A Girl Needs A Little Protection

Colonel Neill, as expected, didn’t get the cultural reference but shook his head in any case “My order stands” he said stiffly and turned to ride away.

“Napoleon is going to kill us all” Jay called after him, “We might have some equipment that could help to beat him”

This made Neill halt and bring his horse back around to face us.

“Go on” he said warily.

“We have an equipment cache” Jay explained, skirting the subject of the time drive’s null-space cache “There may be shields and weaponry in there that we could use”

There was, of course, one other option that nobody had mentioned. I took a deep breath “We could use the time drive to jump us and the Delorean to the Alamo”

Jay grimaced “It’ll cause a paradox, so it’ll likely be a one way trip” he said heavily “and since the time drive can’t manage everyone, it would mean abandoning more than seventy men to their deaths”

I shrugged – Given a choice between my life and anyone else’s; it’s my life every time “Anyone else got any other ideas?”

"Two minutes, my little English chums!"

So there’s three choices for you:

Surrender and take what we’ve got coming to us – Is Napoleon really an earlier incarnation of Mini Phil? – Can we somehow escape if we do surrender?

See what we can find in the equipment cache – Heavy weapons, shielding units, anything else? – Anyone fancy a battle?

Safely jump to the Alamo with the time drive and try to ignore the prickling of our consciences.

If you want to join in and haven't been tagged and mentioned, just write yourself in - we could do with a few more people posting...


As Jay was trying to appeal to Colonel Neill, Evelina interrupted them saying, "Jay what's that?"

Jay turned to look just as a light was appearing next to Napoleon. Napoleon stopped his counting and turned to look at the light as it grew bigger and eventually turned into a Port-A-Can.


Everyone paused to look at the "Magical House" that appeared before them in a flashing and swirling light. As everyone watched the Port-A-Can they saw a man exit it who looked very much like Phil but without facial hair like Napoleon. As Jay and Cass watched the Phil look a like they dropped their jaws with disbelief.

Eventually Jamie spoke up and asked, "Is that Phil?"

Cass and Jay look at each other as he asked, "You said you killed him."

Cass responded in shock as she said, "I did! Or at least I thought I did. Honestly who survives a nuke in the arse?"

Jay grunted as he rubbed his head as Cass apologized a lot.

Jade asked, "So is that Phil and Mini-Phil?"

Jay grumbled as he looked up and said, "Yes and No. Its not our Phil and Mini-Phil its Nega-Phil and Nega-Mini-Phil. They are from a mirror dimension where they are the bad guys and Mini-Phil is in charge."

Cass scowled as she said, "You forgot to mention that this Mini-Phil is an even bigger pervert that ours. No living thing is safe from him and his libido has no end. This Phil is still smart but he is a coward and his gas is what powers that Port-A Can. Jay if they recognize us we are deep shit. That little perv will take us all to his creepy sex dungeon."

Jay growled as he looked at Cass and said, "I didn't want to freak the others out about that. It's bad enough we know about that place."

Jay looked at he faces of the others as he said, "We can't surrender. Its not an option."

Colonel Neill said, "I have no idea what you are talking about but I'll be damned before I end up in some sex dungeon."

Sam asked, "So what do you suggest?"

Jay said, "I need a distraction to check out the cache in the drive. Cass can you help me?"

Evelina grunted as she said, "I got this Jay. I kept them it just in case of an emergency."

Evelina reached under her skirt and pulled off two metal leg garters off and held them till they turned into a can again before tossing one to Jamie.

Jamie looked at the can as Evelina concentrated on the can and it turned into a shark gun like the one she used before at the resort.

Jamie said, "You were packing Phil's weapons on your legs?"

Evelina smirked as she said, "A girl needs a little protection now and then especially when her husband is off on some spiritual mission."

Jay and Cass smirked at Evelina as they began messing with the cache in the time drive.

Jamie asked, "So what else do you have under that dress?"

Evelina fired off three rounds of land shark missiles towards Napoleon (Nega-Mini-Phil) and Nega-Phil.


Then Evelina looked at Jamie as she smirked and said, "Nothing you need to worry about. I'm a married woman remember."

Jamie was interupted as he said, "No was asking about.." when the land sharks leaped from the earth and began eating the soldiers and Indians as Nega-Phil quickly grabbed Nega-Mini-Phil and ran to the back of the soldiers.

Seeing that the soldiers and Indians were in a panic Jamie concentrated as he made a cybernetic bow by concentrating. As he drew back on the bowstring five energy arrows appeared on the string before he aimed and released them. The energy arrows soared through the air and exploded as they hit anything or one in their path. Screams of Indians and soldiers filled the air as they were being eaten by the land sharks or blasted by the energy arrows.

Sam popped up to take a few potshots hoping to thin out the enemy while they were distracted. Jamie and Evelina smirked as they took turns firing their weapons at the enemy hoping to buy Jay and Cass some time to look in their weapon cache. Colonel Neill was shocked by the weapons of the Dwarfers but was more concerned about his men and the distracted enemy as he ordered them to continue to fire at the enemy. The fear of Napoleon's sex dungeon gave many the courage to face their possible death with guns a blazing.

Evelina yelled, "Yo Little Bitch! Say hello to my little friends! You so much as think about putting me in your sex dungeon and I'll feed you to my husband personally!"

TAG (Jamie and Evelina managed to buy some time but will it be enough or will the tide turn again?)

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