Return of the Bard
Who: Keto, Shakespeare
Where: Keto's Bathroom
When: During the mechanical madness
Keto sighed and walked towards his shower. His beautiful shower.
At least that still worked. He checked the bathroom door was locked
and he was safe from the unsuspecting entrances of his medical team
before striding back to his welcoming and inviting shower.
He pulled back the curtain and stopped in horror.
A familiar voice greeted him and he closed his eyes.
"I hate everything."
"Good morrow, Charles!" said the cheerful voice.
Keto stepped backwards, bumping into his medicine cabinet, and there
was a crashing sound as he knocked an ointment bottle off one of the
shelves and onto the floor.
"Oh God," he moaned, "Not you again! You were gone! You were GONE!
I was HAPPY! How are you BACK HERE TO TORMENT ME!?"
The smiling, slightly-puzzled looking form of Doctor William
Shakespeare stepped out of Keto's shower.
"Ah," he began, hesitantly, "But my tale is one of blight woe and
dastardly deeds, and much too timeth consumationing to tell!"
"Damn right," growled Keto, looking around for something to brandish
menacingly. The only things that sprang to mind were his shaving
mirror and a towel, neither of which struck him as particularly
menacing, so he gave up and settled for giving Shakespeare and evil glare.
"So, Shakespeare," he continued, after a moment's silence in which the
reappearing surgeon looked around curiously, "What are you doing in my
shower? Though I dread having to listen to you for even a moment
longer, the last I recall of you was when you and that accursed nurse
Wildweed moved my medibay without consulting me. What, dare I ask,
have you been up to? Not that I minded the peace."
Shakespeare looked at him, looking ever increasingly bemused,
blinking. After he didn't reply for a moment, Keto snapped.
"Answer my question, you pathetic bardic waste of flesh!" he snarled,
grabbing the towel and shaking it at Shakespeare's face, "Why have you
come back to make my life a misery now? And in my shower, of all
Shakespeare's mouth opened and closed a few times, his eyes looking
"Forsooth," he managed, his voice croaking slightly, "Forgive me,
Charles, but I know not of whatst thou speaketh! Move thy medibay?
In truth, I have not set a single foot into thy medibay before this
He paused, looking around the bathroom.
"Tis smaller than mine expectations hads't believed," he said, slowly,
then rapidly shook himself as he took in Keto's angry gaze again,
"Truly, Charles, I understand nought of what thou speaks't!"
Now it was Keto's turn to look puzzled, his angry frown turning slowly
into one of confusion as he lowered the brandished towel.
"Are you honestly telling me," he said, slowly and clearly, "That you
have no memory of this medibay? At all?"
"Nay, now thou speak'st truth!" nodded Shakespeare fervently, "I have
just arrived here, aboard thy 'Blue Dwarf', for mine transfer were
forced upon me by grave circumstance, in which I..."
"...you tried to decapitate the captain," interrupted Keto, a light
slowly dawning. Shakespeare stared at him, then nodded.
"Tis true," admitted the surgeon after a moment, "But...how dids't
thou know that, Charles? I hath ne'er told a soul aboard this ship my
tale, as yet."
"Shakespeare, you may be a fool," murmured Keto, opening the door into
his main quarters and backing into it slowly, causing Vanessa and Tara
to look up in surprise, "But this time I think you might really have a
"What'st do thou mean?" asked Shakespeare, stepping forward out of the
bathroom, "Ah, greetings, fair maidens. Mine name is Shakespeare, a
bard of the finest..."
"Shakespeare," interrupted Keto brusquely, turning to Vanessa and
Tara, "Believes he has just arrived on this ship for the first time.
He believes he has never been in my medibay before. He believes that
this is his first day on board the Blue Dwarf."
He turned back to face Shakespeare.
"In short," said Keto, "He has lost all memory of the past six years."
There was silence.
"Wait, what?" blinked Shakespeare.
OOC: Yes, folks, he's back. And this time he promises me it's to
stay. On pain of pain. Say a big hello-for-the-umpteenth time to our
resident surgeon, Shakespeare! Who, by the way, has no memory of the
Blue Dwarf. At all. It's as if he's just arrived on board, a la post
1513 of 7 March 2001. Enjoy. :P