Niples - "A days work for an Ambassador" pt 2

Who: Seymour Niples
When: Friday Night
Where: Parrotts Bar.. yes thats right, Seymour is actually in
Parrotts on a friday night
As unusual as it was to see Seymour in a crowded bar on a friday
night, he actually was. And this was not because of the deranged
inpulses his confused brain was having to try and make himself more
popular with the crew, he had now in fact decided to ignore those
and be the nitpicky, selfish and arrogant person he always has been.
Seymour was actually here because it was the terms of the last deal
he had signed, he had been the first person ever to bring the
warring Aerons and Eniram together. The surviving few of each race
had agreed to come together and fight the Hymenoptera as they
attenpt to attack Earth, nomatter how pointless that seemed. In fact
it probably spelled extinction for both races. But for now they
And they had brought Seymour to celebrate with them.
A large long table had been set up in Parrotts Bar, and the Aerons
and Eniram sat opposite each other. Some were still giving death-
glances, but most were getting along and enjoying themselves. The
beer helped of course.
Two warriors toasted their pint glasses above Seymour's head,
spilling some on him. Seymour complained and wiped it off in
"Do you know how hard it is to get a beer stain out of… oh never
mind!" He realized his complaints were falling on deaf ears, as the
celebrations were too loud.
Both alien races discussed things they had in common, like fighting
tactics, weapons, strategy, and how to mame your enemy in vicious
and nasty ways. Which they all agreed they were going to do to the
As they discussed which would be the most excruciating part of a
Hymenoptera to kick it in, Seymour decided he'd had enough merriment
for one night and skulked off.
He saw Jenny sat at the bar on her own, and considered walking on as
every time they had met lately had been an awkward moment.
Especially after what happened on New Ibiza (which he'd vowed to
kill anyone who ever spoke of it). But she had got them freed from
the Customs office, and he had never properly thanked her for that.
He walked up alongside her and felt another awkward moment coming on
as she didn't see him straight away. He noticed she was only
drinking a soft-drink, but didn't' make any connection.
"Miss Bond?" He said.
She looked up and there was a flash of panic in her eyes.
"Seymour… hello."
A few thoughts flashed through Jenny's headfirst she wondered if she
should tell him about their developing baby, which Seymour still
didn't know about. She worried which would be the best moment to
tell, and what would Seymour's reaction be. She also wondered what
she could get out of the situation if she could somehow use the
situation to blackmail him. Her third thought about Seymour was
seeing him in the Customs office on New Ibiza, just after he'd been
….. probed.
She laughed in Seymour's face.
Seymour scowled as he realized instantly what she was thinking about.
"Grow up Miss Bond!" He said angrily and turned to storm out of the
Jenny stepped towards him and put a hand on his shoulder to stop him
from leaving. "No Seymour, don't go. I'm sorry."
Seymour turned around to face her, but said nothing. He just
retained his look of distain that he looked down at all Blue Dwarf
crewmembers with. It was a look that suggested he had eyes in his
nose, because he was definitely looking at her from out of it.
She bit her lip. Now was as good a time as any.
"Seymour… I have to tell you something. Something impor-"
"It's alright Jenny." Seymour said.
Jenny stopped, wondering if he knew what she was going to say or if
he was just guessing. There was a short pause until Seymour spoke
"Weight gain for women your age can have many causes, but you can
control it by a specially tailored diet."
Jenny's eyes bulged in shock. "What?"
"Don't worry. Dr Keto can help you."
Her eyes narrowed. "Well you can just SMEG OFF!!!"
Sensing he had said the wrong thing, Seymour made his way to the
door. Although didn't understand why. He had tried to help her, and
he was sure that he had dealt with the sensitive subject with
his `usual' amount of charm and sophisication.
Unfortunately that was the problem, Seymour had far less charm and
sophistication than he thought.
As he left the bar, he heard a ruckus coming from the back table,
and a waitress came over to him.
"Mr. Nipples sir!"
"Yes sorry, Mr. Niples sir, the Aerons and Eniram are fighting.
Something about who won the battle of Deneb?"
Seymour sighed and pointed to Jenny at the bar. "You see that young
lady over there? She's a top-level negotiator working for the Queen
of England. She'll sort them out."
He quickly exited the bar.
<OOC - Tag Jenny!>

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