Another new Crewmember!!!Posted by
Posted: Aug 28, 2000, 5:17pm
We have another New crewmember boarding soon, Here's his bio:
Character Name: Albert, Psy. D.
Albert is your average appearing man of average height and average weight. He possesses average brown eyes and hair and combs it in an average manner. When observing Albert you will notice that he smiles an average amount of the time as expected by your average psychologist. He is considered nice-looking in an average way but as all average men do, considers himself an average Greek God.
Albert is a very deep thinker and while squinting one eye and examining the asker momentarily, he will thoughtfully say...
He then proceeds to answer the question usually with another question.
Every word mentioned to Albert is usually recorded in his spiral, which he keeps with him, at all times, or his handheld micro-recording device, which he keeps, tucked away in his breast pocket. He keeps an accurate diagnosis of all subjects up-to-date. He considers these records highly confidential and will only discuss information with anyone when it is deemed crucial and necessary.
Nobody knows why, but Albert carries a picture of a jackass in his wallet and can be found gazing at it from time to time when he finds it necessary to enter his “Deep Thought” mode.
Albert was born in Austin, Texas and at the age of 17, he applied for thirty-six major universities seeking attendance in the psychology program. After receiving thirty-six letters declining his application, he made one final application. Albert completed the intense psychology program at the University of San Miguel de Allende, Guanajuato, Mexico, where he received his Doctor of Psychology degree. Many of the citizens of San Miguel de Allende believe that Albert only received his degree because of his extra credit work in Jackass Breeding, but he will quickly deny this rubbish with an annoyed grimace. He went on to practice clinical psychology back in Austin at the No Chance General Hospital where a massive staff of 2 doctors and 6 nurses/janitors were gainfully employed. His career was very successful and became one of the most sought after psychologists on his block.
Albert later moved on to attend the JMC College where he would seek attendance on a ship as the ship’s psychologist. He would be very selective and take only an assignment that would meet his standards. His first offer, after a year of no responses from the assignment staff of the college, was aboard the JMC Blue Dwarf.
“Do you see dead people?”
“I’m sorry, there is no cure for your problem. Do you believe in the after-life?”
“There is a cure for your problem! However, mankind has not discovered it.”
“You are suffering from Multi-Infarct Dementia, although, I have not the foggiest idea of what that is.”
“Have you ever been physically attracted to a jackass?”
“You haven’t much time before you loose control of every aspect of your functioning mind. How about a hug?”
“You could always donate your brain to the Albert Research Foundation for intense study. There is a tax write-off.”