Brittany: Death and taxes

Who: Brittany, Seymour and Efof
Where: In York city's lower caverns with vast pools of rising magma
When: Just after the evil Captain Castillo launched the mining devices
"Got it!" Said Efof and showed the 3D map on his phone. "We're in one of the deepest tunnels, to get to the surface we have to make our way up through five levels."
The magma started climbing up the stairs, trapping and killing anyone who was still left in the chamber below.
"But..." said Efof.
"But what?"
"We don't have enough shuttles to evacuate the entire planet. We need some more sending from the Blue Dwarf."
"Ok give them a call." Said Seymour, unaware that was where the attack originated.
Efof stood there for a while, phone held to his ear waiting for a response as the panicking crowd surged past them, their terror stricken faces lit in harsh relief by the fires and distantly bubbling magma
"Huh" he frowned after a minute or so "They aren't answering! Maybe the signal's not so good down here?"
"Oh, give it here you blue imbecile" Seymour snatched the phone from him and tapped it a few times to make sure it was working correctly
"...You just disconnected it" Efof muttered sullenly
"Wha's point tryin' a get up there anyway?" Brittany slurred, digging through her pockets "Surface's toxic. Atmosphere thing. S' smegging stupid idea tryin' a gerrup there anyway..."
"Ohh" Seymour groaned, slapping his forehead "I'd forgotten about that"
"Mebbe try for the spaceport or the space eve... evela... evala... lifts?" Brittany finally managed as she pulled a gas inhaler out and shook its contents up
"Won't everyone else be doing that?" Efof asked as Brittany took a deep breath on the inhaler
"Huuurgh" she coughed, retching hard
"Oh, dear God" Seymour twittered, fussing around her "Whatever next? What have you just done to yourself, your Majesty?"
"Aw shit. I hate that stuff" Brittany groaned after a moment, spitting and wiping thin strings of drool from her lips
"Yes, good point Efof. And PZ221" she continued by way of explanation, waving the inhaler "I'll feel terrible tomorrow, but it sobers you up in seconds"
"Marvellous" Seymour started, just as a violent commotion erupted out in the crowd "Now, maybe we should think about trying to get out of here; that lava is getting jolly close! Umm... What on earth do you think is happening over there?"
Several members of the crowd flew bodily through the air, landing some meters away as a half dozen of Brittany's massive powered armour clad gentlemen at arms waded out of the panicking mass of humanity
"Yay!" Brittany cheered "It's the mega death cavalry!"
The foremost of the men stomped smartly forward and snapped a salute while the others moved fluidly around them to adopt a defensive formation, their impressively massive heavy weapons trained outwards towards whatever threat might emerge from the crowd
"We're here to evacuate you Ma'am" the man's heavily modulated voice emanated from speakers mounted somewhere in the faceplate of the suit "Sigma protocol. You need to come with us right now!"
"Crap" Brittany bit her lip, glancing at Efof and Seymour "I think this is where we say goodbye guys... Do you think you can get out on your own?"
"What!?" Seymour was shocked "You're abandoning us!?"
Brittany looked at him apologetically
"It's Sigma, sweetie. These guys are here to get me out of here at all costs - up to and including the loss of life on an industrial scale, if necessary. Everyone else's, that is, not mine..."
"B... b...but what about me!? You can't just leave me here! I mean, look at that magma!" Seymour turned to point at the bubbling pools of fire slowly advancing in the distance "Blingdinium melts at over twelve hundred Kelvin, so I shudder to think how hot that stuff is!"
Brittany sighed and interrupted him before he had even finished
"Please don't make this any harder than it already is, Seymour; I'm not happy about doing it, but my own impetuousness and stupidity very nearly got me killed back on Little Cheftonia, so this time I'm doing it by the book. I can't... I won't make the same mistakes again"
"I... But... I..."
"Is this a bad thing?" Efof asked, looking confused
The man at arms stepped forward and grasped Brittany's arm, his gloved fingers almost completely encircling it
"You need to come with us now ma'am"
He began pulling her away with a gentle but servo-assisted irresistible force which Brittany tried to shake off, but gave up as a bad job when she found his grip was like a vise and so shouted to Seymour as she was being dragged away
"Did you say Blingdinium?"
Seymour straightened
"Yes Ma'am" he called back "I don't see..."
"Would you smegging well get off me?" Brittany snapped, trying to shake the gentleman at arms off again
"Your safety, Ma'am, is paramount" he snapped back "Even if this isn't an assassination attempt, we still need to evacuate you for your own safety"
"I'm more than cognisant of that sir, but the Blingdinium changes it all" she shouted "The people we're about to leave to their doom as this planet collapses in on itself are probably some of the wealthiest taxpaying British subjects in known space"
The man seemed to sag slightly inside his armour
"And...?" he asked
"And..." Brittany continued "The political fallout from all these people being left to die will be horrendous. I'm already in Prime Minister Liar's bad books, and I can well do without the extra headache of the media shit storm that's going to break over the deaths of untold millions"
"Whatever those machines are and wherever they came from" Brittany scowled "We're going to have to at least try to stop them!"
<tag / tbc />

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