Keto and Cerebrum (Deceased)

Who: Keto, Cerebrum
Where: Medibay, Psychbay
When: After Keto's BTL Experience and Cerebrum's Nearer Than Near
Death Experience
"Holly, I don't like this H on my forehead, remove it," Cerebrum
said, looking in his mirror.
"Ship's regulations clearly state that, at all times, holograms must
have an H visible on their forehead so that they can be recognized."
"Very well. Holly, take a message, send it to Space Corps command.
"After having psycho-analyzed the computer on board the Blue Dwarf, I
have come to the conclusion that it is suffering from advanced
computer senility, and should be erased and replaced-"
There was a faint shimmering, and the H disappeared. "Good," Cerebrum
thought for a minute. What should he do now that he was a hologram.
Of course. "Holly, set my transparency to fifty percent."
As he faded a bit, Cerebrum walked down to the medi-bay, rubbing his
hands together and grinning.
Meanwhile, Keto was feeling a little worse for wear. Having escaped
a simulated reality in which his every nightmare came true, he was
having a little trouble adjusting to reality.
"AAH! A DISEMBODIED HEAD!" he shrieked, as he turned a corner in a
corridor and saw Holly displayed on one of the many screens
throughout the ship. Then, when the computer looked a little
insulted, he suddenly remembered himself and coughed
nervously. "Ah. Holly. It's you."
"Nice to see you too, doc," said Holly, and vanished. Keto jumped as
the screen suddenly went black, then walked on, shaking slightly.
"I'm far too nervous," he muttered, "But everything will be fine,
just so long as I get to my good old medibay and can relax a little.
Everything will be absolutely fine..."
With that he reached the medibay doors and entered, hoping to find
rest and seclusion to recover from the threatening insanity.
What he did not hope to find was a translucent version of Cerebrum
sitting down behind Keto's desk and rifling through his papers. The
psychiatrist looked up as Keto entered. Instantly, Keto let out a
piercing yell and cowered behind a handy filing cabinet.
"A GHOST!" he yelled, before gibbering quietly.
"Keeeto! Keeeeto!" Cerebrum moaned, convincingly. "I am the Ghost of
Dr Cerebrum. I have come back from beyond the grave to haaaaauuunt
you! Rattle chains at night, open up doors mysteriously, spew
electoplasm and chase you through the maze like corridors of this
ship while you eat pellets, unless you eat a special one, in which
case you get to chase me! Oooooh!"
This was all too much for Keto, who with one final moan of terror
fled from the medibay and sprinted down the corridors, not daring to
look back in case he saw more ghosts or other scary things floating
down it after him.
"I need help," wailed Keto to himself, thereby stating something that
many other people had thought for a long time, "Now I'm actually
starting to see things! HOLLY!"
Holly appeared on a nearby screen, causing another fit of yelling
from Keto before he was able to continue, "I want you to book me an
appointment for a psychiatric session."
"You what?" frowned Holly. Even a completely senile computer had
picked up on the amount of friction between Keto and Cerebrum.
"I want my head examined," shivered Keto, "As soon as possible."
"Righto," shrugged Holly, an interesting manoeuvre for a disembodied
head, "I guess you'll be wanting to see a psychiatrist, then?"
"You're incredibly quick for a city-size supercomputer, you know?"
growled Keto, a little of his sarcasm making itself known. Holly
disappeared without another word, and Keto headed quickly (and
nervously) towards the psychiatric department (though it took him a
while to remember where it was now located).
Meanwhile, back in the medibay, Cerebrum looked up as Holly appeared
on the medibay screen.
"Keto wants to see a shrink," said the computer bluntly, and Cerebrum
smiled to himself.
"Muhahahahahahaha!" Cerebrum laughed. "Send him up to my office."
Several minutes later, Keto entered Cerebrum office. The chair was
turned so that the back was facing Keto, and he couldn't see who was
sitting in it.
"Lock doors," ordered Cerebrum, and with a click, all the egresses
from the room were sealed. Then he slowly rotated his chair to face
Keto, grinning widely.
There was a loud 'dong!', followed by a thud. Cerebrum's grin grew
slightly wider as he looked down at the prone form of Keto lying on
the floor, groaning, and then up at the Keto-shaped dent in the door.
"Nnggh...ghost..." managed Keto, eyes still not focussing properly
and making his vision of Cerebrum seem even more hazy and ghostly.
"Woooo-ooooo!" spake Cerebrum, quite enjoying himself, "I shall haunt
you forever!"
"!" groaned Keto.
"Unless," continued Cerebrum quickly, "You tell me the access code to
the medibay's budget account and your personal account!"
"Leave me...alone..." moaned Keto, still trying desperately to
focus, "'s 22-3a5-72-94-Alpha-2..."
"Yes, yes," nodded Cerebrum, pulling out a holographic notebook and
writing the code down, "And your personal account?"
"It's 90..." began Keto, and then frowned.
"Hang on..."
"WOOOOO-OOOO!" said Cerebrum urgently.
"Where did you get that notebook from?"
"Ghosts don't're a hologram, aren't you?" growled Keto,
"Okay, you found me out," said Cerebrum. "I got killed down on the
planet because of Dean's incompetent piloting, and it's all your
"My fault? What did I do?" asked Keto.
"I don't know. I just like blaming you, that's all."
"Why you son of a-" Keto started to shout.
"Let's be calm, now," Cerebrum said, crossing fingers. "Anyway, the
real reason why I lured you into my lair is to discuss my regrets."
"You're terminally insane, what possible regrets could you have."
Cerebrum continued, ignoring Keto. "It's about Jay Chrysler."
"Gah! Chrysler!" Keto exclaimed. "What possible regrets could you
have about him?"
"I feel the worst about him. I was always tormenting him, making fun
of him, grounding him and all the pilots for psychiatric reasons just
because I was bored. I never got to tell him that he was my son."
"What? Jay Chrysler is your son?"
"No. I just wanted to screw with his head one last time."
Keto was stopped in his tracks, looking less scared and more
thoughtful than he had for hours.
"A very interesting idea," he said eventually, "And one doubt that
would no doubt confuse and worry him no end. It would ruin his self-
image, smash his self-confidence and utterly mutilate his relations
with other people."
"You approve, then?"
"I'd even offer to claim to be a witness, if he'd actually lend
credence to anything I'd say," grinned Keto, "But somehow I don't
think he'd believe it."
"I need you to fake the DNA evidence for me," said Cerebrum, rubbing
his hands together. "You can do that for me, right?"
"I recall swearing an oath to do no harm," mused Keto. "But it was
the Hippocritic oath, which meant I swore to say one thing and do
another, so I can fake it for you."
"Excellent. Lovely," chortled Cerebrum.
"Well," said Keto, cracking his knuckles at the joyful prospect of
making Jay Chrysler's life a living hell, "Was there anything else,
or would you like me to get right on that?"
"Right away? As in, immediately?" asked Cerebrum, raising an
eyebrow. Keto shrugged.
"Well, no doubt I've got patients to see, and I want to find out
exactly why the ship lurched suddenly as if colliding with some alien
structures outside, but I think this little operation takes first
priority on my schedule. Any other diabolical plans you'd like to
share, or shall we set this one in motion?"
"I think we shall," nodded Cerebrum, with an evil grin. Keto
returned it and left the psychiatric offices, leaving them and the
corridor ringing with maniacal laughter as the two tried to out-do
each other with the evil laughing.
OOC: "Jay...I am your father." "NOOOOOOOOOOOO!" >:)
-- A Joint Post By --
Dr Patrick Cerebrum (Deceased)
Dr Charles Keto

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