Niples - "Jenny's village" pt3Posted by
Posted: Jul 25, 2008, 4:03pm
Who: Seymour, Justin Pancake, and some disgruntled Eniram
Where: North of the Capitol city, Mollopod planet
When: After that annoying shapeshifter was shot
Justin's eyes widened as he thought of the horrors of Eniram
"But I don't understand. Why is there a statue of Jenny Bond a
thousand light years away from Earth?"
The Eniram soldier put down his weapon and started rationing out some
fish to his hungry men. "That's the God of the people who lived here.
They worshipped her. Are you sure you knew her?"
"Yes! Damned sure!" Seymour said. "I saw her naked and everything!"
"Everything?" Asked Justin.
Seymour gave him a stern look. "Everything!"
Justin sniggered as he looked at the statue of Jenny and had dirty
thoughts about her until Seymour clouted him.
"Shh! I have just found out that my girlfriend is a deity, so stop
thinking about her like that. It's also probably blasphemous."
Justin looked away.
A radio attached to Sii's scaly thigh started to crackle and make
noises in what Seymour assumed was the Eniram language. It sounded
like someone gargling. After a short moment Sii anounced that they
have to leave. "The fleet has assembled in orbit, apparently we're
going to attack the Krylons."
"What?" Said Seymour. "We can't leave now. I have to find Jenny."
The Eniram pointed to the statue.
"No! I mean the real Jenny! I need to speak to her, I need to tell
her that our baby has been kidnapped."
Justin raised his hand slowly. "Are you sure she exists?"
"Well... I mean, I haven't known you that long... and you might just
be a crazy person right. What did you say you did again?"
"I'm a Royal Ambassador."
"Yeah right. Whatever that is. What I mean to say is that you might
have seen a postcard of this statue and made up the whole
"I KNOW it was real." Seymour insisted.
"Think back to your previous girlfriends. Did they look like the
statue of Liberty and the Angel of the North?"
Justin shrugged. "What about the baby you talked about, I don't even
know if it exists or where it came from. Did you have sex with this
"Maybe it's a little pebble... like this one!"
"NO!" Seymour knocked the pebble out of his hand.
"Careful Ambassador! That's child abuse."
Seymour threw his hands up in the air and stomped away from the
Eniram and other human. "I'm going to find her on my own!" He called
As he passed the statue his hand brushed against it. He felt
something electric and inviting. He stopped and placed his palm fully
onto it. The stone felt warm. In fact, it wasn't stone at all. The
entire thing was a quantum hyperconnecter made from silicon
molecules. Seymour turned back to Justin and Sii with a grin that
said "I told you so" and dissapeared.
The quantum hyperconnector hasn't actually moved Seymour very far in
terms of space. It hadn't even moved him in time. But it had moved
him sideways quite a long way through dimensions. The experience
wasn't entirely unpleasant, but it made his hair all fluffy.
He opened his eyes to find he was in a room of slightly impossible
proportions. The room had 5 walls, all of which were set at 90
degrees to each other. On closer inspection, there were actually 5.78
walls, but they were covered in wallpaper that was so incredibly
complicated that he couldn't look at them without his brain getting
confused. So therefore it looked like a blur that he couldn't focus
There was another person in the room with him, or was it a million?
They encouraged him to sit down and several thousand small furry
creatures started to massage his head and shoulders. Initially,
Seymour was confused, but very quickly realised it felt so good that
he let them carry on. He sighed happily.
With his eyes closed he could hear someone coming towards him.
For the several months that Jenny had been in a coma, he had wondered
what he would say to her when she woke up. Things had been awkward
between them, what with her hating his guts and not wanting him to
see baby Alota and everything.
Jenny stood in front of him with a semi smiling, semi serious look on
her face. For a long moment she didn't say anything. Seymour said
nothing either, everything he wanted to say had melted away once the
furry massaging creatures had started rubbing his neck.
After an eternity he decided to break the awkward silence.
"So... you're an omnipotent deity from another dimension. Fancy
setting up a trans-dimensional massage parlour? This is splendid."
<to be continued>