Peter Marwood and the Monkey Wrench of Doom
Who: Peter Marwood (Deceased)
Where: His Cabin
When: Concurrent with recent events
Marwood lay on his bed thinking over the past few hours. He'd met
his new roommate, an older man from Ireland called Eddie, before the
Captain called Eddie away for `business'. Marwood didn't know if
this business was merely financial or if it were sexual. And
frankly, he didn't want to know. He sighed heavily, he'd been back
onboard ship less than a day and was already bored.
He'd spent his month or so of Shore Leave getting over his death -
he'd spent time meditating, thrill seeking and generally living it
up. He'd faced death and now had a relatively indestructible and
immortal body so there was little left to be scared of. Except, of
course, BooBahs. Since their aborted invasion of 2006, mankind had
been bred with a fear of them. He picked up his Walkman and set it
to random, it had over nineteen billion songs stored on there, so it
could be anything from Led Zepplin to James Last. After a while, he
drifted into a doze with music playing. He vaguely heard Holly
announce something or other about something in the air ducts.
The monkey wrench that came crashing down on his head, mere seconds
later, came as a complete shock. The gloved hands pulled him out of
bed and onto the floor, where they began to savagely beat him.
Thankfully his training in self defence took action and he was able
to fight them off and flee out into the corridor. He fled, vaguely
aware that his attackers were coming after him. He must have run a
good mile of corridors, stairways and gantries before coming to a
rest in the engineering section - the bowels of the ship. He looked
around for a monitor and called up Holly, his face pixilating into
existence on the screen.
"Wotcha Pete?" smiled Holly in his North London accent
"No time to chat Holly, some guys just tried to mug me, in my
quarters. What in the name of Smeg is going on?" Marwood was
puzzled. He went out of his way not to offend people, so wanted to
know who these people were. All he knew is they were wearing
anachronistic racing gear - that and they were completely black and
"Oh that, just some virus that got released, nothing to worry about -
the Doc's working on it as we speak" replied Holly, calmly.
"What Virus Holly?" sighed Marwood. Once, Just once, he wanted Holly
to get straight to the point.
"Well, a few years back, we ran into this weird mutated virus right,
which made everyone's hallucinations and dreams come to life" said
"So, those guys chasing me - they came from my mind?" said Marwood,
slowly gaining an understanding of the situation.
"That's about the size of it, yeah" said the baffled computer.
The two-tone bikers decided to make an appearance at this moment,
but Peter was ready for them. He had used his power of imagination
to change into a punk leather jacket & jeans combo, complete with
chains and spikes. He was ready. Plus, he now had his own Monkey
"Come on then!" he cried at them, waving his monkey wrench about.
The first one came flying at him, but Marwood crouched down and
flung him over his shoulder into the wall, his head making a
cracking sound. The other attempted to get into fisticuffs with
Marwood, but Marwood had - in his hallucinations - become a master
of Su-Do-Ko - the deadly martial arts practiced by the Ta-Ba-loid
monks of Murdoch Nine. He easily disarmed the attacking man and sent
him hurtling over the rails. He wasn't real, so it wasn't really
murder was it?
"Bing Bong" said Holly's dull voice over the intercom "All people
suffering from hallucinations, please report to Doctor Keto's office
immediately. To all people not suffering from hallucinations, report
to Psychiatrics for assessment."
Marwood wondered if there would be a cure readily available for a
hologram. In fact, he wondered if this would be the perfect
opportunity to get his body back. Being hardlight was all well and
good, but it didn't make up for being alive again. Maybe there was a
way out of this. As a JMC crewmember, he had access to a Stasis Pod -
if he could willingly hallucinate he was human again, and then
froze himself until the ship had been cleared of hallucinogenic. It
could work, or it couldn't - it was a risk he was willing to take.
He moved down the deck to the Xpress Elevator and called up Level
427 - The Stasis Deck.
"Time" he thought to himself "for the Resurrection" as the lift
doors closed on him.