The Tesco's Chain Store Massacre.Posted by
Posted: Jul 1, 2007, 11:58am
Who:- Jay, Harris, Dante, Security teams.
"Chris," Jay yelled, running up alongside the two security officers. "What
the hell's going on? I nearly got decapitated by a dude in a Scooby Doo
"No costumes dude." Chris said, handing Jay a shotgun "Promenades under
attack by some weird..dog...things...."
"If only..Werewolves wouldn't overthrow the offy"
"They.....did.....what?" said Jay, his eyes narrowing in fury. The off
license were currently doing a buy one get one free deal on carling 12
packs. Perfect for when he and Phil watched the footy.
Jay cocked his shotgun, and headed toward the shop in question...
Jay kicked in the door to the off license, and let off a couple of rounds at
the nearest GELF. The first missed, but the second hit it square in the
shoulder, and sent him flying backward into the shelves behind the counter,
bottles of spirits going everywhere.
More of the GELF's turned, and leapt at Jay as he cocked his shotgun and let
off another round firing both barrels and embedding two shells into the
skull of the lead GELF, seconds before it's jaws would have taken Jay's head
off instead of the other way round, his gun clicked as he tried to fire
another round at the GELF that had just emerged from the store-room,
followed by several others.
It was then that Jay realised the mistake of taking a shotgun, it held
little ammo, and although he had replacement shells, he'd be dead by the
time he reloaded, so decided to retreat back out of the door, slinging the
gun over his shoulder. "AFTER HIM!!" one GELF shouted, and a group of the
dog-creatures bounded after him, Jay knew he could never outrun them, but he
could outwit them. He burst through the door of the JJB Sports store, next
door, on the other side from Mothercare, and dashed up the stairs to the
first-floor mezannine. He heard the beasts following, so he grabbed a
Bowling Ball from the shelf, and hurled it down the stairs up which he had
just ran. The ball hurtled through the air, ricocheting off the head of one
GELF, then rolling full-speed into the ankles of another, before being
caught by a third, who promplty tossed it back, one handed, at Jay.
Jay, barely managed to avoid being hit by the ball, and as he dived to one
side he landed in a golf display. He grabbed a golf bag and slung it over
his shoulder, and, drawing a golf club like a sword, ran back down the
stairs at the Gelf who had thrown the ball, swinging the club like a madman
as he did so, he swung so hard, that as well as hearing a satisfying crack
as the GELF's, neck broke, that he lost his balance and toppled over the
banister, landing in the skate section of the store.
More GELF's were coming at him, flooding into the store, Jay had no choice
but to fight, still weilding his golf club, he stood on a nearby skateboard
and kicked off, wheeling toward the attackers, swinging fiercly as he did
so, sending GELFS flying. Looking back, he laughed as he skated toward the
store's exit. He didn't laugh for long however, as when he turned back to
face the direction he was heading, he realised he was skating straight into
the grip of another GELF, who grabbed Jay viciously by the throat.
Jay felt the monster's grip tighten, and he dropped his 9-iron. Jay,
thinking fast, brought his left leg back, and hammered it hard into the
creatures groin, forcing it to loosen it's grip enough for Jay to escape.
GELF's were at the door, so Jay grabbed a set of dumbell's off a nearby
shelf and hurled it through the store window, leaping through after it.
Seeing another large group of GELF's he quickly took a right and darted into
the adjacent branch of Currys. As he entered, he was grabbed by a
dog-creature that had entered the store by breaking through the thin wall's
between JJB and Currys, and he lifted Jay over his head and tossed him with
incredible power, sending Jay crashing into a 42" HD plasma TV, the Tv
toppled, and Jay rolled straight over it, and into the display cabinet of
another TV behind it.
Jay stayed low, and on all fours crawled as fast as he could toward the
white goods section and his amongst the refridgerators. "COME OUT AND FIGHT,
screamed the dog that had thrown him. Jay panicked, he looked around for a
weapon, he still wore the golf bag, but all the clubs had fallen out. But
there was something in there, a pair of Ice skates that must have fallen
inside when he landed on the shelf in the Skate dpeartment of JJB. He
thought fast, and pulled one skate onto his left foot, then got up, vaulting
over a dishwasher display that the dog stood next to and lifted his leg into
a flying roundhouse kick, slicing the ice skate's blade across the side of
the GELF's face, before the skate, with its laces untied, flew off Jay's
foot and shattered the glass of a nearby microwave. The creature was
stunned, but not out, and lowering it's head, charged at Jay. Jay dodged to
one side, and opened the door to an oven behind him, the GELF charged into
the open oven door, wedging itself in by the shoulders. Jay took the
opportunity to swtich on the oven, at full temperature, roasting the
Another gelf entered the store, Jay, grabbing the second Ice-Skate by the
laces, swung it around like a slingshot, the let go, sending the skate
sailing through the air where it collided with the GELF, blade first,
slicing it's head off at the shoulders.
Jan fled from the store, and into the Tesco's next door, taking refuge in
the home entertainement section, taking the opportunity to reload. He heard
another GELF approaching, so he burst from cover and unloaded a round into
it's chest, before running off toward the frozen food section. When he got
there, a GELF was waiting for him, Jay couldn't react quick enough, and
found himself flying through the air once more, until he smashed into the
door of an upright freezer containing microwave lasanges and cannelonis.
Dazed, he shook his head to regain his bearings, and saw the Gelf that had
just attacked him lucrhing at him, he dodged aside, using the same manouvere
that he had done previously with the oven, and watched as the Gelf smashed
into a shelf-full of badly-made ready-meals through the open freezer door,
which Jay promptly slammed shut, shoving his now empty shotgun under the
handles, wedging the door shut.
Weaponless, he headed toward the home section of the store, grabbing a large
kitchen knife as he ran through. Around the corner, he came across another
GELF, moving quickly this time, he held the knife aloft, and brought it down
into the Gelf's face, slicing downward into it's neck and chest, sending
blood spattering all over the floor, himself, and the sweet counter.
More Gelf's came at him, Jay spotted a fully laden shopping trolley nearby,
and grabbed some soup cans out of it, hurling these at the attackers, the
bounced off the GELFS heads, oing little more than covering them with
Minestrone soup, still on the defense, Jay grabbed the trolley, and swung it
round to face the GELFS, then charged at them, using the trolley like a
battering ram. He powered into them, knocking them aside like bowling pins,
then once more ran for the door, and straight into the chest of Dante
Wendigo, leading a squad of security officers into the store.
Jay raised his fists, ready to fight, before realising that it was Dante.
"Jesus...." he said, panting, trying to get his breath
"Dunno...you seem to have handled it pretty nicely...."
Jay collapsed at Dante's feet, exhausted, Dante stepped over Jay, leaving
him lying on his back amongst the newspaper and magazine section of the
supermarket. Overhead, on the store tannoy a voice was heard. "Clean up
aisle five! Maureen, we seem to have Geln entrails on the floor...some kid
must have knocked it off the shelf..."