\"You didn\'t say piss shirt bend bar\" - quote \'Shanghai Noon\'
Jack was about to start untying the ropes their wrists, when he heard
a voice behind him, "NOT SO FAST-SKI!"
Who: Seymour's scout party - inc CK, Python, Melissa, Johnny, Eric
and Efof, plus the rest of the landing party - Jay, Alota, Phill,
Jack, Chris etc.
As Jack, Phill, Jay etc were fighting Stalin, the still-tied
captives were surrounded again by the smart undead, who forced the
captives down a corridor.
"Stop them," Jack noticed as he heard Melissa's call for help, "we
must free them."
Jack suddenly found another reservoir of strength as he chased down
the undead, unleashing a leaping kick at the head of one of the
zombies. During the commotion, Eric smashed his forehead against the
captor who was holding him.
As Jack was about to pistol whip another undead with his machine
gun, he was startled as he was suddenly lifted off the ground.
"You must not worry about them-ski." Stalin smiled evilly-ski as he
held Jack off the ground-ski. "My people will take care of your
Stalin then threw Jack towards a wall, where he lay, exhausted.
"Don't worry about us!" Seymour yelled out. "I'll save us all!"
Then Jay noticed Eric winking at him, and he ordered "They'll be
fine, we have a battle here to fight."
* * * * * *
Seymour's group were lead to a prison, surrounded with thick iron
bars, spaced only two inches apart.
"Oh," said Seymour when the undead left to return to the
fight, "it's going to be harder than I thought to break out of
"Don't worry." Eric whispered. "As a private eye I have been locked
in worse places, and these smegskulls didn't quite manage to find
everything I have."
With his hands still tightly tied behind his back, Eric was still
able to press a button on his left wristband with the thumb on his
right hand. Then, a small whirring noise could be heard as a little
circular saw cut through his bonds. He still kept the two bits of
ropes on his wrists, so he could make the zombie guards think he was
still tied if he kept his wrists nehind his back.
He silently walked around cutting everyone else's bonds and
motioning for them to talk about lots of other things aside from
their ropes being cut.
"Looks like we're stuck here for a while then," Johnny said loudly
with fake dispair, for the benfit of the two guards.
As Eric cut Seymour's bonds last, Seymour said "Thanks Eric, I knew
you would cut me free sooner or later."
As everyone else sworeunder their breath, the two guards turned
around and pointed their weapons at the captives in the cell. While
the others pretended to be still tied up, Seymour waved his arms
around in a show of bravado, challenging the two undead guards to a
fight to the death.
One of the guards unlocked the cell door, as the other one pointed
his weapon at the group. The gurad that unlocked the door then
entered and whacked Seymour in the head with the butt of his rifle.
In the next instant, CK and Eric pulled hidden weapons out of the
various recesses of their clothing and shot one guard each in the
heart, causing the undead guards to stumble backwards. Johnny and
Python grabbed the dropped rifles and finished off the guards with
shots to the head.
"Wow," Johnny exclaimed, "these rifles are awesome!"
"Yeah!" Python agreed. "They help you aim for whatever part of the
taget that you wish, and inform you of the best shot.
"It said to defeat these undead warriors, you need to shoot them in
the heart and the brain." Johnny said.
"But it also lists different types of these undead smegheads."
Python paused as he utilized the computer data stored in the
weapon. "About ten different types, and all of them have different
"What about Stalin?" CK asked.
"Um," said Johnny as he searched for Stalin's data. "It's
classified! As is the GELF's!"
"Damn!" CK swore.
"We'd better get back to the rest." Melissa said. "I think I
remember the way."
"Don't worry," Eric assured them, "I've memorized it exactly. Turn
"I wonder how Jack and the others are faring now..." Python mused.
"Oh, it doesn't matter." Seymour said. "You saw how I created that
diversion that saved us. All we need is for me to create some more
brilliant tactics and it'll be no problem!"