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View character profile for: Cassandra Jones
View character profile for: Seymour Niples
View character profile for: Alfredo Gomez
View character profile for: White Wolf
View character profile for: Jay Chrysler
Escaping the SimulantsPosted by
Posted: Feb 1, 2012, 9:12am
“Right. Grab what you can, guys, and let’s get moving.”
Everyone quickened their pace as they sifted through the crates. “So what’s the plan then?” Davie asked, powering on his rifle, “Storm main engineering while most of them are out there, or what?”
The door exploded and Tisbot's soldiers entered the room, quickly ducking behind crates and opening fire.
“Get into cover!” Jay yelled, although he didn't have to. Everyone was familiar with hiding by now, especially Seymour except he was walking in the wrong direction – towards the enemy.
“Seymour what are you doing?!” Jay shouted at him.
“I can't help it, it's these bloody legs! They're not doing what I want!”
It was Davie that pulled him into cover just as a bazukoid blast whizzed past his head and exploded another crate of tinned peas behind him. Instead of thanking him, Seymour brandished a screwdriver that he'd received from the crate. “Would you be able to fix my legs please, I think they got damp and are worse than usual.”
“No way, they might go haywire and start kicking me!” Davie replied.
Seymour just shrugged. “I'm willing to take that risk.”
“Okay, what if it just makes you riverdance all the way over there to the enemy. I hear Simulants REALLY don't like Michael Flatly!”
“Okay lets not then.” Seymour admitted.
Davie fired a few rounds at the enemy with his Magneto gun.
“What are you firing?” Seymour asked.
“Oh... paperclips.” Davie said and fired a few more over the top of the crate before ducking back down.
“Paperclips! Those are deadly rock hard cyborgs! What are paperclips going to do?!”
“They have fleshy bits!”
“Yes, but you're not hitting them. All I can see is tiny shards of metal pinging off their armour. You might as well throw these tins of mushy peas at them.”
Davie looked at Seymour's empty hands. “I don't see you holding a weapon.”
“I didn't want it to interfere with my legs. Just keep shooting and I'll lead the escape charge.”
“You mean you'll run away first?”
“No. The escape charge.” Seymour said before standing up, shouting “CHARGE!” and running away from the enemy towards the door at the back of the room.
What he didn't see was Tisbot, the simulant leader put his hand to his head and concentrated. What his did see was a wall mounted turret appear next to the door and start firing at him. But his legs wouldn't stop running.
This time it was Cassandra who pulled him to safety. “Did you see that?” She said, dragging him behind a crate. “Their leader seems to have mind control over the turrets. He's probably connected to the ship by wifi.”
“So he could literally do anything, at any time?” Seymour said. “Oh bloody hell.”
That was something Seymour again repeated when the world turned upside down, for a second time. They all fell towards the ceiling (actually it's the floor), and the heavy crates crashed around them. The simulants were a lot better prepared, obviously expecting the change of gravity, and used their magnetic boots to calmly walk down the wall to the floor.
Gomez fell the worst, smacking the floor in the centre of the room with nowhere to hide. The Simulants shot him in the leg before a crate landed next to him that he could hide behind.
Seymour fell straight onto his head and a crate broke open mere inches from his face, covering him with the junk inside. “Are you okay?” Cassandra said, quickly giving some cover fire towards the Simulants.
“Apparently I've won the New Nigerian lottery.” He said, holding up a letter with a memory stick attached. All I have to do is insert this into my computer to claim my money.”
“Probably a virus.” Cassandra said. Then stopped to think. “Wait... if the Simulants are connected to the ship by wifi, we just need to give them a virus.”
“I thought we were destroying Holly?”
“This would be much easier.” Cassandra said, “...and it gets rid of the simulants too.”
“Wouldn't it make Holly worse?”
“It might make him sound like a Nigerian scammer for a while, but that's no worse than he is now. Give me that memory stick.”
After a short exchange of gunfire they managed to escape the room and ran towards Holly's core. They entered a large room with an incredibly tall computer core, complete with shiny flashing lights and backs of computer screens showing a stream of scrolling 0s and 1s. This was totally unnecessary, but it looked cool. Due to technological advances, the massive seven-story computer core they were looking at was made redundant the year after it was created and shrank into a chip you could put up your nose. There were toilets in Japan with more processing power.
A tall screen of Holly's face looked surprised to see them. “Oh hello. I thought I'd got rid of you.” He said.
“Not at all sir, we're here to take my ship back!” Seymour said proudly.
“Don't you mean MY ship?” Said Jay.
“Err.. don't you mean MY ship?” Said Whitewolf.
Luckily there was only one way into this room, and the door was pretty thick. Jay ordered Gomez to seal it shut. “I mean really seal it, we don't want the simulants getting in here.” He said.
“Si Señor!” Gomez said, and found a welding kit.
Cassandra brandished the memory stick containing the virus and was about to plug it into Holly when some commotion started. “There's something in here!” Seymour shouted, pointing at the shadows. “It's a monster! Lets get out of here!”
“Too late amigos, I sealed it shut reeel good!” said Gomez.