**Action** "Ready to Die?"

***Action Post***
Who: Seymour Niples
Where: Barren winderness
When: After the Zombie hordes started chasing him
Seymour panted as he ran, it was coming up to midday now and the sun
was making him very hot. In fact the sun wasn't really a sun at all,
it was the compression of many suns compacted together at the
galactic core.
`No wonder it's bloody hot' Seymour thought.
He looked behind, the undead weren't even tiring. "Hang on a
second…. I'm Seymour the great, Seymour the invincible! I can kill
all these with my bare hands, because I'm so cool, and everyone will
celebrate me as a hero…. An action hero…. People will want me to be
in films! Wow, I'm the coolest Royal Ambassador ever- BRING IT ON!"
He turned and stood still, as the zombies ran at him. Seymour
clenched his fists confidently.
The first wall of rampaging zombies flattened him.
There was a few seconds of confusion as the zombie army turned
around, wondering where the human had gone. Then they found him
passed out on the floor and dragged him back to the cave.
Who: Python, CK, Melissa, Johnny, Eric, Efof, Jay, Alota, Phil, Jack
Where: Walking back to base camp
Jay and Alota took point, hoping everyone was following. While they
were nearly at base camp, Jay walked to the back of the group and
did a head count.
"Where's Chris Harris?"
People looked around but nobody could see him.
"Well… so far we've lost Seymour and Harris," Jay paused. "This
isn't turning into such a bad mission after all!"
"Jay look!" Said Phil at the front of the group. He pointed towards
base camp, which they could now see from the ridge they just passed.
Jay looked ahead. "Down, everyone down!"
Everyone laid low and got out their binoculars to view base camp.
"It looks like all the crew are tied up! Those zombies attacked
while we weren't there!"
They could see one man with a large double sided axe patrolling
around the tied up crewmembers.
"Who is that?" Asked Jay.
"I think… by the looks of his animal skin clothes, menacing
demeanour and horned helmet… Genghis Kahn." Said Eric.
"I'm more worried about who is trying to fly the Space Eagle" Said
Alota. "I think it's Atilla the hun, and he was never exactly famous
for his space craft piloting skills…"
"Yeah well he better stay away from the Phoenix…" Said Jay and
Atilla the hun shakily managed to hover the Space Eagle a few meters
in the air, and then lurch it forward, scraping the side of the
Phoenix. The scratch was so big they could see if from where they
Jay started to go bright red. Phil held him back.
Another undead got into the Raven and started loading lots of troops
into the back.
"What are they doing?" Asked Phil.
"By the looks of that army they're loading into the Raven, I think
they're going to invade somewhere…"
"But where? Theres no way that any of these ships can get through
that barrier around the centre of the galaxy, the only ship that can
"The Blue Dwarf, they're after the Blue Dwarf!" Said Jay.
"Its only manned by a skeleton crew at them moment, it'll be easy
for them to take control unless we stop them."
"And then they'll have another skeleton crew!" Joked Efof, but
nobody was listening.
Who: Seymour Niples and Chris Harris
Where: Back in the Devil Gelf's cave
Seymour was dragged kicking and screaming into the cave and tied to
a stake next to Chris Harris.
"You can't do this to me, I'm a Royal Ambassador! And I'm a cool one
at that!"
The zombies left him and Chris piped up. "Seymour! I'm so glad to
see you, I thought everyone would leave me behind!"
"Ah, no chance of that now." Said Seymour. "They would never leave
anyone so important behind as me now, so we'll be rescued any time
now…. ANY TIME NOW….."
"That's odd, where are all the undead guards… the big army that was
massing in here earlier?"
"I saw them all leave. They must be planning an invasion or
something." Said Chris.
"The Blue Dwarf is in danger! We must warn them!" Seymour said
dramatically, and trying to free his wrists which were tied up, but
then gave up.
"So how did you get captured?" Asked Seymour.
"Well funny story really, after some medical treatment I was a
little confused and thought I was actually Hitler… so came with the
away mission, but the ACTUAL undead Hitler found me and caught me.
He wasn't too impressed. He keeps coming in every half an hour and
slapping me… oh here he is now."
A skeletol Hitler came in and slapped Harris with a dead fish, then
walked off again.
As he left, there was a stomping noise of heavy footsteps. They
could see the shadow of a horned monster coming towards them. "Crap,
it's the Devil!" Said Chris.
The Devil stood tall before them, his skin flickering red in the
light of a nearby flaming torch. His assistant Perkins the small
gelf with the body of a goat and the face of a weedy little man hid
behind the Devil's leg.
"So, these are the only prisoners we have left? What a shame… but
soon we will have more, many more! Kill them!"
"Hang on a second, how dare you order to kill a Royal Ambassador!"
Said Seymour. "That is an act of war against the Royal Commonwealth!"
"SILENCE! Because I am evil, I am going to explain my plan before
you die… so that when you DO die, we can use this spirit generator
to bring your undead form back to work for MEEE!"
"Why do you want us?" Asked Chris.
"QUIET AND LET ME EXPLAIN!!! You see, we are going to take over your
ship in orbit, and use it to get back to Earth, and to get anywhere
close we will need to get through security checks…. Which means we
need certain members of your crew to provide security access codes
and voices for voice recognition."
"So that's why you want someone as important as me?" Asked Seymour.
"Actually I've been doing some research on your ship…. And out of
1069 crewmembers, you are the 987th most important member… so NO!
When you die you can just be a foot soldier in my army!"
The devil started to walk off. "Now you must excuse me, I have an
army to command and a ship to invade. Perkins, see that they die….
"Yes sir." Squeeked Perkins.
The little goat turned on the Spirit Generator that was in the room
with them.
"This will generate some rather nasty undead beings… I think you
should find them very familiar… in fact… you killed them. I think
they might want revenge!"
Perkins quickly exited, leaving the machine humming.
Out of the swirling pool walked one Space Pirate, two fishy Eniram
warriors and finally…. A Hymenoptera spider soldier.
"What do we have here?" Said The Pirate, readjusting his eye
patch. "Some of those bloody Blue Dwarfers… I wish we'd blew up your
ship when we had the chance."
The Eniram said something in their slobbery fishy language, and
raised their harpoons.
The Hymenoptera screeched.
"Oh dear" Said Seymour.
<tag chris!>

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