Niples "One must not piss off despair squids"Posted by
Posted: Dec 6, 2003, 7:52am
Who: Seymour, Dean, Emma and Kara
Where: A damp fishy smelling room in the Eniram Submarine
When: While it is being attacked by Johnny and Amber
"Well, in that case." said Seymour, coming out from behind Dean,
straightening his suit, and pretending he hadn't been scared. "In
that case..." another blast rocked the submarine. "MUMMY!" he fell
to the floor cowering.
Dean looked at Emma, and they rolled their eyes.
"Honestly. Can you imagine this fool running an empire?" said Dean.
"Actaully." said Emma, putting her head to one side in a faux
quizzical manner, "I can."
"So can I." said Dean, and they strode over to Kara and the thing.
"So." said Dean, as they arrived. "What is it?"
Another blast rocked the ship and a tentacle unfolded itself from
the mass in front of them.
"It's a giant alien squid of some kind!" Seymour said.
"Then what's it doing inside a submarine?" asked Emma.
"Maybe the Eniram catch them for research, or farm them for food or
The tentacle started to move and lash around.
"Uh oh, I think its waking up!"
The squid let out a high pitched squeal.
"Whats it doing?" Asked Kara, preparing to bash it with a big lead
"Maybe its calling for help or maybe it's only an infant and it's
calling for its mother?" said Seymour thoughtfully. "We should check
if its fully grown, the last thing we need to worry about is its 10
times bigger mother coming and devouring this ship whilst we're in
it! You can tell if a squids fully grown by seeing if its sexual
organs are fully developed "
"You want to look at a squids bits?!" Said Emma. "That's kinda sick "
"No " Said Seymour. "I want Dean to do it!"
He pushed Dean towards the squirming big squid, which took up most
of the room. Its tentacles were sprawled everywhere. Dean
reluctantly looked around for a bit then turned around.
"Anyone have any idea where a squid's sexual organs are supposed to
be?" Everyone shrugged and he gave up.
Another shot hit the sub making them all tumble to one size, this
was a big one. Water started gushing into the room from the roof,
the submarine was going down.
"We have to get out of here!" Seymour shouted over the roar of
"Hang on a second!" Said Kara beating the squid with her pipe.
Dean picked up some air tanks and breathing apparatus from a nearby
crate and gave one to everyone. The room soon filled with water and
they all swam out of a huge gash in the side of the submarine,
leading directly out into the ocean.
Swimming away, they could see the Aeron fighter finish off the
Eniram submarine, which ripped into pieces, then went all floppy as
Johnny experimented with the fighters de-ridgidizer ray.
But something survived, an Eniram swam out of the sub with a harpoon
gun in his hand. He started swimming towards them at Olympic record
The BD swimmers looked around for what to do. Not too far away they
could see a dome shaped underwater base, similar to the first Eniram
base they encountered. It was their only hope and started swimming
Seymour looked back to see if the Eniram was following, and saw
another survivor. The squid had survived too, and swiftly grabbed
the Eniram into its mouth, but not before the Eniram could fire his
harpoon gun, which embedded itself into the squids soft skin.
In pain and scared, the squid let out a high pitched squeal and
excreted a thick cloud of ink, which spread in the water and covered
the swimming dwarfers.
"Is that a big pink elephant?" Said Seymour in a load of bubbles,
"No, but why have you turned into a penguin wearing a ballgown?"
Replied Dean, also hallucinating.
The squid was a despair squid and its big ass mother was coming