Kayn on Blue, erm, Chocolate?
Kayn crashed into blue dwarf. His examiner immediatly died on impact, but Kayn was saved by the airbag. Leaping out in his space suit he tried to walk to the air lock.
He found something bizare had happened to the ship - it was chocolate, well, it was a Quality Street chocolate wrapped up in that annoying blue foil paper. Hadn't anyone else noticed that the ship had turned into a confectionary item?
It then clicked. This was a hallucinagenic-super virus. It made whatever he wanted come true. But, it was also secretly trying to kill him.
How? How can you die by chocolate? He was about to press the button that took off his helmet when he realised how it was going to kill him.
How can someone eat a chocolate as big as this? He decided to find the Captain, may be he could get more sense out of him as to why this was happening. He found the airlock, which seemed to lead straight into the u-bend of a toilet pan...
Cannon's Office
Kayn was met with Cannon holding a shotgun, hiding behind some sandbags and wearing a quite goofy looking World War 2 allies helmet covered with branches from his bonsai garden. He pointed the gun at Kayn, cutting his finger on the barbed wire on top of the fort.
'Pixie! Fire men FIRE!' screamed the obsessed Captain before firing off two buckshot rounds at the retreating Kayn. Kayn ran round to the side of the door and slumped down. His heart seemed to jump out of his skin. He then heard the captain mutter
'This is for you Johnny, and you Clide, and for you Bonnie and Mabel and George, and that person that used to give me a pat on the head for being a good boy and...' a loud explosion followed, with a large release of purple coloured gas. Cannon had held a laughing-gas grenade too long...
Kayn put on an oxygen mask and walked in to the office. Cannon was asleep, laughing silently and muttering the words 'Pixies' , 'Blue Peter' and 'Hazelnut chocolate' over and over again.
There was one thing for it. He had to get a cure for the disease - but first he needed everyone in Quarentine, just in case things got a LITTLE out of hand.
He dragged Cannon off to quarentine, starting to formulate a plan to take the ship back to a sense of 'Normality'
Suddenly, a flashing light came from the sensor. Aparently, a huge hole was appearing in engineering. Someone, or something, had been eating away at the hazelnut chocolate.
"THAT'S MINE YOU EVIL SPAWN OF SATIN' shouted Kayn. Then he noticed something peculiar. His hair had grown, a large book was inside his hand, and a butter knife in the other.
He had transformed into the thing he secretly hated most on Blue Dwarf. He was Doom!
(Heh...Chocolate..DON'T EAT TOO MUCH OR I SHALL UNLEASH THE SPAWN OF KENNY THE FLATULENT HAMSTER AND HIS EVIL FOUL-SMELLING BRETHREN...hey, I'm pretty good at this...)
Why Harris fears Charlie Dimmock in my opinion
Ground Force was cancelled due to one mishap. They visited the Harris residence and dug the garden perfectly. Charlie had even made a waterfall appear on the relitivly flat land. One problem though - they had lost the little boy that they were meant to be babysitting. They found him with his dolls house in a cave where he had been buried under the water feature. That little boy, was Major Nutter Harris...