Engineer vs Engineer


As far as I know, Jaxx just broke stuff, Jay is having church piano issues, and Seymour is uncharacteristically drinking wine from the bottle, which he hasn't done since he was a hobo in a lift with Rosette. (Yes, I listen to the Podcasts) He must be really desperate for a drink!


"So.. Who is this smeghead?" Jamie asked, not muffling his voice at all. He gestured at the hologram of Justin as he said it.

"Hey, who are you calling a smeghead, You don't even know me!" Justin's disembodied, floating head replied.

"I don't need to know you. I can see that you're endangering your Captain, forcing the rest of the crew into laughable situations, and claiming it as an assault course, squandering resources and all at the same time as making an ass of yourself." Jamie explained. He did so completely deadpan, serious and followed it up by stroking his beard to get stray hairs out of his mouth.

"What do you mean, Laughable situations? This assault course is deadly!" Justin replied. Fortunately, Alex was on the ball and noticed Jamie's subtle hint. He was creating a distraction.

Alex nodded to Jade, who assisted in helping Jay to the dead-zone of the camera, which was Justin's only way of seeing the cargo bay.

"They're barely even laughable! Your mechanisms are out of date, the gears are mis-sized and I can tell you used power tools! I can see from here that half the joints have been overtightened and will probably shear before they do any real damage!" Jamie goaded, quite spectacularly.

"WHAT!? Justin screamed, controlling the camera to zoom in on the joints Jamie had pointed out. "I told the skutters to be careful!" he said.

"Look," Jamie began. "Let us out of here and I'll teach the skutters to do it properly. Then you can build a new assault course, and I'll even help you test it."

"You're just trying to trick me, aren't you?" Justin said, getting wise to the attempt.

"Hey, I'm not lying to you." Jamie said, walking over to one of the whirling buzz-saws that was against a wall of the assault course. It was positioned to mean you had to duck, bend, contort and squeeze yourself between the blades. One false move and it eviscerated you. He leant in close to the blade, made some acknowledgement noises, then held his hand above the flat part of the blade.

"NO! don't be stupid. I haven't got the equipment to reattach a hand here!" Jade called, everyone elses 'stupid' sense was ringing as well.

Jamie slammed his hand down on the flat top of the circular saw blade, and removed himself from the situation swiftly. As he had predicted, the joint sheared itself. The saw blade catapulted itself off the wall, carving its way down the first section of the assault course that Jaxx had missed. It tore through a couple of other blades before shattering against the far wall.

"See?" Jamie said. "I wasn't making any of it up." Of course, it wasn't all great news - there was a slow stream of blood dripping down his fingers to the floor, but he had made his point.

At this time, he turned back around to face Justin, hoping that his display had enraged the idiot hologram enough to create a distraction for everyone else to get through. Maybe the rogue circular saw had gouged a hole big enough for them to get through, and out into the rest of the ship...

<tag guys. Did it make a big enough hole? is escape possible now? Stay tuned for the next episode written by someone else!>

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