The Morning After Sitcom and is something burning?

"Excuse me, but am I supposed to report to you?" he asked"Your are new pilot right? one we picked up after Earth bit the big one?" said Dean"Yeah""Well, glad to have you aboard. we need all the best pilots we can get. I try to keep an informal crew so you can relax man." "ok, what do you want me to do?"
"What," said Dean slowly, "do I want you to do?"
"Yes. As in, what can I do for you?" asked Peter.
Dean exhaled slowly. "Well, the Blue Dwarf is just sitting here, and nothing much is scheduled to happen. Except of course for the use of the wormhole drive, which not only is experimental technology but which also has been repaired without the supervision of the chief engineer and by an engineering crew with the combined IQ of 4. Aside from that.... I could do with a coffee?"
"Feel better sir?""Much." said Dean, nodding, and watching as Jay and the others offloaded into the landing bay from the Starbug. He then flicked the comm, "Umm.. could we have Phil, Jay, Tara" and other assorted notables on the bridge please? Only we're going to go for a wormhole jump I believe, and I don't want to be the one on the bridge to take the blame if it it all goes tits up." He flicked the comm switch off. "Make it a strong black one."
Peter walked across to the coffee machine and scrabbled around to find a cup. "So, aside from the urgent requirements of huge amounts of both coffee and hope regarding the wormhole drive, what else has been going on?" said the pilot, pouring a cup from the coffee filter.
"Well, we've got our own soap opera going on down in the medibay. Come and have a look."
Peter walked back with the cup of aforementioned liquid.
"What's up?"
Dean gestured at the screen which was relaying footage from the camera in the medibay. "Well, it seems that there's a baby, a couple in trouble and a third man, not to mention Keto looking decidedly uncomfortable at not being able to solve the situation with ointment,"
Just then Chris pulled a knife.
"HOLY SMEGGING HELL!" yelled the Blue Dwarf's second highest ranked pilot?
"I know, I'm shocked as well, what should we do?" said Peter, panicking slightly at the prospect of a rather brutal stabbing taking place on ship.
"I don't know, but next time you get a shock, I have this advice for you."
"Keep ahold of the coffee cup." Dean signalled at his loins, which currently were gently steaming after Peter had dropped the cup on the them. "And Peter? For god's sake get me some tissues and some ice. Quickly. Then phone medibay and tell them that once a) the civil war down there is finished and b) we've made this wormhole drive jump, he's going to have two new patients."
"Two sir?"
"Yes, me. And you."
"Ah." said Peter, worriedly thinking he may have screwed things up a bit.
"Nah forget it. I'm joking. About that bit anyway. I was serious about the tissues and the ice. And the advice about the coffee cup ok?"
"Ok." said Pete, relieved and heading towards the nearest men's bathroom to get some toilet paper.
Dean "OW! MY CROTCH!" Thomas

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