JP: Battling and bowling; fun for all the family!

"Unueually direct this time" remarked Jay
"Yup..I think we're gonna need some re-informents.."
"Is it me or are his eyes black?"
"Thought so...It's Evil Phil.."<END SNIP>Jay picked up Deans head, deliberately grabbing it as roughly as he could by the ears. "You know mate" he said "This will probably the most useful thing you'll ever do" "Why thank you." said Dean, "if I had a body that was held together with something stronger then UHU I wouldn't stand for this..." Jay looked at him, "Ok, I would, but I'd make some mildly offensive gestures behind your back...." started DeanJay still looked at him, "Ok, so I'd buy you a beer normally, but, aww.. smeg." said Dean.Jay nodded, and turned around, but he stopped dead, "Oh boys!", the voice of his dear, sweet wife cut through the atmosphere like a thing with a cutting edge that was very sharp."Pretend you cant hear her?" Dean suggested "Oh you can do better then that Lt. Thomas, how could anyone not hear that?! It's like fingernails on a blackboard!" Jay said, exasperated; Jay wheeled round to face Alota, "Yes sweetie?""You mind perhaps....HELPING US TO FIGHT EVIL PHIL?!""Sorry buddy..." said Jay looking again at Dean"What? Why?"
Dean soon got his answer, as Jay tossed Dean's head at Evil Phil. Dean had many thoughts as his cranium flew through the air. Many were to do with beating up Jay, others were to do with Jasmine, and at least 1 was about whether he had left the gas on. His reverie was cut short by a sharp <CLUNK> as his head connected with EP, and they both fell to the ground.
EP got up. Dean smiled at him from the ground, "Sub-anti-dis-mind?" Dean asked tentatively. EP scowled.
"Smeg" said Jay, as he watched Dean's impact with Evil Phil, "I forgot he owes me money!""When did you lend him money?" Alota asked"Actually..more accurately YOU lent him money, I couldn't find my wallet so I took some from yours...""WHAT?!""HEY! You're the captain you earn more than me! Besides, it's a joint account....""I hate to interrupt people!" Deans voice bellowed across the field "But I am in somewhat considerable pain. I'm being skewered like a doner kebab!""Dean, they aren't skewered, they come in pitta bread." Jay yelled towards his second in command,"Hey, artistic licence!" shouted back the slightly mauled disembodied head. "Besides, if I'm to pay you back, you need to rescue me.""That a promise!? If we rescue you you'll pay us back?""Sounds like a good deal to me." said Dean, before his tongue was stuck into the ground with a pole."How come you aren't dead?" asked EP, as he kicked Dean's head."I have no idea." said Dean, "and how come I can talk to you whilst my tongue is skewered into the ground?""Beats me." said EP, just as Jay launched himself at him.
Jay burst into flame as he launched himself at Evil Phil, flying at full speed into his best friends doppleganger. "Oh please..." Evil Phil mumbled "Dennis!" he shouted to one of the nearby wraiths, who promptly pulled out a fire extunguisher, Jay dodged the spray from the canister, and hovered next to Evil Phil, and quickly set fire to his eyebrows. EP, not missing a beat kicked Dean's head into the air and flew straight into Jay. Jay, winded, fell to the ground whilst Dean flew on, his hair on fire, his head flying straight into the Captain of the Blue Dwarf:
Alota Chrysler."Apologies ma'am,""Git.""Could you possibly chuck me back that way?" said Dean, signalling with his eyes back towards the fight.Alota picked him up and threw him as best she could. Dean hit the ground 3 yards away."You throw like a girl you know." he chided, as she kicked his head down the hill back towards the flight. Her aim was spot on, and Dean's head smacked straight into EP's feet, knocking him to the ground."I KNEW throwing things at Jay every day would come in handy" Alota mused, as she lowered her sunglasses and shot a wraith off his horse with her power, Jay shook his head and got back in the air. "OK!" He shouted "NOW I'M PISSED!""Is that the American sense or the British sense of the word?" asked EP."What, why?" asked Jay, caught off guard."One means angry, and one means completely inebriated." chipped in Dean usefully from his position in the weeds next to EP's feet. EP suddenly leapt at Jay, but missed, and landed in the grass."Well, you're the latter." said Jay, "but I'm distinctly the former!" he yelled, shooting a fireball at EP.
A JP between Andy and Chris, aka Jay "Fireball" Chrysler and Dean "Anti-sub-dis-mind" Thomas

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