The third worst poetry in the Universe

"You know?" the Simulant snarled dreamily "I could gaze into the limpid depths of your beautiful eyes all day long..."
"I dunno" Cass shrugged "How about trying to charm your way into getting me that memory stick lodged in his ear? - I might be able to figure out how to reprogram him"

<end snip>

Seeing that jay had a look on his face that suggested something rather rude was about to be uttered, Phil stepped up. The idea just occurred to him about how to get the memory stick for Cass.

"Oi, Seymour here is a better poet then you are!" he cried, 5 seconds later his brain deciding this was the best idea. Get the stimulants attention,yeah thats a good one Phil.

the simulant gazed round at Phil. "Oh freddled gruntbuggly..." it began.

"Feck it's moved onto Vogon poetry..everyone cover your ears!" shouted Alex, covering his as Phil made a dive towards the simulant. Sadly though this left both his ears uncovered and, as he was about to find out, rather upset the simulant who started to thrash about trying to dislodge Phil.

"A little help here would be appreactiaed " he cried out.

No one responded, although Seymour did give him a sign with his hand which could have been rude or knowing Seymour "jolly good show old chap".

".../thy micturations are to me/As plurdled gabbleblotchits on a lurgid bee...." it continued.

Luckily Phil had a high pain threshold, but he knew he wasn't safe for long.

The simulant was really not happy and was trying to dislodge Phil by banging into several pipes, breaking a few. One happened to be a sewer pipe. Which emptied itself over Phil. Now he was having to deal with being trashed about, Vogon poetry and smelling like poop.

The memory stick was stuck like, well, glue. The combined efforts of Phil, the thrashing about and the ..lets just say lubrication..was having an effect

"Or I will rend thee in the gobberwarts with my blurglecruncheon, see if I don't!"

On that last part Phil managed to remove the stick. Another verse would have melted his brain. The simulant was not moving..but for how long he didn't know.

Giving an all clear signal to the gang, he handed the stick to Cass..then was rather amusing to those around that he fell head first into Seymours lap, still covered in sewage.


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