Cmdr Niples "Annoyances"Posted by
Posted: Aug 11, 2000, 11:14am
Commander Seymore Niples
JMC Blue Dwarf
Niples barged his way past the many people on the crowded promenade, most people were just busy shopping and didn't expect to have to move out of the way for any impolite commander.
"Move, MOVE! You bloody idiots! Can't you see I'm trying to get through here!"
"Don't be so impolite!" said one doddery old lady as he pushed her out of the way.
This statement caught him offguard.
"Impolite? Impolite!" he shouted at the old woman. "I don't friggin care if I'm being impolite- you're all in my way so I have reason to be impolite!" the woman was so stunned by the attitude that she keeled over.
He walked into the bakery on the promenade, slamming the door behind him.
"Can I help you sir?" asked the polite young man behind the counter.
"yes you can help me." said the commander bitterly. "You can get me a gingerbread man!"
"Oh, I'm terribly sorry Sir. We've just sold out of gingerbread men." smiled the man. "But if there's anything else..."
"I dont want anything else." snapped Niples, his face going red. "I want a gingerbread man!!! And I want it NOW!"
Seymore had shouted so loud that the man at the counter could actually feel his eyeballs being pushed deeper into their sockets by the pressure.
"I'll erm... see what I can do sir." Whimpered the man and turned away to look for any left-over gingerbread men, leaving Niples to fume to himself.
The man looked in the oven- nothing.
He looked in the bread-bin- nothing.
He looked in the freezer- still nothing.
He looked down the crack between the fridge and the counter- aha!
There was a gingerbread man which had been down there for weeks, months maybe. He reached his hand down the gap and picked the gingerbread object out.
It was covered in so much hair and mold that it was no longer a gingerbread man, it now resembled a gingerbread 'Gelf'.
"Here you go sir!" smiled the man as he handed over the disgusting object.
"That's more like it!" said Niples.
The man watched nervously as his customer bit the head off the small hairy man- he was even sure he could see the legs moving because of maggots crawling inside.
"Hmmm," said Niples. "...tangy."
As the commander walked off a polymorph burst out of an maintenance duct and dropped to the busy floor of the promenade, it managed to avoid being trampled on and grew to a huge size, resembling a large ferocious dragon with more teeth than the entire royal family put together.
Women screamed, men fled, and kids watched in awe as the huge monster picked up people in its mouth and threw them across the promenade.
Seymore had had enough. He was sick of everyone, he just didn't care for anyone or anything. This did make sense because the polymorph had sucked out all of his love and affection for others, but he didn't realise that. And frankly he didn't give a shit.
He boarded the tram that took him from one end of the mining ship to the other. There were three other people on the tram, one woman officer, one business man and a man dressed in flowery clothes.
Seymore sat down and the tram started to accelerate.
The business man started to whistle in a flat tone. Niples tried to ignore him. The female officer tapped her foot. Niples twitched in mild annoyance. The Hippy nodded his head to the music he was listening to with his earphones.
Niples looked from one annoying sight to another, the drumming and whistling getting louder in his head. He knew he was about to crack.
He looked at the business man. "Stop whistling!"
"I said STOP THAT BLOODY WHISTLING"
The man stopped.
The woman continued to tapp her foot, the vibrations went through the floor and began to rattle in Seymore's head.
"And you stop that BLOODY TAPPING!!!!! I dont care about you people- why do you annoy me so, I don't care if you all go to hell!!
==================================Lt. David "Onion" BallAssistant Helm officer/ Pilot USS Endeavour-ACommander Seymore Niples JMC Blue DwarfWWW.Geocities.com/BlueDwarf2000Are you being paid for being online? I am! http://www.alladvantage.com/home.asp?refid=IJU209==================================