"Seymour the giving parent"Posted by
Posted: Aug 9, 2007, 4:06pm
Who: Seymour, Mk10, Rosette, Efof, Ingen and baby Alota
Where: In and around the Blue Midget, Marketplace, Mollopod planet
When: After Seymour gets to the Blue Midget
Seymour swept up his baby daughter majestically as he could. The young
babe looked up at her father, a smile exploded upon her face. 'She
recognizes me!' The father thought incredulously as he mirrored the
pleased expression. This was promptly wiped off by yet another jet of
pale, baby vomit.
As the baby vomit rolled down the rather expensive suit Seymour had
bought from a rather nich tailors near Proxima Centauri, it dawned on
him that he hated babies. He always had. Babies were a nuisance. But
the fact that Seymour had temporarily forgotten that he hated babies
for the overwhelming urge to protect his daughter confused him.
Seymour had complained so much that he didn't see his child enough,
but now that Jenny was in a coma and he could see her as much as he
wanted, he wasn't sure if he did anymore. It was as if the appeal of
looking after his own child was only glamorous knowing that he could
hand it back to it's mother when he was bored. And Seymour got bored
of people extremely quickly, and most people didn't constantly vomit
or poo in their pants more than twice a day. Apart from some people
he'd seen leaving Parrotts at 2am.
Seymour didn't realise it, but he was one of those rich posh parents
who liked the idea of having children, but would rather pay for
someone to look after them instead of having to do it himself. In his
own rationale, why would he want to look after the baby? It would only
ruin all his best clothes.
He quickly turned back to the skutter who had been clutching his baby
only moments ago and placed her back in its awkward claw grip. "Here.
You hold her. I'm bored." he said.
He took a step away and saw the baby hanging awkwardly in the robot's
grip. A proper father would have realised his mistake of leaving it in
the hands of a cold-hearted machine, and clutched the baby back into
his arms. Seymour only went half way. "No. Hold her like this. Support
her head!" he commanded. The skutter did its best with what little
appendages it had available. It beeped in annoyance at Seymour.
"No. I know you don't have any arms, but try harder!" he said. Then
when he was satisfied he walked away from his baby.
Outside the Blue Midget, Ingen was still busily keeping the majority
of the slugs away. Rosette and Mk10 picked their way over fat squelchy
slug bodies and stood on the landing ramp of the Blue Midget.
"Seymour we have an idea!" Rosette announced proudly.
Seymour nodded, waiting to hear it.
"Salt." Said Mk10 and paused.
After the pause, Seymour held the palms of his hands flat. "Salt?" He
"Is that it?"
"Yes! Slugs don't like salt, it makes them dissolve or something."
Said Rosette, trying to disguise the fact she used it to torture wild
slugs when she was a teenager.
Seymour said nothing.
"So... we were thinking, if we get enough, we could carpet this entire
area." Said Mk10, continuing on from Rosette.
"Where do we get salt from? This is a Blue Midget not a restaurant...
although I do keep a spare salt shaker in all shuttles in case of
emergencies... oh here it is." Seymour pulled a small salt pot from a
side cupboard in the Blue Midget and presented it to Rosette.
She took the small pot and threw the contents into the face of a
nearby slug. Who screamed and melted to the floor, liquid seeping out
of him and pooling around his body. Rosette turned back to Seymour.
"Well we know it works." she said happily. "Do you have any more?"
"No. Although I do have a pot of fresh tzatziki in case we crash
landed on a planet in abundance of pitta breads?"
"No... I don't think that would work." said Rosette. She snatched it
anyway and threw it on a slug, who just licked it off his face and
gave a hearty "Thankyou" before he tried to eat Ingen and got a battering.
"I remember seeing thousands of containers on Blue Dwarf, why don't we
go collect those?" Rosette said.
"Hey, those thousands containers are property of Chez Royal Niples, I
bought salt it all in bulk because it's cheaper. We can not use those."
"But we need it."
"No. I disagree terribly." Said Seymour.
"But it's for the good of planet Earth!"
"What about the good of the best restaurant on Blue Dwarf? Lord knows
the Blue Dwarf needs all the help it can get when it comes to classy
restaurants. People there still think Yates is posh."
Mk10 and Rosette looked at each other and pushed past Seymour.
"Hey, what do you think you're- No. I said No! I forbid you to go get
my salt! I forbid you to start that engine. I forbid you to take this
Blue Midget off the ground."
Seymour sighed and sat down as the Blue Midget launched.
<tag Reuben and Andy, but can we make it to the BD before CK and Jesse
get the the armoury initiate a lockdown? Otherwise all hangerbay doors
will be locked!>