Niples - "Queen v Queen"Posted by
Posted: Mar 29, 2009, 5:11pm
Who: Seymour and baby Alota
Where: Kingdom of Little Cheftonia, in the Hymenoptera's cave
When: Not long after they "burrowed" here through a wormhole
As Seymour let his eyes become accustomed to the darkness he could see that he
was in a cave. A damp and cold cave.
Alota sat at his feet, waving her arms around but gladly wasn't creating any
more wormholes. He picked her up. "Well done baby girl." He congratulated her on
getting them out of the crate in deep space.
"But where the hell have you brought us?"
Seymour picked up Alota, who was gurgling with happiness despite being in one of
the most miserable and creepy caves that Seymour had ever seen. It was dark, and
damp and infested with insects. Both small and very very large insects. He
squealed in shock as a drip of cold cave water dropped down his back, and then
shrieked in shock when a hairy caterpillar crawled into his suit pocket. He
quickly flung the insect out.
"I hate insects-" he said, but a hand clasped itself firmly around his mouth,
stopping him from saying another word.
He froze in terror, and started to wish that his baby daughter would take this
opportunity to create another wormhole and get him out of there. She looked far
too interested in her feet though to conjure another wormhole.
The hand pulled Seymour backwards and then slammed him against a wall just
inside a crevice in the cave. It was just in time to see a Hymenoptera bug crawl
"Seymour don't scream, it's me Brittany." Said the Queen and removed her hand
from his mouth.
"Ma'am, I hardly see the need to gag me. I'm a grown man who- ooooooOoOOooo-"
Another drop of ice cold water dripped down his neck causing Seymour to shreik
again. Brittany clasped her hand firmly over his mouth.
"Seymour!" She said. "As your Queen, I'm ordering you to not make another sound.
There are Hymenoptera here."
Seymour nodded and poked his head out of the crevice to watch the bug turn a
corner in the cave system. "Yes, and those aren't your normal warrior bugs
either, they're special bugs that aide the Queen of a hive."
"Queen?" Said the Queen.
"Yes, some large hive ships have a Queen. She's the only one on a ship that can
"Oh great." Said Brittany. "So when I was having my whining moment back on the
Starbug and you told me that I needed to meet more royalty to act like a 'proper
Queen', this is what you had in mind is it?"
"Not exactly no. I don't think you should be impregnated over and over and start
spawning an entire hive of offspring no." Seymour said. "But I DO think you
should start acting more like a proper member of the royal family and stop doing
that stupid topless modelling. It is incredibly degrading."
"I can't help if if the entire galaxy is interesting in seeing my rack."
Brittany said, cupping her bosoms proudly. "I'm just giving them what they
"And I'm making a fortune Seymour! I'm the richest and most popular member of
the Royal family for two hundred years! I don't need to act like a 'proper
Queen' and I don't need any more of your stupid advice!"
She turned her back to him, causing Seymour to look uncomfortably at his shoes.
A hissing sound made them both jump. A Hymenoptera bug stood staring at them
through the crevice they were hiding in.
"SMEG! What do we do Seymour?"
"First. We don't swear in front of the baby. Second we... offer our total and
The bug hissed some more and reached a sharp pointy claw into the crevice.
Seymour walked out with one hand up, the other was holding Alota who was now
starting to cry.
The monster pushed them to the cave where the Queen Hymenoptera sat, her abdomen
bulging with unborn offspring.
"Hi Queen of the Hymenoptera. I'm Queen Brittany of England. Want to share
tips?" Brittany said sarcastically.
"So how do we get out of here Alota?" Seymour asked his small daughter as he
wiped the tears from her small face. She cooed and started making sparks from
her chubby fingers. She waved them round and a crimson hold in space started to
form around them...
<To be continued!>