Jayne:- Episode II: The Clone wars

Who:- Chris Harris, Justine Pancake, Mini-Phyllis, Jayne Chrysler
Where:- BD #562
When:- During the hymie invasion
"TAKE COVER!" yelled Harris as he tossed a "fermentation grenade" at
a small cluster of Hymenopteran warriors. A fermentation grenade was
in fact just a shaken up can of premium lager, but Harris needed to
make it sound all "weapony" as he put it, to be able to claim the
cost of feeding his alcohol habit on expenses. The fact that it was
well known that the aliens were hyper-allergic in an explody,
splattery way to alcohol certainly made it a lot easier to convince
the Space Corps munitions department that Chris needed a constant
supply of Kronenbourg 1664.
The women in Chris' group did as instructed and hid behind some
overturned tables in the deck 22 Starbucks, only to poke their heads
back up when the only noise they heard was a disappointing fizzing
"Why did you tell us to duck?" Jayne asked, getting back to her feet
and walking toward the place where moments ago stood four alien
insects and now stood nothing but entrails and spilled lager. "It
was hardly a dangerous weapon!"
"It was lager!" Chris said casually, shaking up a second can as he
spoke "I thought you lot would want to avoid it at all costs or
"Why?" Justine asked, standing next to Jayne
"You're girls!" was Chris' reply "Girls like Bacardi Breezers and
"Be grateful that we need you at the moment Chris" Jayne
said "Otherwise the midget would be chewing on your gonads by now…"
"EEEEeeeEE!!" scowled Mini-Phyllis, gnashing her teeth to emphasise
the point.
The banter was interrupted by an explosion, and Dante Wendigo burst
through the nearby wall, backwards, colliding with the opposite wall
and making a large Morgonian-shaped dent. He shook his head and
pushed himself off the wall and ran back through the hole that he
had just made, reloading a shotgun and yelling a chain of
The group looked at each other, shrugged then carried on heading
toward the Captain.
The Captain was holed up in Parrots with several other crew members,
trying to fend off the Hymenopteran attack.
The pool table had been tipped onto it's side and Captain Jayne,
along with Callie Kochanski, Jonathan Wildflower, and the Captains
modified clone, Jay Chrysler – who was an exact double of Jay
Chrysler PRIME.
"We need to get alcohol to them!" Jay yelled over the sounds of
gunfire as he withdrew his rifle that he had been blindfiring across
the top edge of the upturned pool table to reload it.
"How do we do that?" Wildflower asked
"Shouldn't be that hard!" Jay replied "We ARE in a bar!"
There was a security force taking cover behind the bar, who would
alternately break cover to fire a Bazookoid round into the alien
onslaught, Lt. Ramirez, saw Captain Jayne gesturing behind the bar
and cottoned on to what she was suggesting, he and one of his
comrades stopped firing and hauled several large barrels of beer
from the floor behind the bar and moving to the end of it, rolled
them across the floor to Jayne's team.
"We need to get closer to the doors!" Kochanski suggested, as she
reloaded her own weapon. "They're being forced into a bottleneck
there, it'll have the biggest impact!"
Captain Jayne nodded "Help me shift this!" she said, tapping the
base of the pool table. Wildflower, Kochanski and both Chryslers
pushed their backs up against the surface and using their legs,
pushed against the floor, sliding the pool table over to the doorway
where it slammed against the frames.
"Now!" Jayne ordered, ducking an insectoid antenna that curiously
poked around behind the barrier.
Jay and Wildflower stabbed each barrel several times with their
combat knives and between them, tossed them over the top of the Pool
The barrels bounced, and rolled into the oncoming masses of
Hymenoptera, fizzing poisonous alcohol all over the army, killing
them on contact. It took a few minutes, but before long, the assault
on Parrotts had stopped.
"YES!" yelled Kochanski punching the air "We did it!"
"Well done everyone" said Jayne.
It was at this moment that Jayne Prime, along with Harris, Pancake
and Mini-Phylliss ran onto the promenade at full pace, skidding to a
halt at the entrance to the bar.
"CAPTAIN!" Yelled Harris
"EEEEeee!" offered Mini-Phyllis.
"Captain Chrysler?" Harris then added.
"I'm here!" Captain Jayne replied "You're from Blue Dwarf Prime
right?" she clocked Jayne stood behind Harris "I suppose you're my
clones counterpart?"
Jayne nodded then spoke "You have to come with us Captain! You and
Jay, the bug's are here for you, well, us!"
"I know" Captain Jayne replied "But do you think I'd abandon my ship
and crew to save my own hide?"
"You don't…" Jayne began but was interrupted
"You're version of me may be the kind of coward to run away from a
fight, but I'm not!"
Jayne and Harris looked at each other, they should have known, she
was an alternate version of their Jay, he'd never abandon the ship
to save himself either.
"I'm staying here, to fight and NOTHING can make me leave"
As she said this, Parrotts was filled with Hymenoptera shock
troopers who burst in through the floor of the bar, wrapping both
Jaynes and Jay with capture webs and hauling them away back to the
"Is that irony?" said Harris "Or coincidence, I'm never sure…"

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