hatch until it opened a crack. "Password?"
Zack thought desperately for a minute. "Uh . . . buy one - get
one free?"
The hatch popped open and several hands snatched him by his
lapels and dragged him into the Space Beetle's interior.
Zack waited until they were several kilometers from the base
before saying "Of course, that's only if Smith-Weston approves the
sale."
If anyone replied, the shock wave drowned it out as the Space
Beetle was rocked by the base's explosion. Zack's radio abruptly
disappeared, as did Sean Connery, who had shoved Nik aside andbeen
piloting the ship.
Several barrel rolls later, the crew had the ship back under control.
Zack looked up at Commander Niples. "Did you catch the part
about the hard-light hologram?"
He didn't hear the Commander's response. He was lost in thought.
~When I activated Cubie the first time, she told me I'd regret
it. If I'd only known.~
Absent-mindedly he rubbed at a new set of scratches on his
sleeve.
~I'd have at least brought a spare suit!~
They landed back on Blue Dwarf, then headed to their different
departments to ensure that their copies had indeed disappeared. Zack
and the other members of McKenzie's staff entered the department
store with some trepidation. After a quick stop at Sporting Goods,
they felt better (and better armed). A sweep of the store took the
better part of a day, but everything was secured. The copies had
apparently closed the store and had been building a five-meter tall
anatomically correct statue of Stewie out of coat hangars, toasters,
and sealing caulk.
Zack turned to Smith-Weston. "Now what?"
Smith-Weston shrugged. "Go to Household Goods and get a mop and
bucket."
Zack blinked. "Did we get overtime for all this?"
Smith-Weston snorted as he headed up to his office.
The front door opened again, and twelve Zacks and Cubies walked
in carrying various cleaning utensils. "Hi, Zack! We're here to
help!"
Zack boggled. "Bwhu . . . ?"
The nearest Zack smiled condescendingly. "We're your future
selves. We remember being you and seeing all of us coming back to
help us out. Aren't we great?" There were several gratuitous
handshakes and a few hugs.
Smith-Weston returned, his jaw dropping as he took in the
sight. He still had a cricket bat in his hands, and he hefted it
menacingly. The first Zack caught him by the arm. "Whoa! These
aren't copies! They're my future selves!"
Smith-Weston glared at him. "If you think this will earn you
any overtime, you are sorely mistaken." Then he turned and stormed
back to the stairs.
The mess was cleaned in record time. Then Zack took a break and
went to pick up Cubie. He whistled optimistically. It was obvious
they'd been able to fix her.
Zack Richards (And Zack and Cubie and Zack and Cubie and Zack and
Cubie and Zack and Cubie and . . .)