Seymour - "Babysitting"

Who: Ambassador Seymour Niples
Where: Function Room #39, The Promenade
When: As the alcohol is being pillaged
Seymour sank his face into his hands, it felt like he was going round
and round in circles.
He was sat in a small negotiating room with two diplomats from
different planets, negotiating the disputes they have had over the
border between their two empires.
The Dolphorses and the Mollopods had agreed to meet onboard the Blue
Dwarf as it was neutral territory. This was important, as the two
species shared so little trust in each other that they would have
assumed that any Ambassador travelling to the respective race's
homeworld would be instantly imprisoned, shot, or eaten.
Due to the Blue Dwarf's previous encounter with the Mollopods, a team
of armed guards watched carefully over the proceedings. Seymour knew
that the Mollopod probably cared more about sorting this border
dispute out than eating him, but even still made sure that they had
all eaten before they'd started.
The Dolphorse was perhaps one of the strangest creatures that Seymour
had ever seen. It seems that several years ago, Genetic scientists
had gone incredibly bonkers and started merging every species of
animal with an entirely different species of animal. One of the
results of this experimentation was the Dolphorse, part Dolphin, part
Of course it was unclear how the species got from the petri-dish to
inhabiting their own world, but Seymour just assumed enough of them
had been bred to create a family, and they promptly stuck two fingers
up at their creators (or hooves), and stole a ship to find a world of
their own.
Seymour lifted his face up from his hands. "Look, shall we go over
this again...."
The Mollopod looked as frustrated as Seymour did (but luckily didn't
look hungry), and the Dolphorse looked fairly impassive. It was
incredibly hard for the part Dolphin, part Horse to express emotion,
a it had the head and flippers of a dolphin, and four legs of a
horse. It spoke through a translator who was an impossibly small
human and mysterious woman named Marge.
Marge had black hair which was tied back with incredible tightness,
and wore glasses with thick dark frames. It made her look
intimidating despite her petite stature. She wore a frowning face
that was almost as expressionless as the part-Dolphin she was
"This deal is no good. It is unfair to the Mollopod race. I think you
discriminate against us because we are higher in the food chain than
you." Said the Mollopod Ambassador.
The Dolphorse clicked and squeaked something illegible, and Marge
stood up to translate. "My client believes that this deal is
incredibly fair..." She stared deep into the Mollopod's eyes with no
fear. "...And incredibly fair considering that you have been sneakily
moving your borders into our territory a centimetre each day."
"We have not!" said the fat slug in outrage.
Seymour moved his hands over his ears. "Haven't we had this argument
already?" He said, but it was too late, the Mollopod, the Dolphorse,
and the translator had launched into a full argument.
Seymour made an excuse and left the room, despite the situation being
still unresolved. He walked with the intention of going back to his
apartment, but a friendly voice called out to him from the crèche as
he passed.
"Oh Mister Niples? Aren't you forgetting something?" said a friendly
voice that Seymour found patronising. Seymour sunk his head then
turned around. "Oh yes of course." he said, and pretended to smile.
A happy, gurgling baby was placed in his arms which he held
"I think little Alota has missed you." Said the woman, and tugged at
baby Alota's cheek, making her giggle and thrash about in Seymour's
"Alright alright." Said Seymour, waving the woman away. "That's
enough excitement for one day."
He placed the baby under his arm and carried it all the way to
sickbay, where he sidestepped a few nurses to sit by the bedside of
the unconscious Jenny Bond. He sat down and placed Alota on the bed
next to her mother. Seymour looked at Jenny, her skin was clammy and
almost grey in colour, the tubes up her mouth and nostrils controlled
her breathing.
Baby Alota thrashed around, pulling at the bedsheets, but her mother
still didn't awake. As she hadn't in the last four months. Seymour
was increasingly loosing hope that she would survive, and that he
would be the full time father for the child.
This had sort of been what he wanted. Before the accident that had
knocked Jenny unconscious he had learned that she wanted Seymour to
not see the baby at all. He had been outraged, he desperately wanted
to see his child. But now he faced being the permanent parent and he
just wanted to give her back.
Seymour had come to the conclusion, babies were fun... for about five
minutes, then you give them back to their parents. If you can't give
them back, then they're not fun. They're rubbish.
Babies aren't useful to have intellectual conversations with. They
can't hold down caviar, and they don't appreciate a good wine.
Plus, Alota cried for no apparent reason at random times during the
day, and at night, and Seymour was becoming increasingly tired of it.
He had considered giving her to the Dolphorse, who would probably
give her a better life, although there's the chance it might give her
to the Mollopod as a peace offering, who would waste no time in
covering her in ketchup and putting her between two slices of bread.
Seymour considered this, as it solved his problem. But his family
pride kicked in. No child with his brilliant genes would be wasted as
a Mollopod snack.
Then, a thought struck him. Normally the medibay had more Doctors and
Nurses than there currently was, even on the graveyard shift. And he
didn't remember seeing many people on his way here either.
"Nurse... where is everybody today?"
The Nurse that was checking on Jenny's vitals turned her thumb
towards the direction of the door. "Everyone said there was an
emergency in the cargo deck. Lots of alcohol was being burned or
something, they've all gone to save it. I'm only here cos I'm
Seymour's eyes went wide. "Did they say which Cargobay?" he panicked.
"Eight I think."
Seymour shot out of the Medibay yelling "My caviar!".
The Nurse shouted after him. "But...your baby!"
Alota gurgled happily.
<To be continued...>

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