**Action** "McDonalds Corporation"Posted by
Posted: Feb 19, 2005, 8:30am
By Onion and John Smith
Who: Efof, CK, Amber, John Keats
Where: Street, Earth
When: Early evening, 2104 (Actually guys it was supposed to be 2105
but I misspelled it on the first post but didn't want to say
Then, by chance, a slight stumble saved his life. A Rifle crack
scattered near by faceless pedestrians and a bullet made a shop
window explode next to him. John's blood turned to ice as he threw
himself into Amber and through the shop door as a second round took
out a street light above the door. Across the street and on a
balcony was a covered gunman, rifle to eye and balanced on his
knees. He swore and quickly reloaded the bolt action rifle and took
aim again, landing a shot not an inch from John's face. He felt the
bullet scorch the air.
Efof and CK ducked behind a large bin behind a bar on the street to
take cover from the gunmen. Callum dived into a bag of rubbish then
immediately regretted it.
Efof peered his head around the bin and almost got his genitals shot
off. "We're under attack! Amber and Keats are on the other side of
Callum emerged from some bin bags reeking of rubbish. "Man, getting
shot isn't worth this!"
"Shh, and get down!" Said Efof.
They heard footsteps approaching and remained still.
Suddenly, Efof felt a gun to his head. "You're coming with me!" Said
Efof gingerly stood up, CK too both holding up their hands.
"Jack?" Asked Efof seeing his captors face.
"Do I know you?" Asked Jack, who was wearing a dark black leather
jacket, leather gloves and leather trousers, and an "M" shaped
symbol on his arm.
Who: John Smith
Where: Superior Defence Laboratories
When: After killing the robotic buggers
Smith clambered out of the cramped manhole, covered in DELETED BY
CENSOR and tiny bugger debris.
The engineering team leader and the man recently revealed to be his
father stepped backward and covered their noses.
Smith's visor flipped open buzz-lightyear style with yet another
infuriatingly unnecessary burst of steam.
"They're history folks, what happens now."
"We'll talk about that later."
"How about we talk about it NOW, or I'll stand here in this CENSORED
IN THE NAME OF DECENCY encrusted suit and stink up the whole place!"
"Ok! What do you want?!", choked the senior Smith.
"All I want is some insurance that you won't just kick me out again".
His holographic father thought about this for a while, then
grinned. "Well I do have a little job for you something that is
very important, you may enjoy it!"
Smith raised an eyebrow as his father continued.
"We have a god deal going with the McDonalds Corporation, I told you
earlier that they now have their own personal army."
"You've been making weapons for McDonalds?!!" Said Smith.
"Of course, they are very good clients of ours, they pay well. We
developed that gun that you're holding for them, they call it
the `McPhoton Launcher'."
Smith groaned. "So what's the job?"
"Well the McDonalds Corporation need a new General for their army,
they've so far been employing their own staff, but unfortunately
realised that high school students and college drop-outs make lousy
"So they want me to be a General in their army!" Smith was liking
the sound of it. " But you do realised I did get sacked from even
the Radio Shack?"
"Don't worry its McDonalds, they have worse employees."
Where: McDonalds corporation Army hanger
Who: Efof, CK, Jack Febuggure and John Smith
When: A few hours later
Efof and CK sat tied to chairs in the middle of a massive empty
hanger, empty all except some bulky machinery in the corners which
were covered with white sheets.
"Now what are we going to do?" Callum complained.
As he spoke, a big door opened and an entire squadron of soldiers
marched towards them, paused and raised their guns at Efof. Jack
Febuggure walked around them and looked at Efof.
"We believe this one is an alien, we must perform some tests and
dissection immediately!" Jack said, with absolutely no remorse in
Efof started to whimper.
A new person entered the room, it was John Smith. He looked a little
lost. He walked up to Jack and Introduced himself.
"Hello there, John Smith reporting for service sir!" He saluted.
Jack saluted back. "General Jack Febuggure of the McDonalds
Corporation army. We have been expecting you, and you are here right
on time! Firstly I want to congratulate you on your family business
having provided us with so much weapons and equipment."
Jack continued. " And I also want to introduce you to your troops."
John rubbed his hands together. He had troops!
"Are these my troops?" He asked, pointing to the squadron in the
"Oh no, no. We have some newer recruits for you!" Said Jack, and
pressed a button to open a door on the other side of the room.
John turned around to the sound of many feet marching into the room.
"That's a lot of feet " John thought to himself.
As he saw the army, he gasped.
They were jet black, had six legs and eight eyes, and had robotic
attachments on their insect-like bodies.
Efof gasped, and feinted.
"Are they are they . Hymenoptera?" Asked John.
"HYMENOPTERA?!" shouted a startled Callum, and started to try and
squirm out of the chair he was tied to.
The large insects marched into the room and formed up into ranks.
"Yes, they are Hymenoptera." Said Jack. "I'm surprised both of you
have heard of them, they are an alien race that we haven't had any
contact with before."
"Yes we have!" Shouted Efof, and then realised that in this parallel
timeline they obviously hadn't.
"Of course, if the Blue Dwarf was never launched, then nobody would
have even heard of the Hymenoptera." Said Callum.
Jack and John walked over to the Hymenoptera. "So what are the
robotic attachments?" John asked.
"Exoskeletons . Provided by your company." Said Jack. "It allows
them to use the McPhoton launchers that we have equipped them with.
They don't have much of a grip you see, it's the lack of hands. We
feel that it makes them much more formidable warriors."
"Also, the exoskeleton provides them with limited speech. You see
the Hymenoptera don't speak the same way that we do, it involves
sticking their feelers in the base of our necks to speak
telepathically. Messy stuff really."
Jack walked over to one Hymenoptera warrior. "What is your purpose
The Hymenoptera spoke back in a cold, dry, metallic, synthesised
"KILL" it said.
"Good, and who do you serve?"
"Not anymore, now you follow the orders of General Smith here. And
pledge your allegiance to the McDonalds Corporation."
"YES" said the warrior.
"Limited vocabulary, but its better than nothing." Jack whispered to
John gulped again. "So this is MY squadron, that I can control?"
Jack nodded. "Yes. And I want you to lead them on a training
exercise as soon as possible."
"Yes, theres a small country we have a problem with, I want you to
lead a mission to . Neutralise them."
"Oh?" Said John. Getting nervous.
"Yes, Scotland. The McDonalds corporation are having too much
problem with Scottish people using the same name for their own
restaurants. You invade tomorrow."
John gulped again.
Jack turned away and walked back to the tied up Efof. "I want this
alien dissected and studied immediately, in fact- I think I'll watch
<OOC- Over to John Smith, Jack and Callum!>