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View character profile for: Jason Tanaka
View character profile for: Fergus O'Malley
View character profile for: Pickman
Welcome Back To The Land of The Living Dead
Jason Tanaka was dead. He had been dead for millions of years after an unfortunate accident involving a test flight with a quantum drive caused him to teleport inside a wayward colony ship, killing him and the crew. Then he spent his death as a hologram wandering the universe on the wayward mining ship, Blue Dwarf.
And then he died again.
Being lost in a nightmare realm can do that to a person, even if they're already dead. But again, death isn't a major setback for most people. And it certainly isn't any sort of definite ending. Not as far as Fergus O'Malley was concerned. And O'Malley had made a name for himself for making the Grim Reaper look like a prat.
The real problem was finding a suitable body. O'Malley had many he could choose from, but he figured Tanaka would prefer something close to his old body. So he chose the body of an Asian gentleman who had also had the poor fortune of passing away. And with the application of some good, old fashioned, science, O'Malley did what he did best: he created an unholy bastardization of nature and technology.
Jason Tanaka lived again. As far as an undead corpse could be considered living. And when his eyes shot open he couldn't help but notice he was somewhat taller than before.
"I'm not a chicken!" Tanaka shouted with glee as he danced around the rather cliched Frankenstein-esque lab that he, O'Malley, and Pickman found themselves in. He looked to O'Malley and shook the man's hand. "Thanks doc!"
"I'm glad you're feeling spry, Tanaka. I figured it'd take a moment for you to get acquainted with your new body." O'Malley smiled. "I have to say this may be my best work yet. Wouldn't you agree, Pickman?"
"I actually preferred him as a rooster," Pickman snarked.
"What are you guys talking about?" Tanaka asked.
"Well, you see..." O'Malley started, but was cut off by Pickman.
"You're a corpse!" Pickman announced, handing Tanaka a mirror so he could see his new face.
Tanaka screamed. "The smeg did you do to me???"
"Well... it's a long story. To keep it short: you died in a dream world, I made a reality pocket inside of a collapsing white hole, stole this body from a morgue in an alternate reality, and imprinted your brain patterns onto it's slightly rotting brain. All to save your life! You're welcome!"
Tanaka screamed again.
"Oh! Don't worry! You're not gonna decompose. I got a few gallons of good, old fashioned, rot-be-gone flowing through your veins! Same stuff that kept Micky Rourke going for several centuries in point of fact! Along with a few cybernetic implants to keep yer brain from going to mush there and help ya move about!"
Tanaka screamed again.
"Well I thought it was cool, anyway..."
"O'Malley... you're insane!" Tanaka exclaimed.
"Like a fox!" O'Malley chuckled. "Now, we'd best get moving. This reality won't hold up much longer. Pickman! Disengage the reality field generator! Mr. Tanaka, we best be getting to the cockpit so you can fly us out of here! If I'm correct, there is a planet about to collide with the white hole we're currently occupying..."
Tanaka suddenly realized that the Frankenstein lab was actually just a starbug med-bay with a bunch of bizarre modifications O'Malley and Pickman had no doubt added. So he followed O'Malley to the cockpit and grabbed the controls with his cold, undead hands. Sure enough, there was a giant, green planet careening towards them. Tanaka turned the starbug around and fired the retros, sending them deeper into the white hole.
Time, matter, and reality spews from a white hole like water from a fountain. Particularly one of those fancy fountains you find at Las Vegas where the streams shoot every which way and they add lights to make the act of watching water splashing about more exciting. At some instances, Tanaka found himself back as a hologrammatic rooster perched on the controls while O'Malley sat in the co-pilot's seat sucking on a binky as he reverted to a toddler. Then he was back on the claymation dunes that were the shores of Pickman's mind, and then back to being a corpse puppeteered by mad science.
"Where are we going???" Tanaka asked.
Toddler O'Malley pulled the binky out of his mouth and looked at Tanaka. "Home, my dear boy, we're going home!"