The Medi-Bay was in chaos. Rows upon rows of bed-ridden patients coughed and spluttered as more and more funglins were vomited into the world. And the stench of sick and sweat was nearly enough to drive Thomas away and back down the corridor. The medical staff were all clad in hazmat suits, the bright white material splattered with purple gunk and a little blood. Similarly dressed guards chased the newly born funglins across the room, each grasping restraints to catch them.

‘Get me more antibodies, stat!’ shouted Jade across the room to a terrified nurse.
She was bent over a restrained patient, still yet to be stripped of his uniform and prepped for any surgery. He had been brought in only moments ago, there was still time to stop the infection spreading too far. A sticky, oozing purple growth reached out from his mouth an along his cheek, even venturing up into his nostrils. And it was visibly growing, pulsating with life as new spores imbedded themselves in his pores.
‘Jade!’ Thomas cried, taking another swig of the nova-shine and pushing past the doctors and medics.

‘Plisken!’ spat Jade, although the spittle sprayed against the clear faceplate of her suit.
‘I’ve got a plan,’ Thomas began, but he was cut off by a wave of Jade’s hand.

‘Plisken, get the smeg out of my medi-bay.’

‘No, Dr. Blac-‘

‘Don’t Doctors out rank 2nd Technicians? Especially ones that are Gardeners.’

‘Why has everyone got to pull rank on me today?’

‘Why are you still here?’ Jade asked as she took the hypospray device loaded with antibodies. She placed it to the neck of the patient and stared determinately at his vital signs on a monitor. No change. ‘Fucking hell, the infection has spread too far. Nurse, take him to the others.’

‘Listen to me, for smeg’s sake!’ demanded Thomas, and he held up the cloudy glass bottle with his nova-shine to Jade’s face. ‘This will save them.’

‘No, Thomas, I don’t have time for a drink,’ dismissed Jade.

Thomas furrowed his brow and glared at the doctor. He pulled out the cork of the bottle with a satisfying clockp and took the bottle to the patient’s lips. With a slight tip of the bottle, the crystal-clear liquid slowly trickled from the bottle’s neck. Only a dribble, sliding down the patient’s tongue. .

And then they waited.

And waited.

‘Maybe – maybe just a little bit more,’ stuttered Thomas, and he poured quite a bit more into the patient’s mouth.

And then there was a bleep from the vitals console.

‘You’ve got to be kidding me,’ said Jade in disbelief, as the readings began to settle and turn green.

‘What? Has it worked? It’s worked, hasn’t it?’ said Thomas with a smile.

‘There was a 40% reduction in fungal matter. The alcohol killed it. Jesus, what the hell is in that stuff?’

‘Just, you know, some plants from the garden,’ he muttered.

‘Yeah, well, keep them away from the flower shops. Christ, I can see it’s chemical make-up from here. Surprised it didn’t rot his throat away.’

‘Right, that’s enough gloating from me. We’ve got to get some of this stuff into everyone’s system. But I’ve only got the one bottle, so no doubles for anyone. Barely got enough for a single for everybody.’

‘It’s not just the sick we need it for either, we need enough of it for everyone on board. I can only guess the reason you are still standing is because you’ve been drinking it.’

‘Well, only a little.’

‘Let me see that,’ said Jade, and she took the bottle from Thomas’s hand. She tipped a small amount into a petri dish and slid it under a scanner. The display flashed with information about how the liquid was made, what is was made with, and trace particles that could suggest what was used to make it. Thomas understood very little of it.

‘Right,’ she continued, ‘If I can feed this information into our sampler and add a neutral accelerator to speed up the process of synthesising, then we can reproduce this stuff in no-time.’

‘I think we might have just saved Blue Dwarf,’ said Thomas, patting Jade on the back,

‘Well done Dr. Black.’

‘Well, it wouldn’t be the first time,’ she laughed.
Out from the scanner popped a large beaker of the clear nova-shine, synthesised from the medi-bay’s store of chemicals.

‘Now, we’ve just got to get everyone drunk. Think you can do it?’

‘How hard can that be?’

Jade removed her helmet and handing Thomas back his bottle. With a bright smile on her face, she clinked the glass together. ‘Cheers!’


'Now, thish ish the doctor's orders,' slurred Thomas as he struggled to stay upright. In his hand was a bottle and in the other was a glass. A slightly bewildered Jay was pressed up against the wall.

'Hol, is that right?' Jay asked.

'Yes, Jay.'

'And I have to drink this?'

'Unfortuatly, yes, Jay.'

'Why unfortunately?'

'Because I have to watch another bugger drink it while I sit here like a designated driver.'

'Hol, you're piloting the ship. You're controlling every vital system and function aboard this ship. You are the designated driver.'

'Don't worrrrrry, Hol,' laughed Thomas, 'I'll make it up to you. Shiny-Nova, AI a styled.'

'If I drink this, will you leave me alone?' asked Jay.

'Yup!' and Thomas poured Jay a generous portion of nova-shine. As Jay began to sip it down, Thomas began to sing. 'We like to drink with Jay, because Jay is our mate. And when we drink with Jay, he downs it all in 8! 7...6...5...4...3...2...1...0!'

'I finished at 6, Plisken.'

'Then that is all you, nice and safe from the toadstool menace. You know what, I'll take a swig to save myself too.'

Before he could do so, there was the distant rumble of shouting from down the corridor.

'Tanaka, get a move on!' Thomas could here Cass shouting.

'Don't worry, team!' shouted Thomas drunkenly, 'I'll save you.'

<<OOC - Will a drunken Thomas save everyone from being the Funglin's pre-meal salad? Is Jade just behind, equally as drunk and just as eager to help?'>>

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